BATMAN RETURNS (1992)

BATMAN RETURNS (1992)

The cover to the Batman Returns Bluray

These young Marvel whippersnappers in the 21st Millennium really have no understanding of what a phenomena the first Tim Burton Batman film. Everyone, and I mean everyone, had Batman merch. Pop culture today wouldn’t be where it is because this Batman film legitimised the superhero as something other than a thing that kids consumed.

Sure the marketing that supports films like Avengers and Spiderman are like that now, and the #release the Snyder cut was a social media sensation, but when this film came out there wasn’t social media, so all the Batman hype was word of mouth supported by the single striking image of Batman’s emblem.

Michael Keaton as the Bat

Of course, it’s crazy popularity spawned a sequel and just like Die Hard, Batman Returns is an even split action film and Christmas movie.

As I side note, the early 90s were such a dry time for horror and the promise of a Batman character on the cover of a magazine meant that even Fangoria, the cornerstone of all things horror at the time, put the Penguin on the cover in an attempt to garnish an increase in sales.

What was Batman’s latest adventure, well, hold onto your cowls!

Gotham City is thrown into chaos during the Christmas season when a deformed outcast known as the Penguin (Danny DeVito) emerges from the sewers, seeking revenge against the society that rejected him. Aligning himself with corrupt tycoon Max Shreck (Christopher Walken), the Penguin launches a campaign to become mayor while secretly plotting to destroy the city’s children. Meanwhile, Shreck’s timid secretary Selina Kyle Michelle Pfeiffer) is transformed into the vengeful Catwoman after a near‑death experience, setting her on a collision course with both Shreck and Batman (Michael Keaton), who has already been dealing with problems caused by the Curcus of Crime.

As Batman struggles to protect Gotham, he faces the dual threat of Penguin’s monstrous schemes and Catwoman’s unpredictable vendetta. The battle culminates in a showdown beneath the city, where alliances unravel, identities are exposed, and Gotham’s fate hangs in the balance.

Michelle Pfeiffer as The Cat

As with the previous film, the look of this is something of a visual feast. Every look created in the first film by Anton Furst and Tim Burton was built upon to create an even more obtuse and impossibly gothic city.

The costume design reflects this as well. It’s this amazing mix of bondage gear and 19th century attire all via a mid 80s London gothic nightclub. The amazing thing is how all the costumes really reflect the inner workings of the characters, from the Penguin’s need to be accepted with his attempt an finery, to Catwoman’s fractured state and her badly stitched outfit that slowly falls apart as she descends more and more into madness.

Danny DeVito as The Bird

Keaton still somehow kicks butt as Batman too. I must admit to being a hater of the idea of Mr Mom being the Bat in the first film but I was very quickly swayed by his performance, and it continues here.

I do have one massive problem with this film and it’s something that many superhero films do now, and that is they suffer from T.M.V.S.: Too Many Villain Syndrome and it makes the story a bit of a trial to keep tabs on all that’s going on. With a big team movie like The Avengers, that’s ok, but when it’s essentially one guy… and I reckon Batman works best as one guy… against so many villains with their multiple plots, it becomes muddy and the prime villain seems less of a threat.

Like many sequels, this film is nowhere as good as the first, but it’s still entertaining and a feast for the eyes.

The very stacked menu screen

Extras: Extras? You want Extras, you say? Well sit down and get ready for this cavalcade of stuff, and I’d just like to point out that this comes from a time when extras weren’t a couple of five minutes ‘behind the scenes’ stuff and a gag reel that clearly has nothing funny happen in it, and it’s generally the best acting any of the actors do with the film. I’ll also point out that on this disc a lot of the extras were shot on videotape so they look like shit.

There’s a Commentary by Tim Burton which are great to listen to as his love of the creative process is evident.

The Bat, The Cat and The Penguin is a behind the scenes look at the making of the film with interviews dozens with cast and crew.

Shadows of the Bat Part 4: Dark Side of the Night is the 4th part of a Batman documentary series that went across the Bluray releases for Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Forever and Batman and Robin. Really fascinating and altogether a real complete look at these four films. I will admit the best parts are the Joel Schumacher parts on the next two discs as the describe what a clusterfuck this franchise became when they realised what a marketing minefield it was.

Batman: The Heroes including Batman and Alfred, and The Villains, including The Penguin, Catwoman and Max Schreck are short dissections of the characters of the film by various writers and creators.

Gotham City Revisited is a fascinating look at the production design of the film.

Sleek, Sexy and Sinister is a fantastic look at the amazing costumes of the film.

Making up The Penguin looks at DeVito’s make up as this deplorable horror show that in the Penguin.

Assembling the Arctic Army discusses the wrangling and complicated methods needed to assemble the Penguin army.

Bats, Mattes and Dark Nights disassembles the special effects of the film.

Inside the Elfman Studiotalks to Danny Elfman about the music of the film, and I’m a big Oingo Boingo fan so I’m always happy to see interviews with him.

There is also the film clip for Face to Face by Siouxsie and the Banshees and, of course, and Theatrical Trailer… phew!

Film: 7/10

Extras: 8/10

Rewatchability: 8/10

Christopher Walken as Max Shrek

This Bluray was purchased from JB Hifi

THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE (2016)

THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE (2016)

The cover to the UK release of the film

I need to start the review with a caveat: I’m not really a fan of this type of supernatural film. The Conjuring universe may be the highest grossing horror franchise of all times… but I don’t rate it. I’m not someone who enjoys a supernatural ‘ghostly’ tale. I like my horror more grounded in a physicality of reality rather than a metaphysical one. I like my slashers and my zombies and my monsters but tales about ghosts, well, I’m not one to actively seek them out unless they are well made, or with actors that I like.

That being said, however, and sadly I’m burying the lead here, I think this film is an absolute, top-level, corker of a supernatural ghostly film. Ten out of ten, nothing else to write, amazing flick, everyone must watch.

… oh, you’re still here? You want a ‘proper’ review of a film I’m obviously going to gush all over. Ok then…

‘Jane Doe’ (Olwen Catherine Kelly) is found

The Autopsy of Jane Doe was written by Ian Goldberg and Richard Naing who wrote the screenplay for Eli and The Nun II, but do not judge this film by those credentials. It was directed by André Øvredal, who blasted out of the gates with the well-regarded Trollhunter (2010), and also gave us the wonderful Scary Tales to Tell in the Dark (2019). Øvredal had seen The (aforementioned) Conjuring and asked his manger to find him a script with a similar old school supernatural feel, and this amazing horror film was born.

Emile Hirsch as Austin

The Autopsy of Jane Doe tells of father and son morticians, Tommy (Brian Cox) and Austin (Emile Hirsch) Tilden who have finished their grisly but necessary work for the day, and Austin is about to head out with his date, Emma (Ophelia Lovibond) when the town sheriff, Burke (Michael McElhatten) turns up with a late emergency autopsy.

On a gurney is the corpse of Jane Doe (Olwen Catherine Kelly), found half-buried in the basement of a house that had other corpses in it, but her body has no signed of any trauma, until the two start the autopsy, and find many mysteries surrounding her.

Emma (Ophelia Lovibond) and Tommy (Brian Cox)

What’s stranger though, is the unusual happenings around them: mysterious figures, the weather suddenly changing… but what is going on?

Watch it and find out!

The relationship between Cox and Hirsch’s characters really make this film. They really do feel like a father and son team, and it’s not just saying the word ‘Dad’, it’s subtle motions and expressions that really feel real.

Øvredal’s direction is magnificent. The mystery of Jane Doe’s corpse is so slowly revealed, and is so preposterous but somehow it never becomes ridiculous. The whole thing is played so strictly straight that at no time are you inclined to find any of it amusing. Throughout it bucks trends and tortures us with expectations that either don’t pay off, or pay off differently than you expect.

One can’t talk about this film without mentioning Kelly’s performances as the corpse as well. Kelly is a stunning woman and is naked and immobile through the entire thing, but also is in no way alluring. The dichotomy of this exposure to appealing nudity that has no appeal due to whatever it is that stops it… we know she’s not a corpse, right, so that can’t be it! Øvredal talks about how impressed he was with her performances, and the courage any woman would have being naked every day for 5 weeks amongst all the people required to make a film.

The only other time I’ve seen something like this in a film was Mathilda May in Lifeforce.

Basically, I can’t recommend this film enough. I think it’s not just one of the best post-millenium horror films, but it’s also one of the best horror films ever, and when you consider I don’t rate supernatural ghostly films, that’s the highest praise I can offer.

The menu screen for the UK release

Extras: This UK Bluray release of the film only has one extra and it only goes for 5 minutes but that’s far and away ahead of Umbrella Entertainment’s bareass DVD release here in Australia. We have here on this disc is an interview by Alan Jones (no, not Australia’s Alan Jones, the good one from the UK) with André Øvredal, where they discuss casting and all of that sort of stuff… well, as much as 5 minutes allows, anyway.

Film: 10/10

Extras: 3/10

Rewatchability: 10/10

The corpse of Jane Doe

This Bluray was purchased from an EBay reseller.

Girls Nite Out aka The Scaremaker (1982)

Girls Nite Out aka The Scaremaker (1982)

The cover to Arrow Video’s bluray release

When you watch a lot of horror… too much? No, never… but a LOT of horror, especially stuff from back in the 80s, when you get to my age, the memory gets fuzzy and you can’t quite remember if you have seen stuff or not.

Now I am sure I saw a cover of a VHS of The Scaremaker, and the villain of the piece looks VERY familiar, but I’m just not sure if I have ACTUALLY seen this or not. I don’t think I saw the VHS cover in person though, it may have been in a magazine or something.

This film was directed by Robert Duebel who other than some American Playhouse stuff, didn’t seem to stay in genre filmmaking which honestly, and I’m burying the lead here some what, is probably for the best.

Lynn (Julia Montgomery) looks on in amusement

Every year at Dewitt College (played by Upsala College in New Jersey which closed in 1995… probably out of embarrassment), the sorority houses engage in a scavenger hunt the night after the basketball team win their championship game, and this year is no different!

The girls are looking forward to a lot of fun, and our tale follows Lynn (Julia Montgomery), Dawn (Suzanne Barnes), Sheila (Lauren-Marie Taylor), Jane (Laura Summer) and Kathy (Carrick Glenn), amongst others on the hunt but what they don’t realise is that they are being stalked by a manic who is dressed in a modified version of the school mascot, a bear… with knives installed in its paws.

Who will survive? Is it gory? Is nudity involved? Will we be entertained?

Carrick Glenn: what happened to you?

Ok, so I won’t answer the first question for spoiler reasons, but the answer to the last three questions is n not really, no and probably not.

This film does have a bit of blood in it and the killers costume, whilst clunky, is a standout, though probably impractical. It’s does not have the 80s slasher trope of nudity, which is unusual, and made even more weird by the slutty behaviour of some of the characters: you know what I mean, those female characters who usually flash, put out and then become victims. Right or wrong is not what I’m judging here, I’m just saying it’s an odd trend buck for the period of slasher films.

The janitor is going to be disappointed with the state of the locker room

Now the Bluray does make reference to the multiple sources to make this ‘complete’ version but whether it was the filmmaking or Arrow Videos sources, I found the film to be FAR to dark and some points. I also have to say it took me several goes to get through the film as I found myself getting bored through it. Actually, I did have fun spotting actors from other films that didn’t go on to become big names, and I was constantly saying stuff like ‘that’s the guy from Creepshow 2!

Girls Nite Out is strange in that it feels like a slasher made for or by Christian Television; there is this weird ‘nice’ vibe about it. Now I understand that ‘nice’ isn’t an insult in general, but it is meant as one here. This film commits the biggest crime a film can make; it’s just boring.

At least it had Carrick Glenn in it who I loved in The Burning.

The Arrow Video Bluray menu screen

Extras: It’s Arrow Video so of course there is a fine bunch of extras on this disc.

Commentary by Justin Karswell and Amanda Reyes

Staying Alive is an interview with actress Julie Montgomery who played Lynn Conners. She talks about her acting and modelling history and is delightfully animated and really engaging. A great interview.

A Savage Mauling is an interview with Laura Summer who played Jane. More fun recollections of the making of the film.

Alone in the Dark is another interview, this time with Lois Robbin’s who played Leslie Peterson. As above, so below.

It Was A Party! is yet another interview but this time with Paul Christie, who played Dancer, still more recollections and career reviews.

Love & Death is yet ANOTHER interview but with Lauren-Marie Taylor and John Didrichson, who played Sheila and Ralph respectively.

These interviews were great but the absence of Carrick Glenn, my favourite of this film and of the film The Burning, was disappointing!

Archival Interview is another interview with Julie Montgomery but from several years ago. More of the same, really.

Alternate Title Card shows the beginning but with The Scaremaker title card instead.

Original trailers gives us both a Girls Nite Out and a The Scaremaker trailer. The Girls Nite Out trailer is a bizarre thing as it features someone not in the film, talking about being scared.

Film: 3/10

Extras: 8/10

Rewatchability: 1/10, unless like me you couldn’t get through it in one go.

The man versus bear debate was never more real

This Bluray was purchased from Metal Movies

MADHOUSE aka THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL (1981)

MADHOUSE (1981)

The cover to Arrow Video’s release of Madhouse

There was a little girl who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good,

And when she was bad, she was horrid.

This is the poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow that Ovidio G. Assonitis (Man from Deep River) developed into a script, initially with Roberto Gandus (Macabre) until creative differences split them and it went to Stephen Blakely (his only credit according to IMDB) to finish. Assonitis also took on the role of director for this film.

Patricia Mickey as Julie Sullivan

Madhouse, aka There was A little Girl, is probably better known as one of the films on the 39 notorious prosecuted Video Nasty films in the UK in 1984, along with better known films as I Spit on Your Grave and Last House on the Left. There’s an amazing documentary about these films by Jake West called Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship and Videotape from 2010 which really digs into the nitty gritty of the whole time which I can’t recommend enough! There’s also a sequel which furthers the history called Video Nasties: Draconian Days, also worth a watch.

Madhouse tells the tale of Julia Sullivan (Patricia Mickey) is a young and successful schoolteacher at a school for the deaf, living in Savannah, Georgia. As her birthday approaches, she’s haunted by the traumatic memories of her childhood and her violent, disturbed twin sister, Mary (Allison Biggers). The two were inseparable as children until Mary’s increasingly erratic behavior, included cruel violence and resentment towards her sister, led to her being institutionalised.

Enter porno-stached male lead, Sam (Michael MacRae)

Years later, Julia learns that Mary has escaped from the asylum.

Suddenly, people close to Julia begin turning up dead in brutal ways. As Julia’s sanity begins to unravel, she’s drawn into a terrifying game of cat and mouse, where family secrets, religious guilt, and deep psychological scars collide in a house filled with darkness.

In the final, twisted confrontation, Julia must face not only her deranged sister but the truth about her past—and survive a birthday she’ll never forget…

My first question is… how the heck have I never seen this film? It reminds me of The Burning in so much as it ignores the standard tropes of the slasher films that, at the time of release, were becoming popular and did something a little different. The story is engaging and interesting and the cast are great.

Seriously, don’t trust a dog in a horror movie

I understand why it was a video nasty as it has come violence against children and some animal cruelty, even though the animal is obviously fake, so be warned if that sort of stuff effects your enjoyment.

Not me though, I loved it. I’m sure it’s going to become a regular on my movie rewatch rotation!

The menu screen for the Madhouse Bluray

Extras: Arrow Video consistently provide good extras and this disc is no exception!

Audio Commentary with The Hysteria Continues

Running the Madhouse is an interview with Edith Ivey, who played Amantha (come on, is it Samantha or Amanda: pick a lane), the landlord in the film. There is some very nice recollections on the making of the film and the language issues between cast and crew.

Framing Fear is an interview with cinematographer Roberto D’Ettorre Piazzoli and he goes through his career and the making of Madhouse.

Ovidio Nasty talks about the film and the response in the UK in 1984.

Alternate Opening Titles and Original Trailer are nice additions.

Film: 8/10

Extras: 7/10

Rewatchability: 8/10

Worst black eye I’ve ever seen!

Purchased from Metal Movies on eBay

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT (2022)

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT (2022)

The cover to the Australian 4K release

One cannot merely walk into Nic-toberfest without discussing a film that is a love letter to the actor himself. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent is unusual in so much as it’s not an ego piece because initially when writer/ director Tom Gormican and writer Kevin Etten, he rejected it hard, and it wasn’t until he received a letter from Etten declaring it wasn’t a skit or an insult, it was a dedicated love letter to the man and his career, and that he wasn’t essentially playing himself, he was playing a version of himself: ‘Nick Cage’.

Nic Cage as the Meme Nick Cage

Note the spelling.

This whole Nic-toberfest that I run here on Digital Retribtuion is a tribute to Cage, and his 40 years in cinema . I know he has become a meme from this film, and people love the 1990 appearance on Wogan in the UK where he cartwheels into the show, karate kicks and throws money into the audience, but he’s made such a variety of hits and misses that he’s always entertaining, and aren’t we entertained by him no matter how bad the film is?!? Cage is a fan of the creative arts and I do admire his love dearly, and I hope I am able to maintain my love of pop culture the way he has.

Anyway, enough fanboying… and let’s review a film all about fanboying!

Nick Cage (Nicolas Cage) is having lots of trouble in his life; he can’t get work, and his daughter, Addy (Lily Mo Sheen), thinks he is an idiot… teenagers, right? He has decided to quit acting but is taking one last job of going to a birthday party, offered to him by his agent, Richard Fink (Neil Patrick Harris) for a fee of $1,000,000 which will round up his outstanding bills.

Pedro Pascal as the Meme Javi

This last gig is at the property of Javi Gutierrez (Pedro Pascal), who has written a script for him and is disturbed by his announcement of retirement. Before he goes to the property though, a fan at the airport, Vivian (Tiffany Haddish), slips a device into his pocket, and very quickly, Nick is involved in a plot involving American government agents and arms dealers.

I normally hate this kind of stuff, and that’s not to say I don’t love a good comedy, but this meta/ written by the internet/ meme-ish junk I just find stupid. That being said, I may have been bitten by The Machine with Burt Kreischer and Mark Hamill, which was the first film I saw at the cinema after the COVID lockdowns.

Nic Cage as Nicky

Covid was easy, that film made me hate cinema for about 6 months.

The thing that is fun about this film is is that it’s the bastard son of a romantic comedy (Cage’s and Pascal’s bromance) and a spy thriller, with a dash of mystery thrown in. Cage is clearly playing a parody of himself, and the appearance of his Id (or is it Ego, I can never remember) in the form of Nicky, him playing a younger arrogant version of himself, is hilarious and responsible for a scene that finally made me understand what ‘the Ick’ is.

… and if you think Cage’s performances are over the top, he exceeds himself here, and is matched beautifully by the insanity that is Pedro Pascal’s performance. Pascal plays the self-spoilt brat fan with so much gusto that it’s hard to remember his reserved performance as Din Djarin in Disney’s The Mandalorian. The scene of them dropping acid together is both ridiculous and fun at the same time.

Honestly, these over the top antics are replicated by many of the other cast as well, with Sharon Horgan as his ex-wife, and the aforementioned Sheen being the anchors in reality, giving the over the top performances an opportunity to really be silly and fun.

Here’s the problem though; I enjoyed some of the scenes, I thought the bromance was amusing, and recognising the meme in cinema form (you know the one, with Cage and a pascal looking at each other in a car) was fun, but essentially, it’s totally disposable. The script can’t exist without Cage, and I’m sure the other actors would not have been involved if Cage hadn’t put his hand up to do it, which he didn’t want to at first.

There’s some great stunts, a few funny moments but it is unnecessarily far too long. It’s a 90 minute script milked to almost 2 and a half hours, which it certainly did NOT need to be.

I’m a big Cage fan, obviously (it’s why Nic-toberfest exists!) but this doesn’t sit well with me much at all.

The menu screen for the Australian 4K release

Extras: A decent bunch of extras on this 4k disc.

Audio commentary and Deleted scenes (with optional commentary) by Gormican and Etten are certainly a love letter to Cage and cinema in general.

The Mind discusses Gormican and Etten’s ideas for a film where Nic Cage plays the actor Nick Cage, and selecting the other cast for the project.

Glimmers of a Bygone Age looks into the recreation of some of Cage’s older performances.

Everybody Needs a Javi investigates Pascal’s portrayal of Javi.

Nick, Nicky and Sergio looks into the idea of Nicky: the ultimate version of Cage that acts as his conscious? Advisor? It’s probably a Jiminy Cricket role. Sergio is a role he plays within the film who is a mafioso, and is a ball of fun as well.

Second Act Action is all about the stunts, and it’s always interesting to watch this sort of stuff.

Cages 5 and Up looks at a bunch of kids acting as Cage. The one doing ‘THE BEES!!’ Is gold.

SXSW Film Festival Q&A is a 15 minute Q&A after the screening of the film.

You can also weirdly set bookmarks on the disc and find them here… does anyone still do that?

Film: 4/10

Extras: 10/10

Rewatchability: 2/10

A lump of wax as Nic Cage

This film was purchased from JB Hifi

8MM (1999)

The Australian Cinema Cult release of 8MM

8MM (1999)

You know how sometimes you watch a film and think what an absolute classic it is and wonder why it doesn’t get more respect? This is how I feel about this film, 8MM from 1999.

8MM is written by Andrew Kevin Walker, who also wrote Se7en and in my opinion, sits neatly next to that film in its story and quality of thrills. Maybe it doesn’t get the credit it deserves because it has Nicolas Cage instead of Brad Pitt as its lead, and Joachim Phoenix instead of Morgan Freeman, and in 1999 is was before Phoenix got his academy award, lending him ‘legitimacy’, and before Cage became everyone’s favourite meme for the Wicker Man… ‘the bees… THE BEEEEESSSSSSSS’.

This is the weird thing about this film is whilst it should be a A thriller, it feels like a B movie, which is something I believe Joel Schumacher (The Lost Boys), the director, was vying for: the sleazy subject matter perhaps deserved to be sleazy in its presentation. Probably a smart artistic decision but maybe it’s one of the reason why it’s not necessary regarded as highly as Se7en or Silence of the Lambs.

Nic Cage as Tom Welles

8MM tells of private investigator Tom Welles (Nicolas Cage) who is hired by Mrs Christian (Myra Carter), a millionaire’s widow, to inventive an 8MM film found amongst his belongings in a safe I his office. The contents of this film are that of a young girl being brutalised and murdered, and Mrs Christian wants to be assured that the film isn’t real.

Joaquin Phoenix as Max Californian

This leads Welles to getting assistance from porno shop worker Max California (Joaquin Phoenix) who takes him to the dark side of underground porno films, where he meets the likes of adult film star procurer Eddie Poole (James Gandolfini), porno Star Machine (Chris Bauer) and pornographer Dino Velvet (Peter Stormare), but will he find out the truth, or will he be drawn into a web of sleaze from which he may never return?

Jenny Powell as Mary Ann Mathew’s

Thrillers for me are just as important as horror, and I love a bit of crime/ gumshoe styled stuff as well… all these things are in a Venn diagram that has Giallo in the centre so I guess that makes sense. This film is a high point of crime and thriller and a massive dollop of noir within it as well.

Schumacher really shows just how accomplished a filmmaker he is with this film as it shows the personalities of the various cities and their population. He shows the underside of the porn world and the filming gets dirtier and dirtier as it goes on. Spectacular to watch. What I also really love is the fact that when we get to the end of the film and the ‘monster’ is revealed, its presented as a final scene in a Universal monster pic.

Walker’s script is solid too, and I reckon just as fine a pic as the aforementioned Se7en. In actual fact, I tend to hit a trilogy of films when I watch this, 8MM, Se7en and Silence of the Lambs. Three amazing thrillers that I reckon are all as good as each other but have various levels of respect from film fans and critics, 8MM being the embarrassing little brother who gets drunk before everyone else.

I really do think this film is high quality, even though it’s described as being to sleazy and predictable, of which the latter I don’t find to be true. Cage is really good in this as are the rest of the cast, even though the pornographers may be charactatures of those types of people were like in the 90s: I have no point of reference

I think it is definitely worth a revisit if you have not seen it in a while. Considering the advances in technology, the story still holds up nicely.

The menu screen for the film

Extras:

Just a little 5 minute making-of that was not really worth my 5 minutes.

Film:9/10

Extras: 2/10

Rewatchability: 10/10

Peter Stormare as Dino Velvet

This Bluray was purchased from JB HiFi

THE WICKER MAN (2006)

THE WICKER MAN (2006)

The Australian Bluray of The Wicker Mam

I used to be a massive proponent of the remake. From John Carpenter’s The Thing, to Chuck Russel’s The Blob, even stuff like the Robin Williams Flubber one, or the Nutty Professor starring Eddie Murphy… but that’s all changed, I’m afraid.

Once movie companies realised that something they had assumed all along, that cinema goers are idiots just dying to see not a good film, but a license they are familiar with, they started taking advantage. Disney are probably the main offenders with their live action remakes of their own animated properties, some which aren’t ’live action’ at all but there is such a glut of unnecessary remakes that between it, comic movies, Star Wars and movies based on books by Steven King, there is barely anything new at the cinema at all anymore.

The very worst of these, or at the very least, one of the films that features high in the list of the worst of these is Neil LaBute’s remake of Robin Hardy’s magnificent 1973 film The Wicker Man. In it’s defence, it is beautiful shot and the female cast are amazing, but Nicolas Cage’s role as the male lead feels like an invasion into quality.

Hang on, I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Cage as Edward Malus

The Wicker Man (2006) tells of police officer Edward Malus (Nicolas Cage) who has been invited by his ex-fiancée, Willow (Kate Beahan) to the island she lives on to investigate the disappearance of her daughter, Rohan (Erika-Shaye Gair). What he finds there though is a matriarchal cult that has an active disdain of his sex, and are very much in tune with the bees and their hives that they tend to upon the island.

Kate Beahan as Willow

He starts his investigation but more and more feels as though he is being deceived by the women, including Sister Beech (Diane Delano) who runs the inn, both Sisters Rose and Thorn (both played by Molly Parker) and after being stung by a bee, of which he is deathly allergic to, the local doctor, Dr. Moss (Francis Conroy).

He eventually gets to meet the one who is in charge of the island, Sister SummersIsle (Ellen Burstyn), but he feels even she is not being honest with him and they are all impeding his investigation.

Real or fantasy?

What is the secret of the island? Is he really there to investigate a girl’s disappearance or are more sinister plots at play?

This unfortunately, is the film that turned Cage from being a competent actor in roles suited to his acting style, to a meme, something he has more or less played off ever since… even to the point when I told non-horror fans of my intention to do this review, it was met with ‘The bees… THE BEEEEEEEEEES!!’ The meme-ification of Cage has even resulted in a film dedicated more-or-less to it in The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, a film that I feel pulls the piss out of Cage to his bare face.

He’s getting paid and he’s getting exposure so why would he be bothered by that?

In LaBute’s favour, as I previously stated, this film is beautifully shot and has some outstanding set pieces that are like paintings of midwestern American landscapes. He wrote and directed the film and some of the decisions made with the script just seemed ‘Hollywooded’ with romantic links rather than simply a police officer performing his duty. I guess with the policeman being particular to the states and having no power in a different state makes sense due to jurisdiction, but it feels ingenuous.

The story that LaBute has crafted is very much showing that Cage’s intrusion into the matriarchal society is not welcome certainly feels like a man has written something that is supposed to be perceived having some feminist roots, but at no point does it ring true, and in actual fact, the women of the island seem cruel in their command of the society rather than fair, and giving we the viewer no opportunity to be sympathetic.

I’m a fan of Nicolas Cage! Hell, I wouldn’t have a whole month dedicated to him on my site if I didn’t have some kind of affection for him, but I know that his acting style is all about hysteria. He’s the kooky-eyed madman in every film he’s in, that’s his schtick, but it’s hard to replace the pious subtlety of Edward Woodward’s performance from the first film in that manner. It’s not just that though; Woodward’s low-key performance would have worked here really well, but Cage’s performance is arrogant and unpleasant. He treats the entire populace of the island with utter disdain when it’s supposed to be suspicion. It just doesn’t work. LaBute’s intention was possibly to make him seem so intrusive but it comes across as unlikable and abrasive.

I can’t see in this film where my sympathy is supposed to lie: the suspicious and unlikable women of the island, the jerk stranger in a strange land or the poor child who has disappeared, who we don’t really get to know.

It’s at this stage I must point out how awfully obvious the use of the name ‘Malus’ is, both with its use of the ‘male’ sound and the fact that it’s Latin for ‘harmful’, and the hamfisted tribute to Edward Woodward in Malus’ first name and Willow’s surname. Unnecessary and, dare I say it, amateurish.

Sadly, this does nothing to defend the honour of good remakes, and is a terrible shame as there are some great opportunities for some great female characters that are just overwhelmed by Cage’s descent into an Instagram meme.

Menu Screen

Extras: A total of three extras on this disc.

Cast and Crew commentary is with LaBute, Lynette Meyer (Costume designer), Joel Plotch (Editor), Beahan and Sobieski. It’s a pretty thorough and interesting commentary. It is interesting insomuch as the unusual decisions that were made with character motivations and some other ideas that don’t work in the slightest.

Alternate ending. Meh.

There are also trailers for Ghost Rider and Perfect Stranger.

Film:2/10

Extras:

Rewatchability: 0/10

THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

Purchased from JB Hifi

HERETIC (2024)

HERETIC (2024)

The cover to the Australian Bluray

Religion has been a great source for horror films since the beginning of cinema itself. From Haxan to The Exorcist to Saint Maud, possession, demons, the devil and godly justice have been regular sources for religion to be inserted in the genre. Sometimes it’s seen favourable to religion and sometimes not, but even though as a society we seemingly become less religious, and those that are, becoming more diverse in their choice of religions, this type of horror still seems to be popular amongst the punters.

A lot of religious horror movies have a questioning of faith, or at the very least, a testing of, and this is probably where the popularity lies, as we as humans persistently question what we do, why we are doing it and what is actually ‘right’.

That testing of faith is exactly what Heretic is all about.

Sister Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Sister Paxton (Chloe East)

Heretic tells of two Mormon missionaries, Sister Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Sister Paxton (Chloe East) who are in town to spread the word of the Lord, but have a specific objective to visit Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant) who has enquired about the church.

Upon approaching the house, they are greeted by the man who promptly invites them in, assuring them that his wife is in the kitchen baking a pie for them to share and enjoy, and that she would be joining them later as she is shy around people she doesn’t know.

Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant)

The conversation immediately takes to the church and after a few difficult and awkward interactions, the girls realise that Mr. Reed may not be what he says he is, and that his interest in the church and even with God involve him challenging faith and the faithful, and may involve some experiments that he has been performing within his house… his house that has no phone reception, and time-locked doors, and difficult choices…

I thought this was a beautifully shot film with some amazing performances and one surprising one by Grant, who seems to be relishing the role, that may have been let down by a slightly soggy ending. Here’s the funny thing though: I don’t like it when people get really in depth on the ‘meaning’ behind a film and I find that usually I prefer a film to just entertain me based on what I see, and I don’t need subtext or whatever to further enjoy it… but this did made me stop and actually discuss the film with family and friends beyond my usual superficial viewing… which means I’m either getting older, smarter or more patient.

Time for a decision…

Either way, this film is great.

If I am to criticise the film at all, it is for a subplot with Topher Grace as an Elder of the church who is looking for the girls by retracing their steps which ends with a messy joke that I can’t figure out if it was a commentary of the church and its putting faith before the safety of its people, or if it was just a flippant moment to alleviate the tension, which to me, didn’t. It felt like a vaudevillian aside that if edited from the film, wouldn’t be missed.

Still, as I said, it is a small criticism of an other wise great film.

The menu screen for Heretic

Extras: There is only a director’s commentary on this disc by the directors and it’s a fascinating insight into the making of this film and their inspirations. I love commentaries that really unravel the thoughts behind the stories of films.

Film: 9/10

Extras: 7/10 (there’s only the commentary but it’s a solid one)

Rewatchability: 7/10

What is in Mr Reed’s basement?

This film was purchased from JB Hifi

ABIGAIL (2024)

ABIGAIL (2024)

The Australian Bluray release

I used to be a massive purchased of horror movie magazines. Over the years I’ve bought all of them: Famous Monsters, Fangoria, Rue Morgue, The Dark Side, Fear, Samhain, Deep Red… far to many to list, and these mags were my window into films that formed a list of stuff I wanted to see.

Tragically, in 2025, magazines have become an unobtainable product. Rue Morgue and Fangoria are almost $30 each; that MORE that the price of some blurays, and there are so many sales on blurays it makes them REALLY. REALLY. Expensive. So, even though I am an avid supporter of physical media over streaming, streaming can have its place. For me, it’s where I see films that I may choose to purchase later… it’s an audition process for my physical media collecting process. This film, Abigail, I first saw on Netflix, and actively pursued it on home video.

Abigail was written by Steven Shields (The Hole in the Ground) and Guy Busick (Ready or Not), and was directed by the duo of Tyler Gillette and Matt Bettinelli-Olpen, from the production company Radio Silence, who were also responsible for the brilliant Ready or Not and Screams V and VI.

Melissa Barrera as Joey

Abigail tells the story of a crew, Joey (Melissa Barrera) the medic, Frank (Dan Stevens) the brains, Rickles (William Catlett) the look out, Sammy (Kathryn Newton) the hacker, Peter (Kevin Durand) the muscle and Dean (Angus Cloud) the driver, hired by a fixer named Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito), to abduct a young girl named Abigail (Alisha Weir) for the reward of $7,000,000 each.

Giancarlo Esposito as Lambert

They have a problem though: Abigail is a vampire, and the gang are trapped in a house, with no phones and no internet. Can they survive, or will they turn on each other before Abigail can even get started on them.

Alisha Weir as Abigail

Normally in a review I’d try to resist spoiling main plot points, but Abigail’s secret is hardly a secret at all, especially when you consider that even the tagline suggests that ‘Children can be suck MONSTERS’. I must say I wish that I had not known the secret of the film and got the surprise that films like From Dusk til Dawn gave me. Normally I don’t care about spoiler but this would have been a nice but if fun.

This is essentially a modernised version of Dracula’s Daughter (1936), even giving the name ‘Lambert’ , the director of that film, to one of the characters. I don’t think I’ve seen the original so I can’t actually comment on any similarities but I can say that this film is a bunch of fun.

The actors playing the gang are so great in their roles, and the tension is palpable but the real highlight is Weir as Abigail. As a girl she’s fragile and delicate and after the reveal she is a scary as any monster in any monster movie, but without jingoistic catchphrases; she is just a deadly force to reckoned with dressed up in a 12 year old girl costume.

All in all, a fun film that, and this is contrary to almost everything I normally think, could be ripe for a sequel that pursues either Abigail’s lust for blood, or even Joey in her pursuit to destroy Abigail’s father… This was a marvellous film that proves that Radio Silence are amazing at what they do.

The Bluray menu screen

Extras: There’s a decent chunk of extras:

Deleted and Extended Scenes are, as is mostly true, better off not in the film. I still love that home video gives us the opportunity to see this stuff.

Gag Reel is, as usual, something that is probably more interesting for the cast and crew to reminisce on the fun days they had making the film. For us, it’s a curio, a distraction and little more.

Blood Bath takes a look at the amount of blood used in the filming of Abigail. I must admit that this is the generation of effects I really love: practical effects with just a touch of CGI to enhance it. The wonderful thing about this featurette is that everyone talks about how surprised by how much blood was used. Fantastic.

Hunters to Hunted looks at the design of the cast and how the directors fit them together, creating a world together.

Becoming a Ballerina Vampire is all about our titular beast, Abigail, and Alisha Weir who plays her so wonderfully.

Directing Duo Matt and Tyler unfortunately doesn’t discuss their history but does talk about the experience of making this film. I would have liked to have seen HOW two people direct a film together but as one would expect, it all relates to this film. My favourite line is that one of them says ‘we want to make movies WE like’ and I really LOVE that lack of cynicism.

Finally we have a commentary by Matt and Tyler, along with editor Michael P. Shawler, which doesn’t just talk about directorial decisions but also editorial choices. These people really love their jobs and it’s a great look at how important the roles are and how well Matt and Tyler work together.

Film: 7/10

Extras: 7/10

Rewatchability: 10/10

Head, you lose

This Bluray was purchased from JB Hifi