Category Archives: To Watch Pile

MADHOUSE aka THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL (1981)

by in To Watch Pile and tagged , , , | Leave a comment

MADHOUSE (1981)

The cover to Arrow Video’s release of Madhouse

There was a little girl who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good,

And when she was bad, she was horrid.

This is the poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow that Ovidio G. Assonitis (Man from Deep River) developed into a script, initially with Roberto Gandus (Macabre) until creative differences split them and it went to Stephen Blakely (his only credit according to IMDB) to finish. Assonitis also took on the role of director for this film.

Patricia Mickey as Julie Sullivan

Madhouse, aka There was A little Girl, is probably better known as one of the films on the 39 notorious prosecuted Video Nasty films in the UK in 1984, along with better known films as I Spit on Your Grave and Last House on the Left. There’s an amazing documentary about these films by Jake West called Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship and Videotape from 2010 which really digs into the nitty gritty of the whole time which I can’t recommend enough! There’s also a sequel which furthers the history called Video Nasties: Draconian Days, also worth a watch.

Madhouse tells the tale of Julia Sullivan (Patricia Mickey) is a young and successful schoolteacher at a school for the deaf, living in Savannah, Georgia. As her birthday approaches, she’s haunted by the traumatic memories of her childhood and her violent, disturbed twin sister, Mary (Allison Biggers). The two were inseparable as children until Mary’s increasingly erratic behavior, included cruel violence and resentment towards her sister, led to her being institutionalised.

Enter porno-stached male lead, Sam (Michael MacRae)

Years later, Julia learns that Mary has escaped from the asylum.

Suddenly, people close to Julia begin turning up dead in brutal ways. As Julia’s sanity begins to unravel, she’s drawn into a terrifying game of cat and mouse, where family secrets, religious guilt, and deep psychological scars collide in a house filled with darkness.

In the final, twisted confrontation, Julia must face not only her deranged sister but the truth about her past—and survive a birthday she’ll never forget…

My first question is… how the heck have I never seen this film? It reminds me of The Burning in so much as it ignores the standard tropes of the slasher films that, at the time of release, were becoming popular and did something a little different. The story is engaging and interesting and the cast are great.

Seriously, don’t trust a dog in a horror movie

I understand why it was a video nasty as it has come violence against children and some animal cruelty, even though the animal is obviously fake, so be warned if that sort of stuff effects your enjoyment.

Not me though, I loved it. I’m sure it’s going to become a regular on my movie rewatch rotation!

The menu screen for the Madhouse Bluray

Extras: Arrow Video consistently provide good extras and this disc is no exception!

Audio Commentary with The Hysteria Continues

Running the Madhouse is an interview with Edith Ivey, who played Amantha (come on, is it Samantha or Amanda: pick a lane), the landlord in the film. There is some very nice recollections on the making of the film and the language issues between cast and crew.

Framing Fear is an interview with cinematographer Roberto D’Ettorre Piazzoli and he goes through his career and the making of Madhouse.

Ovidio Nasty talks about the film and the response in the UK in 1984.

Alternate Opening Titles and Original Trailer are nice additions.

Film: 8/10

Extras: 7/10

Rewatchability: 8/10

Worst black eye I’ve ever seen!

Purchased from Metal Movies on eBay

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT (2022)

by in To Watch Pile and tagged , , | Leave a comment

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT (2022)

The cover to the Australian 4K release

One cannot merely walk into Nic-toberfest without discussing a film that is a love letter to the actor himself. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent is unusual in so much as it’s not an ego piece because initially when writer/ director Tom Gormican and writer Kevin Etten, he rejected it hard, and it wasn’t until he received a letter from Etten declaring it wasn’t a skit or an insult, it was a dedicated love letter to the man and his career, and that he wasn’t essentially playing himself, he was playing a version of himself: ‘Nick Cage’.

Nic Cage as the Meme Nick Cage

Note the spelling.

This whole Nic-toberfest that I run here on Digital Retribtuion is a tribute to Cage, and his 40 years in cinema . I know he has become a meme from this film, and people love the 1990 appearance on Wogan in the UK where he cartwheels into the show, karate kicks and throws money into the audience, but he’s made such a variety of hits and misses that he’s always entertaining, and aren’t we entertained by him no matter how bad the film is?!? Cage is a fan of the creative arts and I do admire his love dearly, and I hope I am able to maintain my love of pop culture the way he has.

Anyway, enough fanboying… and let’s review a film all about fanboying!

Nick Cage (Nicolas Cage) is having lots of trouble in his life; he can’t get work, and his daughter, Addy (Lily Mo Sheen), thinks he is an idiot… teenagers, right? He has decided to quit acting but is taking one last job of going to a birthday party, offered to him by his agent, Richard Fink (Neil Patrick Harris) for a fee of $1,000,000 which will round up his outstanding bills.

Pedro Pascal as the Meme Javi

This last gig is at the property of Javi Gutierrez (Pedro Pascal), who has written a script for him and is disturbed by his announcement of retirement. Before he goes to the property though, a fan at the airport, Vivian (Tiffany Haddish), slips a device into his pocket, and very quickly, Nick is involved in a plot involving American government agents and arms dealers.

I normally hate this kind of stuff, and that’s not to say I don’t love a good comedy, but this meta/ written by the internet/ meme-ish junk I just find stupid. That being said, I may have been bitten by The Machine with Burt Kreischer and Mark Hamill, which was the first film I saw at the cinema after the COVID lockdowns.

Nic Cage as Nicky

Covid was easy, that film made me hate cinema for about 6 months.

The thing that is fun about this film is is that it’s the bastard son of a romantic comedy (Cage’s and Pascal’s bromance) and a spy thriller, with a dash of mystery thrown in. Cage is clearly playing a parody of himself, and the appearance of his Id (or is it Ego, I can never remember) in the form of Nicky, him playing a younger arrogant version of himself, is hilarious and responsible for a scene that finally made me understand what ‘the Ick’ is.

… and if you think Cage’s performances are over the top, he exceeds himself here, and is matched beautifully by the insanity that is Pedro Pascal’s performance. Pascal plays the self-spoilt brat fan with so much gusto that it’s hard to remember his reserved performance as Din Djarin in Disney’s The Mandalorian. The scene of them dropping acid together is both ridiculous and fun at the same time.

Honestly, these over the top antics are replicated by many of the other cast as well, with Sharon Horgan as his ex-wife, and the aforementioned Sheen being the anchors in reality, giving the over the top performances an opportunity to really be silly and fun.

Here’s the problem though; I enjoyed some of the scenes, I thought the bromance was amusing, and recognising the meme in cinema form (you know the one, with Cage and a pascal looking at each other in a car) was fun, but essentially, it’s totally disposable. The script can’t exist without Cage, and I’m sure the other actors would not have been involved if Cage hadn’t put his hand up to do it, which he didn’t want to at first.

There’s some great stunts, a few funny moments but it is unnecessarily far too long. It’s a 90 minute script milked to almost 2 and a half hours, which it certainly did NOT need to be.

I’m a big Cage fan, obviously (it’s why Nic-toberfest exists!) but this doesn’t sit well with me much at all.

The menu screen for the Australian 4K release

Extras: A decent bunch of extras on this 4k disc.

Audio commentary and Deleted scenes (with optional commentary) by Gormican and Etten are certainly a love letter to Cage and cinema in general.

The Mind discusses Gormican and Etten’s ideas for a film where Nic Cage plays the actor Nick Cage, and selecting the other cast for the project.

Glimmers of a Bygone Age looks into the recreation of some of Cage’s older performances.

Everybody Needs a Javi investigates Pascal’s portrayal of Javi.

Nick, Nicky and Sergio looks into the idea of Nicky: the ultimate version of Cage that acts as his conscious? Advisor? It’s probably a Jiminy Cricket role. Sergio is a role he plays within the film who is a mafioso, and is a ball of fun as well.

Second Act Action is all about the stunts, and it’s always interesting to watch this sort of stuff.

Cages 5 and Up looks at a bunch of kids acting as Cage. The one doing ‘THE BEES!!’ Is gold.

SXSW Film Festival Q&A is a 15 minute Q&A after the screening of the film.

You can also weirdly set bookmarks on the disc and find them here… does anyone still do that?

Film: 4/10

Extras: 10/10

Rewatchability: 2/10

A lump of wax as Nic Cage

This film was purchased from JB Hifi

8MM (1999)

by in To Watch Pile and tagged , , , | Leave a comment
The Australian Cinema Cult release of 8MM

8MM (1999)

You know how sometimes you watch a film and think what an absolute classic it is and wonder why it doesn’t get more respect? This is how I feel about this film, 8MM from 1999.

8MM is written by Andrew Kevin Walker, who also wrote Se7en and in my opinion, sits neatly next to that film in its story and quality of thrills. Maybe it doesn’t get the credit it deserves because it has Nicolas Cage instead of Brad Pitt as its lead, and Joachim Phoenix instead of Morgan Freeman, and in 1999 is was before Phoenix got his academy award, lending him ‘legitimacy’, and before Cage became everyone’s favourite meme for the Wicker Man… ‘the bees… THE BEEEEESSSSSSSS’.

This is the weird thing about this film is whilst it should be a A thriller, it feels like a B movie, which is something I believe Joel Schumacher (The Lost Boys), the director, was vying for: the sleazy subject matter perhaps deserved to be sleazy in its presentation. Probably a smart artistic decision but maybe it’s one of the reason why it’s not necessary regarded as highly as Se7en or Silence of the Lambs.

Nic Cage as Tom Welles

8MM tells of private investigator Tom Welles (Nicolas Cage) who is hired by Mrs Christian (Myra Carter), a millionaire’s widow, to inventive an 8MM film found amongst his belongings in a safe I his office. The contents of this film are that of a young girl being brutalised and murdered, and Mrs Christian wants to be assured that the film isn’t real.

Joaquin Phoenix as Max Californian

This leads Welles to getting assistance from porno shop worker Max California (Joaquin Phoenix) who takes him to the dark side of underground porno films, where he meets the likes of adult film star procurer Eddie Poole (James Gandolfini), porno Star Machine (Chris Bauer) and pornographer Dino Velvet (Peter Stormare), but will he find out the truth, or will he be drawn into a web of sleaze from which he may never return?

Jenny Powell as Mary Ann Mathew’s

Thrillers for me are just as important as horror, and I love a bit of crime/ gumshoe styled stuff as well… all these things are in a Venn diagram that has Giallo in the centre so I guess that makes sense. This film is a high point of crime and thriller and a massive dollop of noir within it as well.

Schumacher really shows just how accomplished a filmmaker he is with this film as it shows the personalities of the various cities and their population. He shows the underside of the porn world and the filming gets dirtier and dirtier as it goes on. Spectacular to watch. What I also really love is the fact that when we get to the end of the film and the ‘monster’ is revealed, its presented as a final scene in a Universal monster pic.

Walker’s script is solid too, and I reckon just as fine a pic as the aforementioned Se7en. In actual fact, I tend to hit a trilogy of films when I watch this, 8MM, Se7en and Silence of the Lambs. Three amazing thrillers that I reckon are all as good as each other but have various levels of respect from film fans and critics, 8MM being the embarrassing little brother who gets drunk before everyone else.

I really do think this film is high quality, even though it’s described as being to sleazy and predictable, of which the latter I don’t find to be true. Cage is really good in this as are the rest of the cast, even though the pornographers may be charactatures of those types of people were like in the 90s: I have no point of reference

I think it is definitely worth a revisit if you have not seen it in a while. Considering the advances in technology, the story still holds up nicely.

The menu screen for the film

Extras:

Just a little 5 minute making-of that was not really worth my 5 minutes.

Film:9/10

Extras: 2/10

Rewatchability: 10/10

Peter Stormare as Dino Velvet

This Bluray was purchased from JB HiFi

MANDY (2018)

by in To Watch Pile | Leave a comment

MANDY (2018)

The Australian Bluray release of Mandy

Sometimes you see the hype that surrounds a film and you wonder how it actually could ever be that good. Regular good reviews are one thing but when you hear of stuff like, with this film for example, a FOUR MINUTE standing ovation, you must ask yourself, how much is hype? Can a film with such a small amount of buzz be received so well, especially by the Cannes crowd who provided that seemingly far-too-long ovation.

Mandy is what happens when you drop Nicolas Cage into a blender with a stack of Black Sabbath records, a Lovecraft paperback, and a fistful of bad acid, then hit purée.

Despite all my rage here’s a photo of Nicolas Cage

The film is set in 1983’s grimy backwoods America, the film follows Red Miller (Cage), a lumberjack whose quiet, secluded life with his partner Mandy (Andrea Riseburough) gets violently derailed by a gang of lunatic cultists and their demonic biker pals, led by the enigmatic Jeremiah Sand (Linus Roache).

The titular Mandy (Andrea Riseburough)

What starts as a slow-burn art-horror trip quickly mutates into a blood-soaked revenge rampage, as Red pulls out all stops, and everything with a blade on it, to destroy the cult.

Of course, as one would expect, Nic Cage is the utter highlight of this piece: madder than a cut snake and nuttier than squirrel poop, Red tears through the third act of this film… you know how people describe films with Cage going crazy as ‘he goes full Cage’… well that doesn’t even begin to describe this.

Being a Lovecraft and a comic fan, and an 80s kid as well, all I could see was that this film is simply dripping with cosmic dread and enough heavy metal iconography to melt your VHS collection. Director/ writer Panos Cosmatos (Beyond the Black Rainbow) directs like he’s channeling equal parts Argento, Moebius, and a stack of Fangoria and Heavy Metal mags through into a blender to create a papier mache nightmare. Every scene is a video portrait in black velvet in a basement drug den: it’s compelling on the eyes like some of Argento’s earlier work was.

The evil Jeremiah Sand (Linus Roache) is a neon nightmare

The soundtrack is also a revelation. Feeling like a lost Goblin score, it powers through the visuals with an audio that’s suits both the live-action and even more so, the Heavy Metal Movie styled animated sequence… did I not mention the animation? Yeah.

There’s animated sequences.

… and Bill Duke is in it! Bill FREAKIN’ Duke!! I mean I expected someone like Richard Brake (who plays a dealer known as The Chemist) to be in it, but Bill Duke?

So do I think it deserves a 4 minute ovation? Well, no. It’s a trippy film for sure, and it has the neon look that people seem to think is what the 80s was like (but it wasn’t), and that feels like it is little more than a distraction for a film that does little more that emulate 70s films like Last House on the Left but with a Suspiria palette. Honestly, I think I mould have given this film a higher score if it just told the story rather than force me to engage with the visuals.

The Bluray menu

Extras: There is a 22 minute behind the scenes featurette and whilst it is a touch masturbatory like many of these are (‘oh, so-and-so is so good’ etc), this really details why they are good. There is some really nice insights into the making of the film which is fantastic. There is a couple of fun outtakes as well.

There’s some deleted and extended scenes and as usual, the movie benefits from their removal. Not to say they are bad but they are unnecessary, though the scene with the sherif is uncomfortable.

There is trailers for Mandy, The Osiris Child, Swiss Army Man, Big Game and Upside Down.

Film: 6/10

Extras: 6/10

Rewatchability: 8/10

Axes: spit or swallow?

This film was purchased from JB Hifi

THE WICKER MAN (2006)

by in To Watch Pile and tagged , , , | Leave a comment

THE WICKER MAN (2006)

The Australian Bluray of The Wicker Mam

I used to be a massive proponent of the remake. From John Carpenter’s The Thing, to Chuck Russel’s The Blob, even stuff like the Robin Williams Flubber one, or the Nutty Professor starring Eddie Murphy… but that’s all changed, I’m afraid.

Once movie companies realised that something they had assumed all along, that cinema goers are idiots just dying to see not a good film, but a license they are familiar with, they started taking advantage. Disney are probably the main offenders with their live action remakes of their own animated properties, some which aren’t ’live action’ at all but there is such a glut of unnecessary remakes that between it, comic movies, Star Wars and movies based on books by Steven King, there is barely anything new at the cinema at all anymore.

The very worst of these, or at the very least, one of the films that features high in the list of the worst of these is Neil LaBute’s remake of Robin Hardy’s magnificent 1973 film The Wicker Man. In it’s defence, it is beautiful shot and the female cast are amazing, but Nicolas Cage’s role as the male lead feels like an invasion into quality.

Hang on, I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Cage as Edward Malus

The Wicker Man (2006) tells of police officer Edward Malus (Nicolas Cage) who has been invited by his ex-fiancée, Willow (Kate Beahan) to the island she lives on to investigate the disappearance of her daughter, Rohan (Erika-Shaye Gair). What he finds there though is a matriarchal cult that has an active disdain of his sex, and are very much in tune with the bees and their hives that they tend to upon the island.

Kate Beahan as Willow

He starts his investigation but more and more feels as though he is being deceived by the women, including Sister Beech (Diane Delano) who runs the inn, both Sisters Rose and Thorn (both played by Molly Parker) and after being stung by a bee, of which he is deathly allergic to, the local doctor, Dr. Moss (Francis Conroy).

He eventually gets to meet the one who is in charge of the island, Sister SummersIsle (Ellen Burstyn), but he feels even she is not being honest with him and they are all impeding his investigation.

Real or fantasy?

What is the secret of the island? Is he really there to investigate a girl’s disappearance or are more sinister plots at play?

This unfortunately, is the film that turned Cage from being a competent actor in roles suited to his acting style, to a meme, something he has more or less played off ever since… even to the point when I told non-horror fans of my intention to do this review, it was met with ‘The bees… THE BEEEEEEEEEES!!’ The meme-ification of Cage has even resulted in a film dedicated more-or-less to it in The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, a film that I feel pulls the piss out of Cage to his bare face.

He’s getting paid and he’s getting exposure so why would he be bothered by that?

In LaBute’s favour, as I previously stated, this film is beautifully shot and has some outstanding set pieces that are like paintings of midwestern American landscapes. He wrote and directed the film and some of the decisions made with the script just seemed ‘Hollywooded’ with romantic links rather than simply a police officer performing his duty. I guess with the policeman being particular to the states and having no power in a different state makes sense due to jurisdiction, but it feels ingenuous.

The story that LaBute has crafted is very much showing that Cage’s intrusion into the matriarchal society is not welcome certainly feels like a man has written something that is supposed to be perceived having some feminist roots, but at no point does it ring true, and in actual fact, the women of the island seem cruel in their command of the society rather than fair, and giving we the viewer no opportunity to be sympathetic.

I’m a fan of Nicolas Cage! Hell, I wouldn’t have a whole month dedicated to him on my site if I didn’t have some kind of affection for him, but I know that his acting style is all about hysteria. He’s the kooky-eyed madman in every film he’s in, that’s his schtick, but it’s hard to replace the pious subtlety of Edward Woodward’s performance from the first film in that manner. It’s not just that though; Woodward’s low-key performance would have worked here really well, but Cage’s performance is arrogant and unpleasant. He treats the entire populace of the island with utter disdain when it’s supposed to be suspicion. It just doesn’t work. LaBute’s intention was possibly to make him seem so intrusive but it comes across as unlikable and abrasive.

I can’t see in this film where my sympathy is supposed to lie: the suspicious and unlikable women of the island, the jerk stranger in a strange land or the poor child who has disappeared, who we don’t really get to know.

It’s at this stage I must point out how awfully obvious the use of the name ‘Malus’ is, both with its use of the ‘male’ sound and the fact that it’s Latin for ‘harmful’, and the hamfisted tribute to Edward Woodward in Malus’ first name and Willow’s surname. Unnecessary and, dare I say it, amateurish.

Sadly, this does nothing to defend the honour of good remakes, and is a terrible shame as there are some great opportunities for some great female characters that are just overwhelmed by Cage’s descent into an Instagram meme.

Menu Screen

Extras: A total of three extras on this disc.

Cast and Crew commentary is with LaBute, Lynette Meyer (Costume designer), Joel Plotch (Editor), Beahan and Sobieski. It’s a pretty thorough and interesting commentary. It is interesting insomuch as the unusual decisions that were made with character motivations and some other ideas that don’t work in the slightest.

Alternate ending. Meh.

There are also trailers for Ghost Rider and Perfect Stranger.

Film:2/10

Extras:

Rewatchability: 0/10

THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

Purchased from JB Hifi

HERETIC (2024)

by in To Watch Pile and tagged , | Leave a comment

HERETIC (2024)

The cover to the Australian Bluray

Religion has been a great source for horror films since the beginning of cinema itself. From Haxan to The Exorcist to Saint Maud, possession, demons, the devil and godly justice have been regular sources for religion to be inserted in the genre. Sometimes it’s seen favourable to religion and sometimes not, but even though as a society we seemingly become less religious, and those that are, becoming more diverse in their choice of religions, this type of horror still seems to be popular amongst the punters.

A lot of religious horror movies have a questioning of faith, or at the very least, a testing of, and this is probably where the popularity lies, as we as humans persistently question what we do, why we are doing it and what is actually ‘right’.

That testing of faith is exactly what Heretic is all about.

Sister Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Sister Paxton (Chloe East)

Heretic tells of two Mormon missionaries, Sister Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Sister Paxton (Chloe East) who are in town to spread the word of the Lord, but have a specific objective to visit Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant) who has enquired about the church.

Upon approaching the house, they are greeted by the man who promptly invites them in, assuring them that his wife is in the kitchen baking a pie for them to share and enjoy, and that she would be joining them later as she is shy around people she doesn’t know.

Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant)

The conversation immediately takes to the church and after a few difficult and awkward interactions, the girls realise that Mr. Reed may not be what he says he is, and that his interest in the church and even with God involve him challenging faith and the faithful, and may involve some experiments that he has been performing within his house… his house that has no phone reception, and time-locked doors, and difficult choices…

I thought this was a beautifully shot film with some amazing performances and one surprising one by Grant, who seems to be relishing the role, that may have been let down by a slightly soggy ending. Here’s the funny thing though: I don’t like it when people get really in depth on the ‘meaning’ behind a film and I find that usually I prefer a film to just entertain me based on what I see, and I don’t need subtext or whatever to further enjoy it… but this did made me stop and actually discuss the film with family and friends beyond my usual superficial viewing… which means I’m either getting older, smarter or more patient.

Time for a decision…

Either way, this film is great.

If I am to criticise the film at all, it is for a subplot with Topher Grace as an Elder of the church who is looking for the girls by retracing their steps which ends with a messy joke that I can’t figure out if it was a commentary of the church and its putting faith before the safety of its people, or if it was just a flippant moment to alleviate the tension, which to me, didn’t. It felt like a vaudevillian aside that if edited from the film, wouldn’t be missed.

Still, as I said, it is a small criticism of an other wise great film.

The menu screen for Heretic

Extras: There is only a director’s commentary on this disc by the directors and it’s a fascinating insight into the making of this film and their inspirations. I love commentaries that really unravel the thoughts behind the stories of films.

Film: 9/10

Extras: 7/10 (there’s only the commentary but it’s a solid one)

Rewatchability: 7/10

What is in Mr Reed’s basement?

This film was purchased from JB Hifi

ABIGAIL (2024)

by in To Watch Pile and tagged , , , | Leave a comment

ABIGAIL (2024)

The Australian Bluray release

I used to be a massive purchased of horror movie magazines. Over the years I’ve bought all of them: Famous Monsters, Fangoria, Rue Morgue, The Dark Side, Fear, Samhain, Deep Red… far to many to list, and these mags were my window into films that formed a list of stuff I wanted to see.

Tragically, in 2025, magazines have become an unobtainable product. Rue Morgue and Fangoria are almost $30 each; that MORE that the price of some blurays, and there are so many sales on blurays it makes them REALLY. REALLY. Expensive. So, even though I am an avid supporter of physical media over streaming, streaming can have its place. For me, it’s where I see films that I may choose to purchase later… it’s an audition process for my physical media collecting process. This film, Abigail, I first saw on Netflix, and actively pursued it on home video.

Abigail was written by Steven Shields (The Hole in the Ground) and Guy Busick (Ready or Not), and was directed by the duo of Tyler Gillette and Matt Bettinelli-Olpen, from the production company Radio Silence, who were also responsible for the brilliant Ready or Not and Screams V and VI.

Melissa Barrera as Joey

Abigail tells the story of a crew, Joey (Melissa Barrera) the medic, Frank (Dan Stevens) the brains, Rickles (William Catlett) the look out, Sammy (Kathryn Newton) the hacker, Peter (Kevin Durand) the muscle and Dean (Angus Cloud) the driver, hired by a fixer named Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito), to abduct a young girl named Abigail (Alisha Weir) for the reward of $7,000,000 each.

Giancarlo Esposito as Lambert

They have a problem though: Abigail is a vampire, and the gang are trapped in a house, with no phones and no internet. Can they survive, or will they turn on each other before Abigail can even get started on them.

Alisha Weir as Abigail

Normally in a review I’d try to resist spoiling main plot points, but Abigail’s secret is hardly a secret at all, especially when you consider that even the tagline suggests that ‘Children can be suck MONSTERS’. I must say I wish that I had not known the secret of the film and got the surprise that films like From Dusk til Dawn gave me. Normally I don’t care about spoiler but this would have been a nice but if fun.

This is essentially a modernised version of Dracula’s Daughter (1936), even giving the name ‘Lambert’ , the director of that film, to one of the characters. I don’t think I’ve seen the original so I can’t actually comment on any similarities but I can say that this film is a bunch of fun.

The actors playing the gang are so great in their roles, and the tension is palpable but the real highlight is Weir as Abigail. As a girl she’s fragile and delicate and after the reveal she is a scary as any monster in any monster movie, but without jingoistic catchphrases; she is just a deadly force to reckoned with dressed up in a 12 year old girl costume.

All in all, a fun film that, and this is contrary to almost everything I normally think, could be ripe for a sequel that pursues either Abigail’s lust for blood, or even Joey in her pursuit to destroy Abigail’s father… This was a marvellous film that proves that Radio Silence are amazing at what they do.

The Bluray menu screen

Extras: There’s a decent chunk of extras:

Deleted and Extended Scenes are, as is mostly true, better off not in the film. I still love that home video gives us the opportunity to see this stuff.

Gag Reel is, as usual, something that is probably more interesting for the cast and crew to reminisce on the fun days they had making the film. For us, it’s a curio, a distraction and little more.

Blood Bath takes a look at the amount of blood used in the filming of Abigail. I must admit that this is the generation of effects I really love: practical effects with just a touch of CGI to enhance it. The wonderful thing about this featurette is that everyone talks about how surprised by how much blood was used. Fantastic.

Hunters to Hunted looks at the design of the cast and how the directors fit them together, creating a world together.

Becoming a Ballerina Vampire is all about our titular beast, Abigail, and Alisha Weir who plays her so wonderfully.

Directing Duo Matt and Tyler unfortunately doesn’t discuss their history but does talk about the experience of making this film. I would have liked to have seen HOW two people direct a film together but as one would expect, it all relates to this film. My favourite line is that one of them says ‘we want to make movies WE like’ and I really LOVE that lack of cynicism.

Finally we have a commentary by Matt and Tyler, along with editor Michael P. Shawler, which doesn’t just talk about directorial decisions but also editorial choices. These people really love their jobs and it’s a great look at how important the roles are and how well Matt and Tyler work together.

Film: 7/10

Extras: 7/10

Rewatchability: 10/10

Head, you lose

This Bluray was purchased from JB Hifi

TAROT (2025)

by in To Watch Pile and tagged , , , | Leave a comment

TAROT (2025)

The Australian Bluray release of Tarot

Being an old fart means it is always with great trepidation that I approach a new horror movie! I have been fooled before by Conjurings, Insidiousness, Annabelles and Ouijas, but I am forever optimistic! Occasionally, a Sinister slips out from under the veil of utter tripe, and maybe, just maybe, Tarot will slide out with it.

Let us have a look see, shall we?

Tarot was written and directed by Anna Halberg and Spenser Cohen, and is based on the novel Horrorscope by Nicholas Adam’s, and tells the tale of a group of friend who have run out of alcohol whilst away for one of their birthdays. In searching the home they are staying at, they find a basement full of weird astrological stuff, amongst which they find a tarot deck packaged in a wooden box.

Classic ‘friends in distress’ shot

One of their crew, Hayley ( Harriet Slater) knows how to read peoples horoscopes with tarot cards and even though she should not do it, as it is not her deck, she proceeds to offer a fortune to all her friends.

The cursed deck

After they return home, they start to be picked off one by one in horrific ways, and so they search out advice from Alma (Olsen Fouéré) who had a similar thing happen to her years ago and has been searching for the cursed deck, the same one these friends have used, to destroy it.

Will they destroy it before it kills them all?

One of the terrifying beasties.

I have mixed feeling about this film. On one hand I am extraordinarily happy to see a new movie based on a book that doesn’t have the names ‘Stephen King’ next to it, and honestly I am not quite sure how closely the movie follows the plot of the book, but it does feel VERY generic as it riffs on several other horror movies. The ‘cursed thing’ in the basement like Evil Dead, the ‘something is trying to kill us’ like Final Destination, and even the design of the ‘things’ is a little Th13teen Ghosts’ for my liking… but somehow it works and doesn’t sufficiently entertain.

I think the thing that wins this over is the majority of the cast are quite likeable and over and above some silly dialogue moments, it seems to work quite well except for the presence of Spider-Man’s Jacob Batalon whose appearance does not sit well amongst the others, and he feels like a desperate ring-in to get views. Films have been doing this sort of thing for years so I appreciate why he would be employed in this film, but it almost feels like he is trying to hard. You know that guy who know who desperately wants to be part of the group and overcompensates? That guy.

I know this all sounds like I did not actually like the film but in actual fact I found it perfectly enjoyable and a nice little horror palate cleanser. Easy to watch and not to hard on the brain matter.

The menu screen from Tarot.

Extras: There are three extras on this disc each just going for a few minutes:

A Twist of Fate Making the Film is a very brief making of, just discussing the origins of the story.

A Circle of Friends looks at the cast and how they got on during the making of the film.

Killer Outtakes, like most outtakes, are probably funnier if you were a part of the team making the film.

Film: 6/10

Extras: 4/10

Rewatchability: 6/10

Good friends love to just hang.

This film was purchased from JB Hifi.

CLOWN IN A CORNFIELD (2025)

by in To Watch Pile | Leave a comment

CLOWN IN A CORNFIELD (2025)

The Australian Bluray cover

One of the things i like about social media is the ability to see how much people love a product they produced and continue to support it. As a writer, it’s extraordinarily hard to promote something you’ve produced because a lot of social media is a visual media rather than a literary one (yes, I’m aware that most posts have accompanying text but most people, me included, see it as supplemental to the story/ reel/ post etc). Writer have a tough job because a photo of their work, unless it’s published and the visual attraction of the cover is present, is difficult.

Unless you’re prepared to do that horrible thing of hustling, something I’m terrible at!

Adam Cesare, the writer of the novel Clown in a Cornfield and its two sequels, is amazing at it. His Instagram posts are full of his live appearances, the promotion of his work and the utter joy he has is seeing his words be made into living breathing creatures in this film, the aforementioned Clown in a Cornfield.

I have to have a brief aside here where I have to compliment Cesare on the title. It’s is so profoundly ridiculous but somehow instills terror. Clowns have, for a long time, been more associated with fear than fun, and the cornfield gives feelings of being lost. It’s so clever.

Quinn (Katie Douglas) and her father, Glenn (Aaron Abrams)

Clown in a Cornfield was directed by Eli Craig, a director who is responsible for a horror comedy that I rate quite highly, the wonderful and hilarious Tucker and Dale Vs Evil (2010). Now even though there is some levity in this film, it does have some fantastic gore and some genuine scares and shocks, which I really enjoyed!

Clown in a Cornfield tells of Quinn Maybrook (Katie Douglas) and her father, Glenn (Aaron Abrams) who have moved to the town of Kettle Springs, Missouri to help heal after the death of her mother, Samantha.

On her first day at school, Quinn is warned by a neighbour, Rust (Vincent Muller) about getting ‘in’ with the wrong kids, she immediately does, and those kids include Cole (Carson MacCormac), Janet (Cassandra Potenza), Ronnie (Verity Marks), Matt (Alexandre Martin Deakin) and Tucker ( Ayo Solanke), who have a bad reputation due to their YouTube videos where they make little horror movies about town legend, Frendo the Clown, a killer who stalks (excuse the pun) the cornfields in search of victims.

‘The Wrong Crowd’

Something the kids find own very quickly though is that Frendo is very real, and he’s very VERY upset with the youth of the town, and the killings begin, but who is it? Is Frendo a generational serial killer or is something more sinister?

Craig has done an amazing job with this film for a couple of reasons. The casting is fantastic, and there’s some nice shifting of romantic interests which whist may be a bit jarring to some, was quite organic, if not a little tropey. Craig also worked on the screenplay with Carter Blanchard and they took the source material and treated it with respect, especially when you consider the setting and feel of the book, and they also gave it a tidy 80s or 90s styled time of 96 or so minutes. A 4 hour action blockbuster full of superheroes and aliens may be ok, but sometimes a story can be over-told for no reason other than hubris, and this definitely wasn’t done here.

Frendo is ready to party

Back to the cast though, they are the driving force behind the story. Even though they also may fulfil some horror movies late-teen tropes, they are executed brilliantly (again excuse the pun). I have to admit that Kevin Durand, who I think is quite underrated, and Will Sasso were nice surprises in their roles as the mayor, and Cole’s father, and the town sheriff respectively.

The gore was surprising and so well done, and the costume design of Frendo looked amazing. It could have very easy been a copy of Pennywise, but seeing as how the characters origin was tied into the origin of the town, it had a really great mid-20th century circus vibe to it.

Whilst the film isn’t perfect, which is only due to some of the elements of the story which borrow elements from the absolute history of horror, there’s a lot to love. Recommended.

Menu screen for Clown in a Cornfield

Extras: Nothing at all, which is a shame considering Cesare’s consistent promotion on social media.

Film: 7/10

Extras: 0/10

Rewatchability: 9/10

Anyone have a band-aid?

This movie was purchased from Jb Hifi