Tag Archives: To Watch Pile

Zombruary Review: Dellamorte Dellamore (1994)

by in Review and tagged , , , | Leave a comment

On our last review of Zombruary, we have one from the re watch pile…
Dellamorte Dellamore aka The Cemetery Man (1994)


Film: Shameless Screen Entertainment tricked me. Being a completist, I can’t help but grab every release they do as they have numbers clearly shown on the spine of each DVD or bluray they release. 

Cheeky buggers.

But I have to admit my chagrin may be not as severe as it could be, as through the perpetual purchases of their product, I have watched some films that I possible would never had been exposed to the likes of Who Watched Her Die or Torso.

This however is a film I would have grabbed even if I wasn’t a nutjob collector. This film has always been of interest to me for several reasons: it’s based on the comic Dylan Dog and I’m a sucker for comic movies, it stars Anna Falchi who is just exquisite (and has an amazing body which is shown off several times in this film), and is directed by Michele Soavi, who also directed Stagefright and The Church, two films I love!

Our story tells of gravedigger, Francesco Dellamorte (Rupert Everett) who doesn’t just bury the dead, but also has the job at a graveyard of re-burying the Dead who have returned to life, or ‘returners’ as he calls them along with his sidekick/ employee Gnaghi (François Hadji-Lazaro).

Dellamorte Dellamore: Rupert Everett as our hero!


Whilst at a gravesite one day he sees a widow, referred to as ‘She’ (Anna Falchi), who is burying her husband, and he decides she is the most beautiful living person he has ever seen, and decides he needs to pursue her.

He eventually lands his prize, but she dies of fright after seeing her returned deceased husband, Dellamorte’s life starts to decline… and perhaps his mental stability too, after he is visited by death itself, and doppelgänger of his beloved….

Dellamorte Dellamore: Anna Falchi… sigh.


It’s a great movie, with great looking zombies and a real different way of looking at the ‘zombie problem’ and it’s full of black comedy and with a nihilistic ending which is a surprising flip in tone, and is entertaining throughout.

Score: ****1/2

Dellamorte Dellamore DVD menu screen


Format: This U.K. Release from Shameless Screen Entertainment on DVD runs for approximately 103 minutes and is presented with an OK, 16:9 image with a similar Dolby Digital 2.0 soundtrack. The audio is available in English or Italian with English subtitles. It basicLly a good image, but has a touch of pixelation here and there and the colours sometimes run flat.

Score: ***

Extras: The disc opens with reviews for other Shameless Screen Entertainment releases Four Flies on Grey Velvet and Cannibal Holocaust.

Other extras include a trailer, a gallery (which is a usual pretty boring piece, only 15 photos from Alan Jones’ personal collection, some behind the scenes shots and a few pics of the script and a poster), there is a Shameless Trailer Park which features trailers for other Shameless releases Venus in Furs, The Frightened Woman, Who Saw Her Die, The Designated Victim, Oasis of Fear, Baba Yaga, Footprints on the Moon, Satan’s Baby Doll, The Beast in Space, The Strange Vice of Mrs Watch, Almost Human and Don’t Torture a Duckling.

There is also a fantastic commentary by Soavi and writer Gianni Romoli which really gets into the nuts and bolts of the making of the film, though it is , as expected, in Italian with English subtitles.

Journalist Alan Jones has also provided an interesting personal account of the Ma king of the film in an accompanying booklet.

Score: ****

WISIA: It’s a gem. You’ll watch it again and again!

Dellamorte Dellamore: a Zombie’s Guide to the Scout Apocalypse

Zombeavers (2014) Review

by in Zombeavers and tagged , , , | 1 Comment


One from the to watch pile…
Zombeavers (2014)

Zombeavers Australian Bluray cover


Film: Yeah. You read that right. Zombeavers. The film that takes all the very best from Zombies, and adds it to beavers.

Beavers. You know, the dam building, buck toothed water-dwelling mammals.

Yeah. Them.

Our story begins as Eight Legged Freaks and Return of the Living Dead 2 did, and probably hundreds of other horror films, with a truck accidentally dropping chemical/ medical waste into a river, which unfortunately changes a few members of the local wildlife into undead killing machines… ok, it’s beavers.

It’s where the film gets it’s clever title from.

Zombeavers: Mary, Zoe and Jenn.


Unfortunately for sorority sisters Mary (Rachel Melvin), Zoe (Courtney Palm) and Jenn (Lexi Atkins), the mutated zombie-beavers take up residence in the lake just outside of her cousin’s house where they have decided to take a weekend sabbatical, without their boyfriends.

Of course, their obnoxious boyfriends Sam (Hutch Dano), Tommy (Jake Weary) and Buck (Peter Gilroy) turn up and their sabbatical turns into a weekend of sex and odious behaviour… sounds awesome!

Very soon, the Zombeavers descend upon the group and no one is safe from the teeth that bite and claws that slash… who will survive the night, and will the virus the Zombeavers spread kill them all?

Zombeavers: a zombeaver.


Who cares? They are all douchebags!

Zombeavers is the only film to date to be directed by Jordan Rubin, who is normally a comedy writer and has worked with people like Conan O’Brian and on TV shows like Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Crank Yankers and The Man Show. It was also written by Rubin along with Al and Jon Kaplan.

It starts with an awesome Scooby Doo styled beginning, is full of some preposterously bad CGI and some real silly practical effects, is full of lame gags and has scenes lifted out of films like Creepshow 2, Black Sheep and the Scary Movie series, and yet still somehow entertained. Not due to fine performances or exquisite wit, but just for the sheer stupidity of the concept and execution.

Make sure you still around for the end credits and the Frank Sinatra styled, crooning Zombeavers song: it’s now been stuck in my head for 2 hours!

Score: *1/2

Zombeavers bluray menu screen


Format: Thankfully, Zombeavers only runs for 77 minutes and is presented, on this Australian region B bluray release, in a good 1.78:1 image with an excellent Dolby Digital 5.1 audio.

Score: ****1/2

Extras: Nothing, not a sausage.

Score: 0

WISIA: It’s so stupid, and yet with a weird funny charm to it… I hate to admit it, but I may actually watch this again.

Zombeavers: zombeaver/ human hybrid.

Fido (2006) Review

by in Fido and tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

One from the re watch pile…
Fido (2006)

My ex-rental DVD copy of Fido


Film: After Shaun of the Dead came out, it seemed every man and his dog wanted to make a zombie comedy, some of which worked, some of which didn’t. This film, Fido, written by Robert Chomiak, Andrew Currie and Dennis Heaton, and directed by Currie, is one of the lesser celebrated ones, which is unfortunate as it does at least deserve one viewing, though personally, it’s not a huge rewatcher.

In what appears to be an alternate 1950’s America, we are told via an educational (read that as propaganda) film that a radioactive dust fell to earth from space, and caused the dead to rise and try to eat human flesh. Then the zombies wars came, and mankind survived, and through the research of Zomcom, a company who then walled the cities to protect the citizens, a way to domesticate the undead was discovered and they became servants of mankind, taking care of menial tasks.

Fido: Loder as Timmy and Connelly as Fido


We are introduced to our hero Timmy (Kesun Loder), a young man who is the subject of bullying at school and doesn’t have any real friends. His parents, Helen (Carrie-Anne Moss) and Bill (Dylan Baker) have a strained relationship, mainly due to his lack of familial care, which is made even worse when Helen brings home a domesticated zombie, whom Timmy names Fido (Billy Connelly).

Timmy and Fido become great friends, but when Fido’s collar malfunctions and he kills a member of the neighbourhood, Timmy covers up the murder, but not before she kills another and causes a small uprising.

All through this though, Timmy questions various aspects of why zombies are what they are, both from a scientific and theological aspect… can the Living and the Dead co-exist?

Thematically there is a lot going on in this film. It takes a wry look at subjects like freedom vs security, at corporations controlling our lives when the government fails, oppression of minorities… all sorts of stuff.

From a cinematic point of view, there are some real clever elements here. The world of humanity is bright and vibrant and most of the zombies are discoloured so they appear to be in black and white, except for one zombie, Tammy, who’s owner is attempting to make her a surrogate wife. She is a microcosm of the entire film: there is a polished veneer over a society that is rotten to the core. 

It’s a well cast film too; Loder plays the 50s styled kid perfectly and isn’t annoying at all. Baker is the perfect uptight Dad with a few mental problems. Moss is delightful as the keeping up appearances mother, and Henry Czerny is great as the ‘company man’ who wants to contain and clamp down any situation. Connelly somehow plays Fido quite understated, and manages to convey what’s left of his humanity quite well.

Fido: Baker as Bill and Moss as Helen


Essentially what we have here is a funny parody of things like Lassie and Rin Tin Tin, but with zombies instead of dogs as the trusty, non-English speaking hero.

Score: ***1/2

The Fido DVD menu screen


Format: The reviewed copy of this film is an ex-rental Australian DVD which runs for approximately 89 minutes and presented in a below average 2.35:1 image with an excellent Dolby Digital 5.1 soundtrack. 

Score: ***

Extras: Not a wholly bad bunch of extras on this disc:

In the audio section we have a choice to listen to a commentary by director Currie, producer Mary Anne Waterhouse, and actress Moss. It’s a great technical commentary and talks about the entire aspect of script and film. A great film-student commentary.

Fido Family Portraits has conceptual art, make up and stills from the film presented as a slideshow with some accompanying music. I don’t normally go for stills galleries, but this is presented nicely.

There is some DVD-Rom ‘Zombie Me’ creator thing which has not been reviewed. I imagine it is the pre-iPhone app version of

Making of Fido is a short summary of what the film is thematically about.

Blooper reel is short and sweet it just shows a bunch of people not doing their jobs properly. Only kidding. I thought it would be a lot funnier considering, you know, Billy Connelly, but no.

There is a commentary with the score composer Don MacDonald which if, like me, you’re interested in score and cinema music is quite fascinating.

There a six deleted scenes with directors commentary which are interesting, but better off omitted.

In addition, there is a theatrical trailer.

Score: ***1/2

WISIA: It’s a cute, light-hearted, with occasional dark elements, zombie comedy but I doubt if I will revisit it.

Fido: when Daddy becomes a zombie….

Nerds of Oz: week ending 10th February 2017

by in New stuff and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Week Ending 10th February 2017
Mini-haul…
Blurays

This week I grabbed a couple of new releases: the animated Justice League Dark and Ouija Origin of Evil.


Bust/ Statues

Grabbed this cool Harley Quinn (yes, again) Mugshot bust. Normally I’d do a YouTube opening, but I couldn’t resist getting stuck into this straight away!


Board/ Card Games

Picked up a copy of Games Workshop’s Space Hulk. I had this years ago, and saw one quite cheap so I jumped on it. I loved this game in my twenties, this and another called Talisman, and I’m glad to have it again.

Burial Ground (1981) Review

by in burial ground and tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments


One from the re watch pile…
Burial Ground aka Le Notti Del Terrore (1981)

The 88 Films Bluray cover for Burial Ground


Film: I didn’t get to see all the 80s horror I now love in the 80s, some of it I only discovered since this more permissive age of DVD and Bluray where so many films, previously cut to death or not released at all in Australia, or perhaps were part of the American MPAA slash fest, or nailed to the wall as a Video Nasty in the UK. I am especially thankful to the Australian company Umbrella for giving me an opportunity to see things I never thought i’d see, or things I didn’t even knew existed!

Several years ago Umbrella came up with the concept of releasing several films with an old school E.C. Comics styled cover and amongst those releases was this film, Andrea Bianchi’s Burial Ground The Nights of Terror, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Burial Ground: Peter Bark!!


Burial Ground tells of three oversexed couples, and one twenty seven year old man made up to look like a child (Peter Bark), who visit an old building in the country owned by one of the gentlemen. What they don’t realise is that a nutty professor who looks like Rasputin, has been researching the Etruscan history of the house and has accidentally unleashed a small-ish legion of the undead!

Will this unpleasant bunch of boosh-wah morons survive the undead as they try to get into the house; will they be able to survive… the Night of Terror?!?

It’s a strange film insomuch as it has some below-average acting, bizarre casting, odd underlying themes of incest, sleazy men with hot girlfriends and blatant product placement, but then it has some beautiful surrounds, gore-a-plenty and stupidly awesome zombie make-up… seriously, so-bad-it’s-good nails the description in this case.

Burial Ground: anyone else suddenly feel like a J&B Scotch?


It probably isn’t a film that deserves much care taken with it, but the beautiful thing is how much care HAS been taken with this release! The image is amazingly sharp and obviously a lot of time was taken to clean it up, bravo to 88 Films in that case.

Score: ***1/2

Burial Ground 88 Films bluray menu


Format: This film was reviewed with the UK company 88 Films bluray edition from their ‘Italian Collection, this being number 14 in the set. It was remastered for bluray and looks great, presented in 1.66:1 with an equally nicely remastered 2.0 audio track in English, and an 2.0 Italian audio with English subtitles which is also excellent. 

Score: ****

Extras: There’s a nice bunch of extras on this disc:

A trailer and some audioless deleted scenes, but the funky soundtrack makes up for it. I can’t make a comment on whether or not these scenes are necessary as without the audio it makes them somewhat difficult to read, and ultimately redundant. One can’t have too much Peter Bark though, can you?

‘WTF’ an Interview with Mikel Coven looks at the films of Andrea Bianchi through the eyes of film historian Mikel Coven. It’s interesting and a great overlook of Bianchi’s output, even though Coven doesn’t seem to be a fan of his… or is he?

Also we have a trailer for Zombi Holocaust.

We also have a commentary on the film by John Martin, hosted by High Rising Productions Calum Waddell which takes a fun look at Bianchi history and the production of this film. It’s told, obviously, from a third party source, but it’s funny and interesting, and the two hosts clearly enjoy the,selves.

One last interesting thing, which I have decided to count as an extra, is there is the opportunity to watch this film in a ’35mm Grindhouse’ version, which is another way of saying ‘old VHS’ as there is heaps of static both on screen and on the soundtrack; so many snap, crackles and pops you’ll feel like a bowl of cereal by the time it finishes.

Also, this version comes with a reservable sleeve, an art card and a booklet with an article about the film by Calum Waddell and a small commentary about the film’ s transfer for bluray.

Score: ****

WISIA: I dig it and find it compelling due to its sleaziness and flat out weirdo-ness, you might too, and that is what will make it a re-watcher!

Burial Ground: it’s a zombie!!!

Nerds of Oz: Week Ending 27th January 2017

by in New stuff and tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Week Ending 27th January 2017
4 comics and 2 blurays: it’s been a quiet week.

Comics


Comics were at home when I arrived Tuesday night! Stoked.

READ! Harley Quinn #12 from DC Comics. Written by Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti, with art by John Timms and Chad Hardin. It’s funny but as I had almost finally decided to dump this title, it’s gets interesting. The Joker wants to return to Harley’s life, but Red Tool (quite possibly the lamest creation in Harley’s history) has decided to meet the Joker instead and stick up for her. Harley, of course, is furious with him, but aims the majority of her anger right in the Joker’s lap… and face… and limbs…

READ! Justice League vs Suicide Squad #5 from DC Comics. Written by Joshua Williamson with art by Robson Rocha, the only way to describe this comic is crazy just got crazier. Max Lord! A possessed Justice League! Eclipse! Batman forms his own mini league with Harley Quinn, Lobo, Captain Boomerang, Killer Frost, Killer Croc and Deadshot… which is clearly now showing that a new JLA title is about to launch starring some of these characters… not sure if I’ll get used to Frost being a good guy though!

READ! Raven #4 from DC Comics. Written by Marv Wolfman with art by Diogenes Neves, this issue we see Raven trying to stop the big white thing from ‘eating’ the locals in her town but will Raven have to resort to using her father, Trigon’s, side of her genetic make up to fight it? If she does, that’s SO Raven!

READ! The Mighty Captain Marvel #1 from Marvel Comics. Written by Margaret Stohl with art by Ramon Rosanas. Wholly disappointed by this. Captain Marvel is funding Alpha Flight by allowing a Tv series called Cap’n Marvel to be made, all the while trying to save a Kree child from shapeshifting kidnappers. It’s as dumb as it sounds.

DVDs and Blurays 


Grabbed two blurays this week, Blair Witch, which is absolutely terrible, and House of 1000 Corpses, which I have on DVD but want to replace with a bluray version.

Nerds of Oz Collection Post: 30th December 2016

by in New stuff and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Week Ending 30th December
Comics, and Pops, and Records: oh my!

Funko Pops

Horror Pops, not the band.


I know, I know, I wasn’t gonna buy more of these, but it’s Leatherface, Michael Myers and Pinhead: how could I resist?!?

Comics


I managed to read all my comics this week! How did I find the time?

READ! Harley Quinn #10 from DC Comics. Honestly I don’t know why I read Harley Quinn anymore. The stories are getting worse and worse and are usually just her going on silly inconsequential adventures, with a variety of artists that aren’t very good or funny. Occasionally they’ll do a serious one, but I think it’s time for a writer change on this one, sorry Jimmy and Amanda, I used to love the stories but now they just seem to be like old issues of Archie. Lame jokes and no real involvement with the rest of the DCU. At least a couple of art favourites of mine show up here in Bret Blevins and Joe Michael Linsner.

READ! Justice League vs Suicide Squad #1 from DC Comics. My two favourite teams from DC in a comic together? Yes please, though basically the plot will go that they’ll versus each other u til they realise they have a common enemy before begrudgingly working together. Comic Trope 101. The comic of course starts that way be we are also given a look into another group of bad guys who have banded together to,’save the world’ as the leader of them puts it. I won’t give away who they all are, but it’s nice to see the ‘main man’ of the DC universe back! Art by Jason Faibok is excellent, and the writing by Joshua Williamson is damned good too!

READ! Raven #4 from DC Comics. Continuing the tales of Raven of the Teen Titans. So far this comic has been amazing! I hope it continues in its Spiderman-ish teen alienation tales of woe and adventure. This comic just keeps going from strength to strength.

READ! Lady Mechanika: La Dama De La Muerte #3 from Benitez Productions. Awesome art and a pretty good story so far have made this anxiously looked forward to. Joe Benitez’s art is one of those things that both inspires me to draw, and makes me not want to draw as it is so beautiful. This issue doesn’t fail to impress! The bummer though it’s the Final issue… ARGH!

READ! Captain America: Sam Wilson #16 from Marvel Comics. I don’t normally buy this but it had Misty Knight on the cover carrying the shield: I’m buying that! If any character screams ‘Blaxploitation films’, it’s Misty Knight, and I LOVE Blaxploitation films! Tragically it doesn’t live up to its cover. The art is nice but it seems like it’s a fill-in issue. I probably won’t buy this title again. One, and done.

READ! Gamora #1 from Marvel Comics. She may not be on any Guardians of the Galaxy merchandise, but she at least gets a title of her own. Let’s hope it’s got some longevity. The story is written by Nicole Perlman and is fantastic, and supported well by really nice art by Marco Checchetto. I look forward to the next issue!

READ! The Mighty Captain Marvel #0 from Marvel Comics. I’ve always loved this character, from Ms. Marvel to Binary, so I’ll keep buying! It takes place after the terrible Civil War II which to me was an absolute travesty, especially after the awesome first Civil War which really was a thought provoking look at the whole super heroic experience from a ‘real world’ point of view. Anyway, now Marvel is in charge of Alpha Flight and is suffering from a touch of PTSD after Civil War II… hopefully she’ll get over it quickly and this book doesn’t end up just about ‘feelings’.

Magazines

Anime mags


I grabbed Otaku USA’s Dec 16 issue, and NEO’s issue 155. Due to my workplace, which has several anime fans, I am being dragged back into becoming a fan of anime, which I was many years ago. I have started on Eureka Seven AO, the sequel to an anime I like a few years ago called Eureka Seven.

Bluray



Which brings me to my bluray purchase, which includes collections 1, 2 and 3 of the anime RWBY, a horror from Monster Pictures called Satanic and the heart-stopping horror film Don’t Breathe. No doubt reviews if the movies are on their way!

Vinyl


Picked up three soundtracks at the Boxing Day sales: The Lego Movie, X-Men: Days of Future Past and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. Only listened to the Lego one so far which is by Devo’s Mark Mothersborough, and it has a fun vibe to it, and it starts with the epic ‘Everything is Awesome’.

A Little Bit of News…

by in Nerds of Oz, To Watch Pile and tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Yesterday I launched a brother site to this one called Nerds of Oz so I could separate my love of comics from my love of films. I have been a longtime collector of both, and it never felt quite right to have comic reviews, or my YouTube links about comics on this mainly movie related blog.

So from now on, no more comic reviews here at the TWP, you will, however, still get two weekly reviews, usually on a Monday and a Thursday, with an extra one popping up for special occasion, like my bonus Christmas review, coming soon.

Nerds of Oz will feature a Friday ‘haul’ post where I’ll show off my weekly comic or cominc related product post, with an occasional graphic novel, book, toy or statue review, hopefully every Tuesday, but that remains to be seen as I need to balance that site with this one, and make sure both get similar attention.

I hope you continue to support this site, and give my other one a go!

Have a great day!

Viral (2016) Review

by in Viral and tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

One from the to watch pile…
Viral (2016)

Viral Australian bluray


Film: I love it when a film that you have no prior knowledge of makes an impression. I don’t even know why I bought this. I was in JB Hifi looking to get rid of the money burning a hole in my pocket, and I liked the cover of this, and the back made it sound OK too. 

In general I like body horror films, the work of David Cronenberg being of a particular high point, for me Shivers or Rabid being my favourites, and this film has trappings of his films, but with a more accessible story to appeal to a greater mass market. Imagine if Cronenberg directed a John Hughes movie in a post-mainstream zombie movie world!

Viral: Sofia Black-D’Elia


Emma (Sofia Black-D’Elia), her sister Stacy (Analeigh Tipton) and their father (Michael Kelly… who is used to virus infected people after his jaunt in the Dawn of the Dead remake) have moved to a new small town after a traumatic family event, which temporarily is keeping their mother away. The girls are typical teenagers, and their father has taken a position as a science teacher at a local high school… but something awful is happening… a horrible new parasite has emerged: first a hunger, then a sore throat, the fitting, then the vomiting of blood…

Viral: a bloody mouthful


As their parents are stuck out of the now quarantined town, Emma and Stacy have to fend for themselves, and defend themselves from those whose bodies are now possessed by these creatures… but what would happen if one of THEM became infected?

The first thing I have to say about this film is how beautifully shot it is. The film is directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, responsible for directing both Paranormal Activity 2 and 3, but don’t let that turn you off. This film was written by the writer of those two films as well, Christopher Landon, who also gave us Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse, a film I enjoyed, and adapted to a screenplay by Barbara Marshall. 

There a some scenes that are just shot almost as a travelogue, or as if a static piece of art was being created. The scenery possibly has a lot to do with that as well as this town the film is set in seems to have mountains all around it and it’s just breathtaking.

The script is witty, with an amusing jibe about zombies aimed at Michael Kelly’s science teacher, and the female lead is delightfully refreshing in her realistic practicality, and her quiet, non-Hollywood beauty. If I am to criticise the script at all, it is to the characters that surround her: her sister is TOO much of a rebel, her sister’s boyfriends is TOO much of an idiot and of course, parents are amped up to be obnoxious jerks, but the movie is told from the point-of-view of a teen/ younger sister so that’s expected. At least in her eyes, the father is seen as a wholly good person and when she finds out that even he is flawed, the way she sees the world changes.

It really is a great take on the body horror sub-genre, with just a little zombie thrown, in (not enough for it to be classed as a ‘zombie’ film, but just enough to point it out) and it’s young cast make it a pretty cool entry level, Z for Zachariah styled horror film. See it!

Score: ****

Viral bluray title screen


Format: This region B, Australian release bluray of Viral runs for just over 85 minutes and is presented in an immaculate 2.40:1 image with a matching DTS HD 5.1 audio. This image is so sharp that it reveals every single hair, zit and pock mark on the actor’s faces. 

Score: *****

Extras: Not a sausage! Nothing!

Score: 0

WISIA: Thoroughly enjoyed this film so yes, definitely will get watched again.

Viral: peekaboo!

Gnome Alone aka Legend (2015) Review

by in Gnome Alone and tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

One from the to watch pile…
Gnome Alone aka Legend (2015)

The Australian DVD release of Gnome Alone


Film: In the 90s there was this brief horrible period of horror movie-dom where it seemed every studio was trying to replicate the big franchises of the 80s like the Friday the 13ths and the Nightmare on Elm Streets. 

Particularly the Nightmare on Elm Streets. 

For a brief moment, glib one liners and ironic deaths were all the rage, and unfortunately, the makers of this film have decided that they should make a comeback. Something in which I firmly disagree. As much as I love Freddy, I prefer a more machine like, less chatty killer. I mean, a subtle threat here and there is one thing, but amusing taunts are another.

Gnome Alone: Kerry Knuppe as Zoe


Gnome Alone tells the tale of Zoe (Kerry Knuppe), who has a hard life. Other kids at school pick on her, her teacher make humiliating advances on her in front of other students, her step-dad is molesting her and her late night job is unpleasant. 

One night, a homeless lady, Ms. Mae (Willow Hale) who is a customer of the shop Zoe works in, is beaten up by a couple of local thugs but they, and we, the viewers, find out quickly that she has a curse where anyone who crosses her, gets their just desserts at the hand of a gnome (Verne Troyer).

Unfortunately for both Zoe and Ms. Mae, Ms. Mae dies after being hit by a car, and the gnome, who took a liking to Zoe, passes the curse on to her. Now whenever Zoe makes an idle threat, it comes horribly true!

The police start investigating some of the deaths and find the common denominator is Zoe, and they start to close in…

I have to say that I enjoyed pretty much well nothing about this film. The quips from the gnome were obvious and terrible, the effects average and the acting was of high school musical standards…and I don’t mean the movie High School Musical: that acting was fine in comparison.

Gnome Alone: Verne Troyer as the gnome


Verne Troyer plays the gnome like some kind of bizarre, and I hate to say it, Mini-me version of Freddy Krueger, but latter day Freddy with the bad puns and stupid asides. Most of his scenes seem to be shot separately and edited together to look like he is there, as he doesn’t actually interact frequently with many other cast members.

For me though, I feel sorry for Kerry Knuppe. Her acting ability seems to be leaps and bounds ahead of others in this film, and at times she almost looks like she is waiting for the people acting opposite to raise their games, but it never happens.

I’m not sure what the director was trying to do with some of the decisions made in this film either. For example, the female teacher, who is nothing short of a sexual predator on her students, is shown in a scene that makes her affair with a female student appear to be sexy. I’m not so sure it is.

That’s not to mention that police procedures that have been around for years, you know, like a little thing called ‘evidence’, have been thrown out the window in place of assumptions and bullying, and it’s quite hard for me to swallow a movie that shows all the police as buffoons. If you are making a film about corrupt cops, that’s one thing, but to have your entire police force in that manner in a film is just bad scriptwriting.

I paid $6.98 for this film at JB Hifi’s Halloween horror movie sale and was overcharged by about $111.68. Avoid like a herpes milkshake.

Score: *

Gnome Alone DVD menu screen: note lack of extras


Format: It’s one thing to make a shitty movie, but another to release it in a poor manner is unforgivable. This Australian, region 4 DVD release of the film runs for approximately 90 minutes (the cover says 85 minutes, but it’s wrong… another unforgivable crime). The film is presented in a 16:9 video of varying quality, mostly too dark, and in a Dolby Digital 5.1 audio that is far too quiet at some points. I’m not sure if that’s the film quality or the mastering of the disc, but it’s still pretty poor.

Score: **

Extras: Nothing to see here, move along…

Score: 0

WISIA: I doubt very much if this film will ever see the light of day in my house ever again.

Gnome Alone: didn’t I mention there’s a leprechaun? (Travis Eberhard)