PANDEMIC (2016)

I was going to review this film about 5 years ago, but something happened in the world that seemed to make it a bad idea, and so I decided that in March 2025, 5 years after the World Health Organisation declared a world wide pandemic, that perhaps it was time to review this film, 2016’s Pandemic, directed by John Suits from a script by Dustin T. Benson, which, according to IMDB, is his only cinematic credit.

That’s a red flag, right there!

When I grabbed this movie on Bluray when it was first released, a pandemic seemed to be a science fiction concept from a zombie movie or a 50s science fiction short story from Analog Magazine. I grabbed this film because I have an affection for Rachel Nichols, who I liked in things like the Amityville Horror remake and P2, which is still a surprisingly ok thriller. Any of the goodwill that I had was lost after spending 90 minutes watching this garbage.

What I did not know about this film when I purchased it was that it is a found footage styled film. As it is I’m not a fan of found footage films. I never find it immersive. I think The Blair Witch Product is a terrible waste of time and money wrapped in an extraordinary marketing campaign like nothing that was seen before or since. I don’t believe the fandom of that film would be as high if the accompanying marketing… let’s call it what it was… lies were as well executed and I’m stunned how easily people are OK with bullcrap in a film advertising campaign but if it was a food stuff that told you you would be better looking and more muscular when it did not do those things, most would want their money back.

Pandemic tells of a world after a horrible virus that changes people into the flesh-eating cannibals that at various stages of viral incubation are still able to reason and use tools… actually, I feel like it’s never made entirely clear though there is a description of 5 level of infection so basically the story can make up what type of infected they have depending on what the story needs.

In a compound of uninfected doctors researching a cure, Dr Greer (CSI’s Paul Guilfoyle) assembles a team to rescue some victims who are held up in the city. In this team are Lauren (Rachel Nichols) a New York Doctor working with the CDC, Wheeler (Game of Thrones’ Alfie Allen) the driver, Gunner (Dawn of the Dead (2003) Mekhi Phifer) who acts as the worst security ever and Denise (Missi Pyle from Josie and the Pussycats) the navigator. There are all fitted with protective uniforms that have headcams on them for research purposes, according to Dr Greer, and this is how we get our story.

As you would expect, the mission goes to utter crap and one of the team isn’t who they say they are, and their personal mission may put everyone else in extreme danger…

The first person aspect feels more like the director didn’t know how to set the scene and opted for found footage look for no reason other than utter laziness. It’s NOT immersive. It DOES NOT add to the drama. If anything, it’s distracts from the drama and makes some quality actors look like they are rank amateurs,

Another problem comes from the costume design: you see, when characters spend time talking directly to each other wearing big transparent helmets that are obviously not well ventilated, the screens mist up, and the when light is shined directly onto that mask, the reflection obscures the faces of the actors. This is a another amateurish issue that even the worst of filmmakers who be aware of.

Not that this actually matter too much because these four fairly good actors are simply terrible in this film. At no point do I sympathise or empathise with any of them at all. I don’t think I’ve ever been so disinterested in the plight of characters so much in a film.

There is an occasional bit of gore that works well, but it’s not enough, especially considering some of the CGI fire is utter crap!

This film is basically an amateurish pastiche of Hardcore Henry, Doomsday, Rec and 28 Weeks Later that is so confusing at times with the headcams that you can barely tell who is doing what.

Avoid like, well, the plague.

Extras:

The disc starts with trailers for Take Down and The Curse of Sleeping Beauty, and that’s the entirety of the extras. Having said that, both these films look low budget and ridiculous but I’m intrigued by both trailers and am going to seek them out!

Film: 1/10

Extras: 2/10

Rewatchability: 0/10

Purchased from JB Hifi. Still haven’t forgiven them for allowing me to do so.