LONGLEGS (2023)

*The cover to the Australian 4K release*

LONGLEGS (2023)

Longlegs had this bizarre and magical air about it when it was released. I hadn’t heard a word spoken about it and suddenly social media was a-buzz about it. Was it because Nicholas Cage had become such a meme that to see him actually perform in a film was a surprise to people who aren’t aware of any of his work before The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent?

Go and watch 8MM now!

I admit that I found that it was magical as well, as it took me 4 goes to stay awake through the whole thing. The spell of boredom it cast was such that it took me that many goes to sit through it.

Longlegs was written and directed by Osgood Perkins, not just the writer/ director of I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House but also something I didn’t know until writing this review, is the son of Psycho’s Tony Perkins and starred in Legally Blonde as David!!

Longlegs tells the tale of FBI Agent Lee Harker (Maika Monroe) who, after a disastrous door to door investigation that saw her partner shot, has an evaluation that discovers her to be a little bit psychic.

She is partnered with Agent Carter (Blair Underwood) and is put on the Longlegs case, which sees a group of families getting a visit from a person who calls themselves Longlegs (Nic Cage) and soon after the father cracks, kills the family and then himself… but why, and what does it have to do with the child of the family’s birthday? After being visited anonymously during the night with a key to the Zodiac Killer-styled notes being left, Harker seems to somehow be involved, or is she? And why are these bizarre dolls left behind at the victim’s houses?

This film ticked all the boxes for me: serial killer, police investigation, a little bit of cult craziness, some interesting choices of casting and cinematography and yet I found it a slog to get through. It felt like someone had discovered all my favourite foods and had decided that I’d like to eat them all together in a big silver bucket with a wafer-thin wafer for desert… but unlike my suggested Mr Cruseau, it did not split me open in a painful and difficult vomitous birth: it put me to sleep.

All through the film I felt there was an ingenuous homage/ parody of Silence of the Lambs, but instead of Jodie Foster’s uncomfortable take on being a woman in a ‘man’s’ environment, the main character of Harper is more like Ed Norton in Red Dragon: flat, emotionless, clinical… almost dispassionate in its performance. This made her unlikable and distracting and I even found her performance to just be an emulation of Holly Hunter in Copycat (remember that one?). The similarities to Silence of the Lambs even resonates down to the mildly effete sanitarium operator, helped to muddy its identity. They do address the aforementioned woman in a man’s world situation Harker is in, but it’s a ham-fisted take, and not at all subtle like Jonathon Demme’s film.

I found Cage’s performance to be quite interesting, but the awful make up kept distracting me . I think it would have been far more effective and less like a parody if he had been able to use his own, far more interesting face rather than this terrible prosthetics which even blocks his performance a little. Honestly, Alicia Witt as Harker’s mother’s physical transformation is far more surprising and interesting that Cage’s.

I have to say I get that cinema is about mood, but much like my beloved CSI and Criminal Minds TV series’s, I’m sure these crimes could be solved a lot faster if the investigators TURNED THE LIGHTS ON!!

Ahem, excuse me.

Here’s an interesting twist though: it all pays off in the third act. If you can make it through the first two acts, the pay off is pretty good… not excellent, and maybe not even worth the laborious first two acts, but it does come good. Even better, a rewatch reveals a lot of answers that out of context you flat out would never guess.

I have a constant craving for a horror film that is original and bucks the trend of the usual sort of mainstream crap that cinema goers, streamers, and physical media purchasers are subject to… this isn’t the solution, but it’s a step in the right direction.

Most really good horror movies can leave you with a sleepless night, but for me, Longlegs is a CURE for a sleepless night, that pulls itself up at the end… if you can stay awake to it. I hate to be the guy that tells you, like I was told about many TV shows, that by the sixth episode it gets good… I want to be hooked from the start, not by the time I’ve started to lose interest.

Extras: Only one extra, which is a commentary by Perkins, and it’s thorough and he clearly loves the process of filmmaking. Worth a listen.

Film: 4/10

Extras: 4/10

Rewatchability: 6/10

*One of the bizarre dolls left at the victims’ houses.*

This film was reviewed with the Australian 4K release purchase from JB Hifi

THE HILLS HAVE EYES (1977)

January 11, 2025 by J.R. in To Watch Pile | Leave a comment

THE HILLS HAVE EYES (1977)

The entire contents of the Arrow release.

A Nightmare on Elm Street really opened my eyes to horror when I saw it at the cinema back in the 80s. I took one of my early teen dates to it in Sydney, she got a lift home with her dad and I had to catch the train home solo and then walk a good 40 minutes home from the train station so it made for a thoroughly scary experience for a mid teen boy.

What that night did though, was make me really look at directors and what they made, and a lifelong admiration for Wes Craven started then. I didn’t actually see this film until much later (along with Last House on the Left) but, and this kind of buries the lead, but liked it, and also started a love of that hillbilly horror subgenre of horror.

I have a special relationship with 1977’s The Hills Have Eyes insomuch that my second favourite movie poster of all time is the Italian poster for the film, and I have one hanging in my house next to my record collection, which I think is pretty damned cool.

The Hills Have Eyes tells of the Carter family, on holidays and making their way to California with a nice big caravan on the back of their vehicle. Unfortunately for them, they take a wrong turn, and end up in an area forbidden to public access.

Big Bob definitely NOT asking for directions

After the car breaks down, Big Bob (Russ Grieve) and Doug (Martin Speer). They venture off in opposite directions leaving the family abandoned in the middle of the desert, and one of their dogs goes missing.

Doug returns but Big Bob has been captured by a mutant family living in the hills, and they set fire to him in front of his family before attacking the rest of them, raping, killing and kidnapping the baby.

Will Doug and the surviving family members be able to save the child… or even save themselves?!?

I like this movie mainly due to its theme which asks how far can you push a person until they snap, and maybe they response to pressure changes them permanently and in a way where they may not recognise themselves, and no longer like what they may have become.

I also admire the choice in making the hill people more like a force of nature, a natural disaster that descends upon a normal family who have to go above and beyond, both in inventiveness and ruthlessness to survive. Even down to their ignorance of the sanctity of human life may be revealed in the choices of names: Mercury, the god of travellers, trickery and thieves, Jupiter, the god of thunder, Pluto, the god of the dead and Mars, the god of war.

It’s almost like the cast were cast for two separate films and a calamity brought them together. The hill people are an extreme parody of what we city folk imagine hillbillies to be like, and the city folk are played completely straight. It makes me think of movies like Who Framed Roger Rabbit? where the animated cast are so extreme they don’t seem to fit except for the fact that the story and the direction are so finely tuned to suit them both. That alienation is what makes these sorts of films so much fun, I suppose.

The location is such a character of this film as well. The dry, obtusely horrible terrain makes survival appear harder that what it could ever possibly be, and like Tobe Hooper’s visual eye for Texas Chainsaw Saw Massacre, one almost feels like they need to be rehydrated after spending anytime in the environment.

All in all, every hillbilly horror I’ve enjoyed, from Wrong Turn to Hosue of 1,000 Corpses can be tracked back to my enjoyment of this film. I probably dig the remake even more, but that might be for budgetary reasons, which allowed the mutants to be more mutated.

The menu screen of the Arrow Bluray set.

Disc:

Before I look at the extras on the disc, there are a few other extras in the slipcase edition of the film from Arrow Video. First there is a series of 6 postcards with movie posters for the film from all over the world… including my aforementioned Italian one. There is also a double sided poster of the film depicting two of the American posters, and finally, a small book with two essays, one by Brad Stevens and one by Ewan Cant, and a small blurb about the film’s transfer.

Now let’s look at the extras on the disc:

Looking Back at The Hills Have Eyes is a general making of style thing but it goes for a solid hour and has extensive commentary from Craven which is fantastic.

Family Business is a new interview with Martin Speer who played Doug, and he discusses his memories of the making of the film.

The Desert Sessions is a 2016 interview with composer Don Peake who wrote the score. He has some really nice recollections on Craven and how they approached the soundtrack.

Alternate Ending is an interesting curio but little more than that. I like the choice that was made instead,

I’m not sure who the Outtakes are for, but the filled up the disc?

Trailers and TV Spots features a U.S. trailer, a German trailer and some TV advertising.

Image Gallery which I’ll actually compliment for the first time as it is even MORE movie posters from the film!

Audio Commentaries, which are only available to watch with the ‘regular’ release of the film, and there are three of them, one with the cast, with with Wes Craven and Peter Locke, and finally, one with Mikel J. Koven. Having the three different commentaries in pretty amazing as it offers so much information from different points of view.

Film: 7/10

Extras: 9/10

Rewatchability: 7/10

Jupiter (James Whitworth) learns about caravan safety the hard way.

ALIEN 2 ON EARTH (1980)

January 4, 2025 by J.R. in To Watch Pile and tagged 88 Films, bluray, horror, italian, Sci Fi, scifi | 1 Comment

Alien 2 On Earth (1980)

Did you know there was a sequel to Ridley Scott’s Alien that was made a year after Alien’s release? Surely, just because something isn’t ‘official’ doesn’t mean it’s not a sequel, right?

Fan fiction is legitimate writing, isn’t it? If that’s the case, I’m going to say that Alien 2 On Earth, aka Alien Terror, aka Alien 2 Sulla Terra is just as legitimate a sequel as Patrick Lives Again, and Zombi 2.

Alien 2 On Earth was written and directed (under instruction/ advisement of a Mario Bava) by Caro Ippolito under the pseudonym ‘Sam Cromwell’ and even though it’s not an actual sequel, and doesn’t look anything like Scott’s Alien, 20th Century Fox attempted to sue, but were stopped when it was shown that a book called Alien also existed.

The plot of the story is bizarre.

The world excitedly awaits the return to earth of some astronaut hits in their landing shuttle, but when it arrives, it’s found to be empty, just as weird blue rocks start to appear around the world.

Thelma Joyce (Belinda Mayne) is a spelunker who has a bizarre psychic seizure when being interviewed on a TV show about caves. The interview is cut short and she joins husband Roy (Mark Bodin) and the rest of her spelunking crew to go into some caves (filmed in the beautiful Castellana Grotte: a cave system in Italy).

On their way, one of the team Burt (Michele Saovi) finds one of the blue rocks and gives it to Thelma, knowing she loves geology, and of course for some strange reason, she takes it with her into the cave system.

Once down there, the rock starts to pulsate and a bizarre ‘thing’ comes out, attacking the crew, murdering them one by one in all manner of gory ways. Panicked, they lose their way in the caves but will any of them escape? And if that blue rock had that ‘thing’ in it, what of all the others above ground..?

Alien 2 On Earth is a silly as a film can be. It looks like an Irwin Allen science fiction TV series, has extreme gore that is actually quite indefinable, considering we never actually get to see the alien properly, and has bizarrely bad pacing with lingering shots of bowling alley ball returns that go on for so long that they are clearly there to stretch the time of the film. This all goes without commenting on how dismal the handheld camera work is; it’s so rocky at times that it makes The Blair Witch Project look like it was filmed on steadicam.

Sadly, and it is a reflection of my taste, I guess, I enjoyed watching every stupid minute, and this 88 Films Italian Collection release has treated it with far more respect than it possibly deserves.

An amusing story surround this film as it was originally supposed to be far more grand in scale, opening with the remains of the Nostromo from Alien crashing to earth (it must have traveled back in time) with the remains of the alien onboard, but legend has it that Ippolito spent a large proportion of the money raised for the film on an expensive car, escorts and casinos.

I really can’t express how stupid AND how much fun this film is. I’m almost embarrassed to like it.

*The menu screen from 88 Films’ bluray release*

Extras: The delightful folks at 88 Films have provided us with a handful of fun extras:

Special Effects Test is an interesting way to sit in silence for a few minutes whilst blank screens and blood and guts fill the screen. Would have been more interesting with some editing and maybe a commentary?

Franchised Terrorist: An Interview With Eli Roth, who is a big fan of 80s Italian horror and his enthusiasm for the film is visible, and he knows a lot about it! Interesting, but I would have preferred seeing someone who worked on the film chatting about it.

Alien 2 On Earth Trailer is exactly what it says on the box; the trailer for Alien 2 On Earth… but that’s not all, folks! We also have a trailer reel for other films like Creepshow 2, Invasion U.S.A., River of Death, Graduation Day, Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers, Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland, The Couch Trip, Cuba, Messenger of Death and The Dead Next Door! Whew!

Film: 5/10

Extras: 6/10

Re-Watchability: 7/10

This 88 Films release was purchased from Amazon.

Thanksgiving (2023)

November 28, 2024 by J.R. in digital retribution review, To Watch Pile and tagged digital retribution | Leave a comment

THANKSGIVING (2023)

We all though it was silly throw away trailer thrown into the middle of the two features in the Rodriguez/ Tarantino two-for-one film Grindhouse from 2007, but in actual fact, Thanksgiving has been a simmering and festering idea hidden within the brain of Eli Roth and his friend from school, Jeff Rendell like a tasty walnut stuffing since they were kids.

Today, I am giving thanks to the fact that in 2023 it became a full feature, with the scenes from the trailer intact albeit refilmed with the new cast.

A year after a horrifying Black Friday sales that went horribly wrong that saw a local championship baseball hopeful, Bobby (Jalen Thomas Brooks) having his pitching arm injured and the store manager’s wife, Amanda (Gina Gershon) brutally killed by shoppers rioting to get the best deals, a killer emerges.

Whilst the owner of the shop, Thomas Wright (Rick Hoffman), got of scott-free due to the security cameras conveniently not working, a killer dressed as a pilgrim has decided to take out those who committed crimes on that night and didn’t pay, and via social media, is tagging his potential victims at a dinner table being set for a thanksgiving dinner that slowly is being filled with their victims.

This of course puts a group of young friends who were there that night on edge, mainly because they were already in the store due to one of them, Jessica (Nell Verlaque), being the daughter of the store owner, and this incensed the crowd out the front who saw them inside.

Local sheriff, Eric Newton (Patrick Dempsey) is on the case with his new deputy, but as the body count rises, so too does the suspect list… who is the pilgrim serial killer?

I’ve always been a fan of Eli Roth. I liked Cabin Fever and Hostel, even though I’m not one of those ‘horror bros’ that his fans are accused of being… well, I don’t think I am… and for me, this trailer was the best one of the Grindhouse ones.

The story of this film is as ridiculous as the 80s slashers it emulates, and there’s a couple of nice tidbits of homages that show some respect to the history of horror that Roth love throwing into his films.

The violence and gore is surprising as one would expect in a Roth film also, but occasionally its quite shocking and as much as I hate to admit it, it occasionally has a sense of fun and silliness which takes the edge of just how extreme it is.

The look of the serial killers outfit is iconic as well. Sure its a traditional pilgrim look but it has a stark look on it face that makes it terrifying. Also, the film takes the idea of a mass market Halloween mask, like Michael Myers for example, and puts it on everyone in the town so the killer can hide in plain site, and what is even better, during a thanksgiving parade scene, it completely turns that idea on its head which I can’t describe here without a massive spoiler.

The reveal at the end is fun and upon a second viewing, like a decent giallo even, it does show you on several occasions who is the killer with blatant hints, which is great.

The film also doesn’t not ignore the fact that mobile phones exist, and even plays on the gross trans of influencers and the dumb stuff done for clout and likes.

All in all i really enjoyed this film. The gore effects were silly and effective, the story was surprisingly engaging, some of the stars were surprising (Patrick Dempsey… really?!?) and it all made for an all over fun watch.

Disc: There is a great bunch of extras on this disc.

The first one is Behind the Screams, which is the usual blah blah blah self love masturbatory short where the cast and crew can rub each other’s rhubarbs. This is no different; its just a few brief comments from the gang that worked on the film squeezed together in a 4 minute MTV collection of sound bytes.

Gobble Gobble Gore Galore looks at special effects artist Adrian Morot’s work on the film… his sickeningly realistic work on the film!! It’s just another short piece but i like special effects so i like it.

Outtakes are what it says on the box. As usual, I am sure they are far more funny to the cast and crew in them rather than us.

There is a Commentary with Eli Roth and Jeff Rendell which is almost wholesome in the affection that these two lifelong friends have not just for the horror genre but also for each other. It is as much a commentary on their lives as it is on the film.

Deleted, extended and alternate scenes has about 35 minutes worth of footage that the film didnt need, and I probably didn’t need to watch.

Massachusetts Movies: Eli and Jeff’s Early Films can be watched with or without commentary by Roth and Rendell, and is some films they made at school which don’t have much for we, the viewer, in them, but there certainly are some fond memories with the commentary.

Film: 7/10

Disc: 7/10

Rewatch : 8/10

Imaginary (2024)

November 21, 2024 by J.R. in digital retribution review, Digital Retribution review, horror, To Watch Pile and tagged digital retribution, dvd, horror, imaginary, Jeff Wadlow | Leave a comment

IMAGINARY (2024)

I think most people had an imaginary friend when they were children. I know I had one, though apparently mine was a different experience to most. I had my imaginary friend from the ages of 13 to 16, and instead of being an elf or a teddy bear, mine was a 27 year old blonde Bulgarian single mother of two with a voracious sexual appetite.

… but enough about me and teenage fantastical and onto the fantasies of writer and director of Imaginary, Jeff Wadlow, the director who also gave us the perfectly average but forgettable Truth or Dare from 2018 and a slasher from 2005 called cry_wolf, mostly forgotten except for the fact it starred Jon Bon Jovi as an educator.

It also had my then-horror movie crush Lindy Booth.

Imaginary starts with children’s author Jessica Barnes (DeWanda Wise) having a nightmare about a giant spider perusing her through a house, ironically in a scene similar to a children’s book she has written called Molly Millipede and the Blue Door.

She awakes with her partner, Max (Tom Payne) and they make the decision to move a few days early back to her childhood house, with his two daughters, Taylor (Taegan Burns) and Alice (Pyper Braun), the house now vacated after her father was admitted to an aged care facility.

Max’s life has had some tragedy as well as his former partner has been removed from society for some mental issues, including hurting the younger daughter.

Of course, being a new parent to the girls, Jessica has trouble connecting with teenage Taylor, who also won’t let her break down the walls with the her little sister, try though she might.

Soon after moving in, Alice and Jessica engage in a game of hide and seek, during which, Alice finds a teddy bear abandoned in a hidden room in the basement, which she quickly adopts.

Alice and the bear, who according to Alice calls himself ‘Chauncey’, become fast friends, as any child with a plush toy would, but very soon Chauncey gives Alice a list of things to do, a list of very specific things that have to be done… but why? What are these tasks in aid of… and why are some of them destructive, even self-destructive?

Unfortunately Imaginary is a great name for this film, as its entertainment value, its acting quality, its character’s likability… all imaginary. I love a film that has an imaginary friend cause some kind of terror to the family, even though each of these films has the same stuff in it like childhood trauma, a blended family, a new house, a young child who feels disenfranchised for what ever reason, and this film just sat down with a checklist and marked them off, one by one.

I will credit it with it taking the murderous demon/ ghost/ imaginary friend, and tweaking it a little to make the payoff somewhat different, though it does feel like it’s riffing a little on Steven King’s It, but because the rest of it is so mediocre, the payoff doesn’t feel like a reward, and instead feels just like a relief that it’s all over.

Disc: Nothing

Film: 2/10

Extras: N/A

Re-Watchability: 0/10

This review was done with the Australian release DVD purchased from JB Hifi

The SCORES are BACK

November 3, 2024 by J.R. in To Watch Pile | Leave a comment

For the past few years I have committed an experiment to the site in removing a ‘score’ from the reviews, hoping that the content would be enough to explain what the final opinion was… but after much deliberation I have decided that maybe it doesn’t work.

I think that we as consumers of any form of pop culture or artistic endeavour have become attuned to the idea that a numerical result is important in the advice given by a review, so from now on, the numbers are back.

I thought long and hard about what the score should represent, and have decided that each review will have three scores positioned at the foot of each review, will be out of ten (as I discovered I give a lot of ‘1/2’s’ so I should just do whole numbers but double the limit) and they shall represent the following:

Film: xx/10 – this will refer to my opinion of the film, in its story, effects, acting, execution and just entertainment value.

Extra: xx/10 – this score will take the release I reviewed into account, looking at the extras (if any) and any bonus stuff packed with the release, like a poster, or post cards or a book or whatever.

Rewatchability: xx/10 – it’s basically the return of my old WISIA – Would I See It Again score. Sometime a bad movie may have rewatchability value for its ridiculousness, or maybe just because it was an enjoyable watch. Also, some films are an amazing first watch, but lose something upon their second viewing. This score will represent how rewatchable a film is.

Now I am it going to return to all the old reviews rejigger their scores, but that is not to say I won’t do it later, however, I would like to give a few examples of this type of scoring I would give films that I HAVE reviewed as an explanation of this new scoring process.

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Film: 8/10

Extras: 6/10

Rewatch: 10/10

The Beekeeper

Film: 3/10

Extras: 5/10

Rewatch: 2/10

I don’t see there to be any real reason to comment on the quality of the disc, especially if it is a 4k or newer release as in my personal experience, most releases I get my hands on now have a decent image and sound, and I’m more interested in the entertainment value of a product rather than the tech specs that honestly, with my eyesight, I couldn’t notice anyway. I will however, make mention of an issue if it is a glaring fault, or an edited release when it claims not to be.

I hope you continue to read these reviews. I understand my output has been lacking in the past few years but I’ve had personal reasons for the reduction of output. I can’t guarantee I’ll get back to a weekly review, but I do hope for a greater frequency regardless.

Thanks for your continuing support.

THE BEEKEEPER (2024)

August 3, 2024 by J.R. in digital retribution review, To Watch Pile and tagged 4K, action, Jason Statham | 1 Comment

THE BEEKEEPER (2024)

Does anyone remember ‘Mad-Libs’? Mad-Libs was a game where you were given a paragraph or two that had almost all the nouns and verbs and adjectives taken out of it and you asked another person for ‘any noun’ and ‘any verb’ et cetera, without them seeing the paragraph, and when you read it back, much hilarity would ensue.

More because it was that the player would use nouns like ‘dick’ and ‘bum’ and verbs like ‘farting’ rather than anything else, but a lot of fun could be had with the game.

Now, I’ve got one for you:

(Characters name) is living the quiet live having retired from their occupation as an assassin for the underground group (group name). Unfortunately, when their friend, (friend’s name) is killed by the actions of (young relative) of the boss of (group name), they come out of retirement for revenge. When the boss decides to protect his (young relative) by employing the assistance of (military group) they are told that (characters name) is unstoppable and everyone is subsequently killed.

*Jason Statham as Adam Clay: The Beekeeper*

So many action films run on that formula, and it’s a formula that works when you consider John Wick and its three sequels success, and it is well and truly still alive here in The Beekeeper.

The Beekeeper is directed by David Ayer, who gave us what I think is one of the better super hero (well, villain) movies ever made, Suicide Squad and was written by Kurt Wimmer, who wrote Equlibrium and Law Abiding Citizen, but the creativity of those films is not present here.

When Adam Clay’s (Jason Statham) only friend commits suicide after being scammed out of all the money in the charity she works for by an online scammer, Clay decides to execute everyone involved.

What is so special about Clay though? Clay is a retired ‘Beekeeper’, an extreme black ops operative who has a set of skills that are over and above most normal soldiers.

After destroying the first call centre, Clay discovers they are run by Derek Danforth (Josh Hutcherson) whose employee, Wallace Westwyld (Jeremy Irons) finds out he has a Beekeeper after him, he calls in political favours to try and save his life… but those attempts to subdue fail… and Clay continues his way up the pecking order…

Whilst all this is happening though, he is pursued by the FBI, specifically Agent Wiley (Bobby Naderi) and Agent Parker (Emmy Raver-Lampman), the latter who has a personal stake in the whole affair as the woman who committed suicide in the first place is her mother.

Riffing John Wick in plot and action, as I inferred by the Mad-Lib, The Beekeeper doesn’t really seem to have its own identity, and most people could be shown any seen from this and identify it as any of the mass of Jason Statham as Jason Statham action films out there.

Hutcherson is as annoying as he always is in every film he is in, but thankfully the lack of acting by him and Statham is countered by Raver-Lampman and Naderi, and of course the ever vaudevillian villain Irons, still playing Scar from the Lion King at every opportunity.

Whilst formulaic to the nth degree, thats not to say the film is completely not enjoyable. It has a few moments of violence that are surprising, some characters that are SO ridiculous are can’t figure out if they are rejects from Bullet Train or The Machine, seriously, you wait until you see Clay’s replacement Beekeeper, or the South African mercenary, which makes them so unusual in something that takes itself so seriously, and there are at least a few plot twists that make for fun variations on the theme.

One thing I really didn’t like was making the scammers look like they were doing glorious work. All the scammers were attractive young people and their bosses were across between Taika Waititi in Free Guy and Leonardo DiCaprio as Jordan Belfort from The Wolf of Wall Street, but when you see some of these call centres in video footage for real, they look anything but! I was confused by the need to make these guys look like they were glamorous, even though their characters were awful from a personality point of view.

I must add though that the hamfisted ‘bee’ references are as stupid as they sound.

Not liking this film is a difficult thing to do as the objection to it comes from its lack of originality, but if I don’t like one film because of that, I have to dislike MOST action films, or horror films for that matter. I think there is some good action sequences in here, but the lack of story and what appears to be a disinterested lead make it a chore.

Disc: No extras at all.

*Adam Clay’s replacement; Kelly Krane (Sophia Feliciano)*

MASTERS OF HORROR: IMPRINT (2006)

July 20, 2024 by J.R. in digital retribution review, To Watch Pile and tagged dvd, horror, imprint, masters of horror, takashi Miike | Leave a comment

MASTERS OF HORROR: IMPRINT (2006)

In the early 2000s, an amazing TV series was produced called Masters of Horror, created by Mick Garris, where famous horror directors like Dario Argento, Don Coscarelli, Stuart Gordon, John Carpenter and others got to create short one hour horror movies, and Takashi Miike was one of the directors asked to participate.

Notoriety follows director Miike like a haunted shadow of a tortured ballerina whose sole purpose is to cut out his tongue and slice off his nipples. This, his ‘banned’ episode of Masters of Horror, sits well amongst his work. Like most of his movies, the story simmers, and is broughtslowly to a boil. With images of beautiful pain and exquisite suffering that stays with you for a time after the movie has finished.

Based on a novel Bokke Kyote, by Shimaku Iwai (who also had a small role in the film), the screenplay for this film was written by Daisuke Tengan, who has worked with Miike before when he adapted the novel Audition by Ryu Murakami into the wonderful film of the same name.

Imprint tells the haunting tale from the 1800s of American journalist, Christopher (Billy Drago), who travels to an island in Japan in search of the prostitute, Komomo (Michie) who he had abandoned years earlier, promising to return for her. Finding himself unable to locate Komomo, he takes residence in a bordello, where he hires the services of a deformed hooker (Youki Kudoh), but instead of taking her for carnal pleasures, he asks her to tell him a story, and so, she recounts to him the fate of his beloved Komomo, and so begins a story of rape, torture and degradation…

Beautifully shot, Imprint at times is like watching a traditional Japanese painting come to life. The flame haired whores with their blackened teeth take on the appearance of oni or evil spirits, who live on islands and take much delight in the torture of others. Miike’s ability to take the obtusely sickening and turn it into an image of beauty is a gift that few directors have, but he has in spades.

The only real problem I found with this episode of Masters of Horror was Billy Drago’s performance, but I do not think that was his responsibility. Obviously, this film was to be part of an American television series, and the performances were to be executed in English, but as much trouble as some of the Japanese cast members had in performing in English; it seemed that the normally wonderful Drago was being misdirected, and appeared to be overacting. I imagine that this was due to miscommunication from the language barrier between Miike and Drago.

Everything Miike did right with the nightmare of Audition, he has done again here with Imprint. Both brutal and beautiful, Imprint is an experience not to be missed. The extras on this DVD make it a pretty easy sell as well.

Disc: There are 6 extras on this disc.

Imprint: I Am The Director of Love and Freedom Takashi Miike is a comprehensive interview with Miike, not just about this film, but about j-horror and its continuing influence in western cinema.

Imprint: Imperfect Beauty is one of the better spfx documentaries I have seen in a while.

Imprint: Imprinting is basically a ‘making of’ but an extraordinarily good one. This doco features interviews with many of the cast and crew including Nadia Vanessa, the dialogue coach who taught most of the actors how to play their parts phonetically, and is incredibly thorough and interesting.

There is a brief but fairly comprehensive biography of director Takashi Miike.

Commentary is by Chris D from American Cinematheque and Wyatt Doyle of NewTexture.com. While these two really had naught to do with this film, the talk-through is informative, and their discussion about the total influence of western to Asian and Asian to western cinema is enlightening and provides some independent insights into the production and decisions made about this film.

DVD-ROM – screensaver and script (Unreviewed as I have no longer have a PC with a disc drive in it)

The DVD was purchased from Ezydvd.

AUDITION aka ǑDISHON (1998)

July 13, 2024 by J.R. in digital retribution review, To Watch Pile and tagged 90s, bluray, horror, j-horror, japanese, jhorror, takashimiike | Leave a comment

*The steelbook cover to Arrow Video’s Audition*

AUDITION aka ǑDISHON (1998)

I first saw Audtion many years ago on a terrible DVD released in Australia that was too dark and muddy and even in such an awful format, it effected me. This Bluray release has none of that and it is an even better watch, as you would expect.

Director Takahashi Miike (Ichi the Killer) has created such a mind blowing psycho-sexual piece of cinema that to stick it in a box marked ‘psychological thriller’ or ‘horror’ is to take away its impact. When first released in Japan in 1999 as Odishon, it was played in such a poor array of dead-end theatres that it whimpered out and looked like it was going to disappear without a trace. Luckily, in 2000, Audition was then picked up for film festivals in both Vancouver and then Rotterdam, where it won both the FIPRESCI prize and the KNF award, and in the following year at Fantsporto in Portugal, it won the International Fantasy Film Award – Special Mention award and was nominated for International Fantasy Film Award.

Based on a story by Ryu Murakami, Audition is the tale of a man, Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi), who, after the death of his wife, finds it hard to meet a new woman. Inspired by comments made by his son, Shigehiko (Tetsu Sawaki), as to how loneliness is making him prematurely age, he embarks on a mission to meet women. Using his position as a video producer he starts a series of auditions for a fictional project.

After looking over many women, he finally meets Asami (Eihi Shiina), whose exquisite delicateness intrigues Aoyama, and her quiet demeanour intrigues him, even though she is close in age to his son.

Asami and Aoyama slowly develop a friendship which blossoms into something more intimate, but after they make love for the first, Asami disappears and Aoyama starts an investigation to find her, but what he finds is that she may not have been telling him the entire truth…

*The seemingly delicate Asami (Eihi Shiina)*

All through this movie there is such a feeling of claustrophobia and discomfort that unlike many films gets right under your skin, as do most of Miike other films. The juxtaposition of moments of quiet beauty and subtle relationship building, combined with some of the shock moments (that I won’t reveal here) are truly amazing. The real trick here is that there are moments of intimacy that are filmed more like claustrophobia than closeness, and that adds to the unsettled nature of this new relationship between the main leads.

Although Miike doesn’t make horror films per say, he is however a reluctant genre film director who has had horror cult status thrust upon him, which is why films like this, and his others like Visitors Q and his comic adaptation Ichi the Killer are such fascinating watches.

This story works so effectively as it doesn’t adhere to stereotypes, as one would expect from a film that didn’t get punched out of the Hollywood thriller cookie cutter. This film reminds me of the first time I read American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis, the combination of subtle day-to-day suddenly flipped on its head. This is a movie that will stick with you for a long time after you watch it.

*The menu screen to the Arrow Video Blu-ray*

Disc: An absolute treasure trove of extras on this disc. I must also point out that the film can be watched with an introduction by Miike.

First, we have two commentaries, The first by director Takashi Miike and screenwriter Diasuke Tengan, and a second by Tom Mes. The first is in Japanese so it is subtitled and is enthusiastic and interesting. The second is performed by Mes, a writer who has written books about Miike’s career. It is interesting but less so that the aforementioned one. It is in English.

There is a series of interview with cast and crew: Takashi Miike, Ryo Ishibashi, Eisis Shiina, Renji Ishibashi and Ren Osugi. These interviews are each quite long and not like the ones you would get from American films with a few sound bytes of actors and directors massaging each other’s egos. These are fascinating insights into the film and each individuals history.

Damaged Romance; An Appreciation by Tony Ry looks both at Miike’s career and specifically the making of this film, and even the history of Japanese genre films.

There are two trailers for the film, one Japanese and the other the international one.

Another useless image gallery.

RING (1998)

July 6, 2024 by J.R. in digital retribution review, To Watch Pile and tagged 90s, bluray, horror, j-horror, japan, jhorror, ring | 1 Comment

*The cover to Arrow’s Ring Bluray, taken from The Ring Collection*

RING (1998)

This is where you start with J-horror, right? This was the one that got us all involved in the late 90s. Ring is the parent that introduced us too all the Japanese horror we ended up craving: The Grudge, Dark Water, Pulse… not to mention directors like Takashi Miike, Hideo Nakata and their contemporaries.

Personally, I think a lot of the increased mainstream love of anime came from that time, as horror fans became more involved in the culture of various Asian countries, it leeched into the regular nerds and normal people via some good and some not so good remakes, and that trickled all the way through pop culture. I pretty much went think the popularity of Junji Ito relates directly to it.

That’s just my observation of the time.

(NB: I’m well aware that there were anime and manga fans before this time, heck I was one of them as I grew up loving Japanese cartoons, which is what they were called before the word ‘anime’ came to western culture properly, but my observations say the world seems to be more into it since 2000. Post COVID and lockdown even more so!

Anyway, enough about my musings. Ring is based on the novel by Kôji Suzuki, with a screenplay by Hiroshi Takahashi. The film was directed by Hideo Nakata, who didn’t not want to be a horror film director, but basically became the spark that turned the west predominantly into j-horror fans.

Ring tells of journalist Reiko Asakawa (Nanako Matsushima), who has started a quite aggressive investigation into the urban myth of a VHS video tape that kills you 7 days after you first watch it, and warns you with a phone call where just the words ‘7days’ are whispered to you. This investigation is so urgent as it has just killed her niece, Tomoko (Yûko Takeuchi).

Asakawa eventually finds the tape, watches it and reveals that the myth may be true, and now she has 7 days to find a ‘cure’ to this spiritual virus that lies within the cassette. She shows he ex-husband the tape and the two of them research the footage on the tape in an attempt to find a cure… this attempt becomes more frantic when her young son also watches the tape.

There research finds a connection to a psychic woman who died many years earlier, and the mystery of her daughter, Sadako (Rei Ino’o)…

There is no doubt that Hideo Nakata has created an almost perfect horror film with this movie. It is weirdly over-dramatic with its acting at times, and borders into pantomime but it somehow all sits correctly. When it came out it was such an extraordinarily different thing, seeing as how the 80s was all about the creation of franchises, a mistake cinema is repeating now with the desperation to find the next Marvel or Star Wars series, and the 90s was predominantly a pop culture wasteland, especially with horror seeing as how self-referential stories became the norm after the popularity of the Scream franchise.

Basically I love this film. After being so disappointed how how awful horror had become in the 90s, this was like a breath of fresh air.

The story itself being a strange take on ‘hauntings’ and ‘curses’ was great, and probably due to the fact that Japan doesn’t have its creepies and crawlies based in Christianity like we still do in the west, judging by the popularity of the Conjuring universe. This added with, at the time, my lack of exposure to Japanese culture in general other than Robotech and Akira, just the different lifestyle, cities et cetera made it a visual feast. I actually name this film as being the thing that made me interested in watching Japanese architecture YouTube channels, especially the ‘tiny apartments’ ones.

I cant recommend this film enough. If you haven’t seen this Japanese ‘Ring’ but have seen the Gore Verbinski remake starring Naomi Watts, still give this a go as it is still a fantastic watch with a few differences in the story.

Disc: This Arrow video disc was available singularly, but also as a part of the Ring Trilogy box set which featured Ring, Ring 2 and Ring 0.

This disc has a bunch of cool extras on it though.

There is an Audio Commentary by David Kalat, author of J-Horror, The Definitive Guide to The Ring, The Grudge and Beyond. His is an enthusiastic commentary which reveals him to be very ‘in’ with the whole J-horror sub genre of horror, even though he has a disclaimer that he doesn’t speak Japanese so some of his pronunciations may be inaccurate.

The Ring Legacy looks at the entire scope of the Ring series, from the source material, to films, to video games and to the western remakes. A real fascinating inside into the entire scope of the series.

A Vicious Circle sees author and critic Kat Ellinger explore director Hideo Nakata’s career and the Rings influence on western horror.

Circumnavigating Ring is a video essay by Alexandra Heller-Nicolas, who here explores the evolution of the series.

Sadako’s Video is an opportunity for us, the film fan, to see the SADAKO video in its complete form… don’t forget to copy it and give it to someone else.

Three ring trailers including 2 for the Ring and Spiral double bill (which have far too groovy a soundtrack considering the subject matter), and a UK Trailer.

There’s also a useless image gallery.

*The image everyone knows: Sadako revealed!!*

This review was done with a copy of the Bluray of Ring taken from Arrow Video’s Ring Collection. Their was purchase from Arrow’s website

Digital Retribution

Horror, sci-fi, action, cult, exploitation, more!

Category Archives: To Watch Pile