FIVE NIGHT AT FREDDYS (2023)

FIVE NIGHT AT FREDDYS (2023)

The cover to the Australian 4K release of FNAF

I’ve never played a Five Nights at Freddy’s game… EVER. Honestly, I’ve never even SEEN the game but I am aware of what a pop culture phenomenon it is.

From 2016 to 2024, I managed a pop culture retail shop, and when we first opened, we had an entire section dedicated to the franchise, and sold everything from plush to Funko pops, actions figures and all kinds of other stuff, and it was super popular but like a lot of pop culture stuff, the shine left it and the section in the store diminished to nothing.

Then randomly in 2022 a film was announced and for some reason no toys or product was available to us so we missed a boat that could have been huge. Even Funko didn’t release much stuff for the films release so maybe there was a doubt that the film would be any good.

Maybe they saw the name ‘Blumhouse’ attached to it.

Anyway, I’m not sure if not having any knowledge about the ‘lore’ associated with the game makes me more or less qualified to review it, but I CAN tell you that I had friends who were fans of the game who went from loving its original take to hating it for detracting from the core of the ideas in the game.

This film was directed by Emma Tammi, who co-wrote the script with Seth Cuddeback, Tyler McIntyre and Chris Lee Hill, based on the script of the original game by Scott Cawthon, with the animatronics characters created by the Jim Henson Workshop.

Josh Hutcherson as Mike

Five Nights at Freddy’s tells of Mike (Hutcherson) who has been fired from his job in mall security after beating up a man who he thought was abducting a child, which rings to his past as his younger brother was kidnapped whilst under his care, an event he constantly dreams of and attempts to get more details of.

His parents, now both deceased, have left him in charge of his younger sister, Abby (Piper Rubio) so he has have to put his life on hold to make sure she is ok, so losing this job is catastrophic, especially considering his Aunt Jane (Mary Stuart Masterson) is desperate to take Abby under her care.

Matthew Lillard as Steve, amongst others…

At a job centre, Mike meets Steve (Matthew Lillard) who offers him a security position at the abandoned Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, a children’s restaurant from the 80s with a dark history but the owner insists on protecting it even though its not been open for years.

Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria

Mike feels that there is something odd about the job, but his fears are waylaid by the introduction of Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail), a friendly cop who has stopped by to check on the new security guard. He continues to do the job, but as his life falls apart, things at work get weirder and weirder…

Visually, it’s not entirely that it’s a bad film, but I think it just came too late, as Willy’s Wonderland and Banana Splits managed to get out first and also don’t have the weight of the history behind the game weighing it down. From my understanding, the animatronic characters look true to form, and according to one of the extras, the YouTuber fans of the game franchise were impressed by the set also.

Unfortunately the praise stops there. The main characters… all of them… are drastically unlikable that I found myself continuing to pray that they would come to their ends. Hutcherson, as the hero of the piece, is so dramatically unlikable that its hard to feel anything about his personal plight, and Rubio as the obnoxious sister bring ‘obnoxicity’ to a new level. Lillard, lets face it, isn’t the greatest of actor in the world unless pantomime is your thing, so his overacting nonsense you’d feel would be perfect for a project like this but stands out horribly… there is a scene where he notices something and the pause is so long that both him and the director should have just held up ‘this is a plot device’ sign. Masterson as the Aunt is suitable malodorous which she is supposed to be, and Lail is pleasant as the cute female love interest but isn’t really given much to do, which is a shame.

The basic plot was nothing new, but I’m a horror fan who also likes Star Wars and superhero films so ‘new’ is hardly a concept that I should criticise and I suppose it’s my error for thinking that a movie based on a video game would really bring anything new to the table, especially one marketed at kids. Weirdly also, for something that is obviously aimed at a younger audience, considering it’s YouTube history and ‘M’ rating. The sub-plot that is introduced as Mike’s trauma is so telegraphed from the absolute beginning that even my wife who, whilst sitting next to me for one viewing but NOT actually watching it, picked it immediately.

I’m sure that fans of this game franchise enjoyed this film but as someone who has zero association with it, that is I don’t know if it’s good or not, i did not. Its a generic attempt at a film franchise that came too late as Willy’s Wonderland and Banana Splits beat them to the punch.

The menu screen from the 4K release of FNAF

Disc: Only three extras on the disc:

Five Nights at Freddy’s: From Game to Big Screen looks at how the filmmakers went from adapting the video game phenomenon to a big budget horror film. There is interviews with cast and crew, and also some YouTubers who came onto the set after years of be FNAF content producers.

Killer Animatronics sees how the actors interacted with these ‘real’ fictional characters, and the puppeteers from Jim Henson who created them.

Five Nights in Three Dimensions look at the reaction of the Pizzeria that the characters exist within. It’s a pretty detail set so this extra was quite fascinating.

The ‘horrifying’ children’s characters

This film was reviewed with the Australian 4K release purchased from JB Hifi.

NIGHT SWIM (2024)

The Australian BD release of Night Swim

NIGHT SWIM (2024)

Even though I am quite regularly critical of both Blumhouse Pictures and James Wan, I still like to give their new products a go. Just like Marvel and DC and Star Wars movies, I know the product is going to be generic claptrap with little imagination involved, but I’m still prepared and wait in hope that either of them might actually make something that is actual horror, and not just nonsensical pablum based in some kind of weird and archaic fear of the occult.

I mean come on people, are you REALLY afraid of The Conjuring and Insidious films?!?

Anyway, this film is the directorial debut of Bryce McGuire who based this on a short film he made 10 years earlier with his writing partner, Rod Blackhurst. Ill give one thing to McGuire, from the extras on this disc he is an enthusiastic filmmaker and hopefully will be given another chance in the future to actually make something good.

Oh, did I just bury the lead?

Ray (Wyatt Russell) and Eve (Kerry Condon)

Night Swim tells the tale of Ray Waller (Wyatt Russell), a former pro-baseball player who has had to retire from playing due to an illness. He and his wife, Eve (Kerry Condon), and children Izzy (Amelie Hoeferie) and Elliot (Gavin Warren) are house hunting and find a place that is a little rundown but has a pool that is potentially a great option for Ray as hydrotherapy could really help him out…

… and help him out it does! Over a very short period, Ray seems to be improving rapidly, even down to a deep cut on his hand miraculously disappearing after the family cat goes missing… coincidence? Maybe…

As Ray gets better though, his behaviour starts to change and the rest of the family all have strange occurrences with the pool happen to them individually which makes them all start to fear the back yard entertainment area.

At a pool party, the real estate agent tells Eve that she found out that in 1992 and young girl drowned in the pool, and after some research, she discovers a series of events that put the pool in a dark light… and after meeting the parent of the drowning victim, she decides she needs to get the family out asap before something bad happens to them…

The original natural spring from where the pool comes.

This is an interesting film insomuch as whilst watching the film all this sounds feasible but when you recount the tale to another person (or in a review) it sounds fucking ridiculous. There’s been some pretty obtuse ideas of haunted items and while this isn’t necessarily haunted per se, it does have a freaky backstory that doesn’t sound slightly feasible outside the confines of its universe.

I guess thats what most films are like but this seemed really more apparent than a lot of other horror films.

The performances of the cast was mostly fine, with Condon and Russell really being the foundations of the whole thing, though there were a few characters that didn’t really hold up in the greater scheme of things as they almost seemed like parody, especially the mother of the drowned girl who came across more like a joke version of a j-horror character from a Scary Movie film.

There’s something or someONE in the skimmer box

I do have to give the director some credit for the underwater scenes which were mostly shot very well and really had a decent selection of scares to them. Some really nice combinations of knowing something is there and then it disappearing to a clever effect. Actually for the most part the entire film was shot really well.

One other thing, and this is me being a bit picky, but I built pools for a few years and my step-dad owned a pool company for about 25 years and in all that time I had never heard of the type of pool that they talk about in this film; this freshwater pool. Sure it’s a piece of fiction but it just stuck out as weird for me. If anyone had heard of pools with this design and filtration, I’d be happy to hear about it.

I do have to say that i found it interesting that the local school was named ‘Harold Holt’ – not a name you would expect in an American film, especially one to have a school in his name, but certainly a name you would expect to find in a story about drowning.

This is one of those films that are a good idea stretched into an overlong space. I feel that scenes of ‘killer pools’ in things like Burnt Offerings or even Poltergeist’s corpse filled hole are really effective but I’m not sure it translates to a full feature.

The menu screen for the Australian BD release

Disc: The are a bunch of extras on this disc:

Masters of Fear sees members of the cast and crew suckling from the teat of James Wan and Jason Blum. It is full of the usual ‘foundations of modern horror’ crap that these sorts of ego rubs are full of when in actual fact these blockbuster horrors are no different from the stuff Disney is producing: safe and digestible horror movies.

Demon from the Depths looks at the costumes of the things that ‘live’ in the pool, which are pretty amazing.

Into The Deep explores filming in a water environment.

Marco Polo looked at the ‘Marco Polo’ scene and how the filmmakers idea was to ‘spoil’ the household swimming pool just like Jaws spoilt the beach.

There is also a very enthusiastic commentary by the director which is a fascinating insight into his methods of direction.

There’s something worse than an ear infection in this pool!

This film was purchased from JB Hi-Fi.

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

The Umbrella release of Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

Why?

It’s a question I ask myself a lot in regards to movies.

For example, why the HELL does a horror movie starring Winnie the Pooh exist? Is it because of the fandom behind the video game Five Nights at Freddy’s, and the strange horror films with nostalgic/ childish themes of Willy’s Wonderland and The Banana Splits? More likely it was because the rights to the characters become public domain on the 1st January 2022, and even though Disney have the rights to their depiction of the characters, they can’t really control anything that anyone else wants to do… including writer/ director Rhys Frake-Waterfield, who claimed in an Instagram post ‘that’s what I’m try to do, ruin everybody’s childhood!’

I don’t know about you, but I can smell the soiled nappy of Enfant terrible!

The excellent thing about this film is it is actually a sequel to all of A. A. Mine’s original stories, with some embellishments.

Mary (Paula Coiz) and Christopher Robin (Nikolai Leon) smell some Pooh.

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey tells of Christopher Robin (Nikolai Leon) who as a child met some strange half human, half animal creatures, Owl, Rabbit, Eeyore, Piglet and Winnie the Pooh, in 100 Acre Wood, whom he befriended and everyday took them food and played with them… but little boys grow up and eventually, Christopher left them to fend for themselves, but they had lost their animalistic instincts, and on one particularly hungry night, killed Eeyore and ate him. This effected them so badly that they swore they would never ever talk to a human ever again.

Many years later, Christopher takes his fiancé Mary (Paula Coiz) back to prove to her that every story he had told her about his childhood was true, but after Piglet (Chris Cordell) murders her, and he and Winnie the Pooh (Craig David Dowsett) take Christopher prisoner, they start a rampage which includes a local house which has had recently had a group of young women have moved in for a short holiday, getting away from the pressure of the real world and the digital age.

Lara (Natasha Tosini) is about to be in even hotter water!

This film has one thing that is quite frustrating about it: the premise is so damned stupid that you want to hate it and as a gory monster movie… we’ll, it’s actually not that bad! It does the simple thing of filling itself full of standard horror tropes as they obviously expected that such an idea would be thought of as ridiculous. Also, in it making the 100 Acre Wood animals just men in masks, the need for the sense of disbelief that would be required for animatronics or stop motion is bypassed, and we can just get into the ideas of the story and the 100 mile-an-hour gore and violence.

I’ll just double down on what I claimed too: the masks look like something Trick or Treat Studios would produce to piss of Disney, and they are just whacked onto the heads of monstrously sized actors (well they appear to be, whether they are or not could be a trick of the camera) and the buffoonishly friendly faces belie the terror that they can cause. This juxtaposition of childhood memories and adult violence are off-putting and really make them terrifying. The effects are on point too, with some really strange bits with Pooh’s friendly face being coated in blood as he dispatches another human.

The gore is frequent and often

The acting is, well, classic horror trope-ish as well, with a combination of actual decent actors, and people who can read words but are attractive, so being convincing is just a side product. I can’t imagine any of the people in the film will ever be concerned about this being on their resume when they are accepting their Oscar.

The music and set pieces are top notch and make this weird film weirder. The 100 Acre Woods are flat out bizarre, and some of the other sets, like the abandoned garage, are places that I would have be unsettled by even if I was just the location scout. The soundtrack matches the odd places as well, confirming the location’s odd look with its soundscape.

The story of converting the legend of Pooh and his friends is quite clever, with starvation and abandonment being their motivations for being killers, and this is well incorporated into what proves itself to be a well-made slasher/ monster movie… I’m still not quite sure which as it on one hand it’s like a Frankenstein movie, but on the other, seems like Texas Chain Saw Massacre, or The Hills Have Eyes. Maybe seeing as it does have the ‘remote violent family’ thing happening, it’s more a hillbilly horror movie.

I think if I must make the comparison to another movie, it would be Wrong Turn. It’s got that 70s/ 80s remoteness vibe to it, but certainly is a modern take on it. The addition of Winnie the Pooh seems more like an afterthought to an existing script to give it notoriety and attention, but it slides right in like a knife between the ribs.

To its detriment, it does somehow feel like it goes on a little too long. Is it because it’s a joke that outstays it’s welcome? Maybe, but it took me several sittings to get through it.

Despite that, I did have a lot of fun watching this film, but I think without the Pooh references it would be easily forgotten. It’s good, but like many horror movies of this type, I think it might fade quite quickly and be one of those ‘yeah, I think I saw that like ten years ago’ movies.

The menu screen to the Umbrella Entertainment release

There’s some interesting stuff amongst the extras on this Australian Bluray release of the film.

Behind the Scenes is literally just some shot-on-phone footage of on-set ways of making the movie. No information, no commentary, just stuff that happened. There’s not a great deal of interest here. It’s probably a nice keepsake for those who worked on the film.

Bloopers is just what it says on the box. As with the above extra, the people who worked on the film would possibly find it funnier than we, the viewers.

Winnie the Pooh – Violins and Honey is actually a fascinating piece… it’s a piece that will also make you say ‘why?’ but it’s interesting nevertheless. For some reason, composer Andrew Scott Bell and his manager Mike Rosen travel to an apiary as they had heard that a company called Violin Torture had set a violin in a hive to see if bees would use it, and Bell wanted to use the violin on the soundtrack. This is their story.

Fan Art is a 30 second slideshow of some fan art for the movie.

There is also a trailer for the film.

This disc also features an audio commentary, which I didn’t find until later as it’s in the ‘set up’ menu option rather than the ‘extras. The commentary is with writer/ director Rhys Frake-Waterfield and cinematographer Vince Knight. It’s a very engaging commentary with discussions about budget and even the release date and it’s competitor releases.

The film was reviewed using the Australian release Bluray, purchased from JB Hifi.

Seriously, if you have this much blood on your Pooh, seek medical advice!

Renfield (2023)

The Australian Bluray release of Renfield

Renfield (2023)

Disc: Of all the things in the world I never though I’d need, like an underwater car, or a parrot, or skydiving lessons, Nicholas Cage as Dracula was certainly amongst them, but now I’m starting to look at that list… do I want to drive underwater, would a pet bird be fun and is plummeting to my almost certain death from an aeroplane things I DO need, because Cage as Dracula is most definitely something that made me happy.

Renfield was written by Ryan Ripley, based on a treatment by Invincible and The Walking Dead’s Robert Kirkman, and was directed by Chris McKay, best known as the director of the incredibly popular The Lego Batman Movie (2017). Is he the right guy for a horror movie? Well no, but he is certainly right for this amusing look at Dracula and his henchman Renfield.

This film has an interesting take of the legend of Dracula as its told from the point of view of his interred assistant, Renfield (Nicholas Hoult).

Hoult as Renfield

This tale takes place in modern day, and after a small recounting of his life as Dracula’s slave (told with some fun deep-fakery with Bela Lugosi’s Dracula film from the 30s) we get stuck right into it as we find Renfield at a support group in New Orleans. This support group is one to help those in abusive relationships, and whilst Renfield initially uses it as a way to find people who ‘deserve’ to be fed to Dracula, he finds some of the stories resonating and that he himself is in an abusive relationship with his master.

Cage as Dracula

Before that though, we find Renfield helping one of the group members who has been abused by her drug dealer boyfriend, who has stolen drugs from the Lobo crime family. On the same night he goes to get him to feed Dracula, the son of the crime family matriarch, Teddy (Ben Schwartz) has delivered an assassin to kill the dealer/thieves and so Renfield finds himself in a three way fight.

By the way, I should point out that Renfield gains temporary super powers whenever he eats a bug, which leads to some funny and gross moments in the film.

The resulting bloodshed results in the police getting involved, and we find cop Rebecca (Awkwafina) hot on the tail of Teddy, to try and avenge her father, a cop killed by the Lobo family.

Awkwafina as Rebecca

Renfield quickly finds an ally in Rebecca and in response, and in a petty relationship moment that many of us have endured, Dracula finds himself as a volunteer in the Lobo crime family! So what happens when a crime family, the police and an ancient evil collide? Bloodshed, of course… lots and lots of it.

I like to say I am not a big fan of the horror/ comedy sub-genre, but considering I rate Return of the Living Dead, Shaun of the Dead and Reanimator high on my favourite movies list, I should probably stop saying that. Whilst Renfield doesn’t hit the heights of those three, it is a fun take of the legend of Dracula.

Nicholas Hoult as Renfield is obviously the prime character in the film, and he does the stuttering, doddering Englishman role to a T, to the point I occasionally thought he was doing an impression of Hugh Grant. His nervousness and jittery characterisation of Renfield is a fantastic juxtaposition to the super powered, blood machine that he becomes after eating a bug.

Nic Cage as Dracula is obviously the standout in the film. An actor who seemingly has become a conscious parody of himself in the past ten years has really shone him in this role, as he adapts so many affectations of various other Dracula films including Nosferatu, Bela Lugosi’s performance and even his own uncle’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula film from the 90s. He chews up every scene and delivers both the threat and the laughs with an equal amount of gusto. Honestly, the conscious parody has actually benefitted him in this performance.

Awkwafina is surprising in the cop role, riffing a little bit of Samuel L. Jackson (but there’s not Bats on a mother fucking Plane here) with her foul-mouthed, no nonsense, shouty, abusive, bullying cop. Her and Hoult share a few amazing action sequence too which stand out as high points in both the violence and the comedy stake.

On that: the film has a great look to it and the New Orleans backdrop for the crime family is fantastic. Many of the set pieces are perfect, including the Lobo family torture chamber, and the hospital that Renfield and Dracula have holed up in, abandoned after a major disaster but taking place of a gothic domicile and looking like a run down castle fits perfectly. The fight scenes are also spectacularly silly, and even have a Marvel/ superhero film ridiculousness to it, but with more blood than I care to even be able to understand. There’s SO much I’m sure, even after watching the making-of stuff, that at least some of it MUST have not been practical.

I can comfortably see this in a regular rotation in my re-watch list of films. It’s heaps of fun and tells an interesting tale about abusive relationships, and Cage’s Dracula is spectacularly amazing.

The Australian Bluray menu screen

We have a lot of extras on this Australian Bluray release.

There a big set of Deleted and Extended Scenes and a few Alternate Takes as well. As I usually say, the film was neither better nor suffered without them, and the takes used in the film were clearly the best.

Dracula UnCaged looks at Cage’s performance as Dracula, with commentary from co-stars and crew, along with his own affection for the role, based on a childhood love of Nosferatu (1922) and right through to being an adult fan of vampire films. Cage recounts his performance via his personal history with the craft of acting, and with that of his family’s experience with making vampire films.

Monsters and Men: Behind the Scenes of Renfield discusses at the motivation of the film, and its origins and execution. They breakdown everything from the look of the film to the costumes and everything else, all in under 15 minutes!

Stages of Rejuvenation is an interesting look at the make up effects on Cage’s face.

Flesh and Blood looks at the practical effects of the film which surprised me. I had to go back and rewrite a part of this very review because I assumed by the amount of blood that it was CGI and it wasn’t!

Fighting Dirty unpacks the ridiculous and amazing fight scenes that are scrappy and comic-booky but oh-so-violent in there execution!

The Making of a Deleted Scene: Renfield’s Dance is interesting but essentially superfluous as the sequence didn’t make it into the film. I appreciate that they included it as it would be frustrating for all involved if it didn’t get seen at all.

Feature Commentary with Producer Samantha Nisenboim, Screenwriter Ryan Ridley and Crew (they do list themselves at the beginning of the commentary but they shoot out there names so quickly I couldn’t catch them all) is spectacularly enthusiastic and really informative.

Did I mention it’s got some blood and gore in it?