NIGHT SWIM (2024)

The Australian BD release of Night Swim

NIGHT SWIM (2024)

Even though I am quite regularly critical of both Blumhouse Pictures and James Wan, I still like to give their new products a go. Just like Marvel and DC and Star Wars movies, I know the product is going to be generic claptrap with little imagination involved, but I’m still prepared and wait in hope that either of them might actually make something that is actual horror, and not just nonsensical pablum based in some kind of weird and archaic fear of the occult.

I mean come on people, are you REALLY afraid of The Conjuring and Insidious films?!?

Anyway, this film is the directorial debut of Bryce McGuire who based this on a short film he made 10 years earlier with his writing partner, Rod Blackhurst. Ill give one thing to McGuire, from the extras on this disc he is an enthusiastic filmmaker and hopefully will be given another chance in the future to actually make something good.

Oh, did I just bury the lead?

Ray (Wyatt Russell) and Eve (Kerry Condon)

Night Swim tells the tale of Ray Waller (Wyatt Russell), a former pro-baseball player who has had to retire from playing due to an illness. He and his wife, Eve (Kerry Condon), and children Izzy (Amelie Hoeferie) and Elliot (Gavin Warren) are house hunting and find a place that is a little rundown but has a pool that is potentially a great option for Ray as hydrotherapy could really help him out…

… and help him out it does! Over a very short period, Ray seems to be improving rapidly, even down to a deep cut on his hand miraculously disappearing after the family cat goes missing… coincidence? Maybe…

As Ray gets better though, his behaviour starts to change and the rest of the family all have strange occurrences with the pool happen to them individually which makes them all start to fear the back yard entertainment area.

At a pool party, the real estate agent tells Eve that she found out that in 1992 and young girl drowned in the pool, and after some research, she discovers a series of events that put the pool in a dark light… and after meeting the parent of the drowning victim, she decides she needs to get the family out asap before something bad happens to them…

The original natural spring from where the pool comes.

This is an interesting film insomuch as whilst watching the film all this sounds feasible but when you recount the tale to another person (or in a review) it sounds fucking ridiculous. There’s been some pretty obtuse ideas of haunted items and while this isn’t necessarily haunted per se, it does have a freaky backstory that doesn’t sound slightly feasible outside the confines of its universe.

I guess thats what most films are like but this seemed really more apparent than a lot of other horror films.

The performances of the cast was mostly fine, with Condon and Russell really being the foundations of the whole thing, though there were a few characters that didn’t really hold up in the greater scheme of things as they almost seemed like parody, especially the mother of the drowned girl who came across more like a joke version of a j-horror character from a Scary Movie film.

There’s something or someONE in the skimmer box

I do have to give the director some credit for the underwater scenes which were mostly shot very well and really had a decent selection of scares to them. Some really nice combinations of knowing something is there and then it disappearing to a clever effect. Actually for the most part the entire film was shot really well.

One other thing, and this is me being a bit picky, but I built pools for a few years and my step-dad owned a pool company for about 25 years and in all that time I had never heard of the type of pool that they talk about in this film; this freshwater pool. Sure it’s a piece of fiction but it just stuck out as weird for me. If anyone had heard of pools with this design and filtration, I’d be happy to hear about it.

I do have to say that i found it interesting that the local school was named ‘Harold Holt’ – not a name you would expect in an American film, especially one to have a school in his name, but certainly a name you would expect to find in a story about drowning.

This is one of those films that are a good idea stretched into an overlong space. I feel that scenes of ‘killer pools’ in things like Burnt Offerings or even Poltergeist’s corpse filled hole are really effective but I’m not sure it translates to a full feature.

The menu screen for the Australian BD release

Disc: The are a bunch of extras on this disc:

Masters of Fear sees members of the cast and crew suckling from the teat of James Wan and Jason Blum. It is full of the usual ‘foundations of modern horror’ crap that these sorts of ego rubs are full of when in actual fact these blockbuster horrors are no different from the stuff Disney is producing: safe and digestible horror movies.

Demon from the Depths looks at the costumes of the things that ‘live’ in the pool, which are pretty amazing.

Into The Deep explores filming in a water environment.

Marco Polo looked at the ‘Marco Polo’ scene and how the filmmakers idea was to ‘spoil’ the household swimming pool just like Jaws spoilt the beach.

There is also a very enthusiastic commentary by the director which is a fascinating insight into his methods of direction.

There’s something worse than an ear infection in this pool!

This film was purchased from JB Hi-Fi.

THE OWNERS (2020)

The cover of the Australian release of The Owners

THE OWNERS (2020)

A lot of the time my interest in a film is based on the actors in it more than anything else. I’m not talking about blockbusters here either, sometimes it is those weird little films that slip under the radar that have character actors who wouldn’t necessarily appear in a film of that type.

This film, The Owners, provided me with the thrill of two TV actors that I would never in a million years would have ever suspected appear in a film together: Maisie Williams from Game of Thrones, and former Doctor Who from the 1980s, Sylvester McCoy. (Ok, I guess they were both in Doctor Who but their appearances were about 30 years apart)

The Owners was directed by Julius Berg, who also co-wrote the script with Mathieu Gompel and Geoff Cox, and was based on the graphic novel, Une Nuit de Plene Lune by Hermann Huppen and Yves H.

The graphic novel ‘Une Nuit de Pleine Lune’

The film takes place in the UK, where Mary (Williams) is frustrated as her boyfriend, Nathan (Ian Kenny) has not returned her car so she can get to work. She finds him with two of his mates, Terry (Andrew Ellis) and someone unknown to her, Gaz (Jake Curran) is her car, stoned, and casing the house of the town doctor, Richard Huggins (McCoy) and his wife, Ellen (Rita Tushingham)

Mary (Maisie Williams) and Nathan (Ian Kenny)

They have been observing the house for a while and have the inclination to rob it as Terry’s mother, Jean (Stacia Hicks) told him casually that there was a big safe in the basement.

The boys break in and find the safe, leaving Mary outside waiting in the car, only to find that its an old safe that they don’t have the tools to

open, so the only answer is to wait for the elderly Doctor to return.

Nathan (Ian Kenny) and Terry (Andrew Ellis) aren’t cracking it

Mary gets frustrated after waiting for a while and is coaxed inside by Nathan, only to be horrified by their intentions, and when the couple do arrive home, things go from bad to worse as the Huggins’, tied to chairs in the basement, refuse to open the safe door…

Mrs. and Dr. Huggins (Rita Tushingham and Sylvester McCoy

I remember seeing From Dusk Til Dawn for the first time and being stunned by the sudden gear shift from crime movie to vampire movie and whilst the gear shift isn’t as sudden, it is a breath of fresh air in a world of superhero sequels, Star Wars expansions and remakes. Sure it does riff on a few other films which i wont mention here as they will give the story away slightly, but the performances really sell it.

McCoy and Tushingham are delightful as the old couple, and remain endearing through the course of their performances no matter what they do; Tushingham in particular is amazing with her tragic dementia patient. Williams and Kenny play the couple whose relationship dissolves before our eyes really well and Ellis’ Terry is as frustrating a coward as ever.

The real villain of the piece is Curran’s Gaz, whose performance is straight out of an early Guy Ritchie flick and is more as more unlikable as his character is revealed. Its been a while since Ive seen a film where I’ve actively disliked a character and Curran really nails the wannabe hard man in this.

This was one of those pleasant surprises that really made me happy to have taken a $19 chance on a film I know nothing about except for some of the cast. Fantastic. Get on it.

The menu screen for the Australian DVD release

Disc: Surprising these days for a DVD in Australia, there actually is a couple of extras, even though its not much.

Behind the Scenes looks at the set up for some of the scenes in the film. It doesn’t go for very long and there isn’t any commentary on it but some of it is fascinating to see.

Interviews is a brief series of interviews with writer/ director Julius Berg, producers Alain De La Mata and Christopher Granier-Deferre, Maisie Williams, Sylvester McCoy, Rita Tushingham, Andrew Ellis, Jake Curran and Ian Kenny. Its just a fluff piece really but interesting to hear the cast and crews perspectives of the story.

If Gaz (Jake Curran) doesn’t quit dope, he might get hammered

FINDERS KEEPERS (2014)

Cover of the Bluray for Finders Keepers (2014)

FINDERS KEEPERS (2014)

I don’t always research a film I’ve not heard of before reviewing. I find that if I know too much up front it could influence my opinion of the film so I’ll make a point of avoiding anything about it. The reason that, at the time of viewing, that I decided to grab this movie on Bluray was due to mainly two things: Jaime Pressly, whom I’ve alway had a bit of a bitchy-high-school-girl-who’d-spit-on-me-rather-than-talk-to-me crush on, and Tobin Bell… the Jigsaw Killer himself: how could I resist them.

What I found out afterwards was that in the few months that I’d taken break from writing for Digital Retribution, I’d become a rube. Not only had these two names influenced my purchase, but I’d spent good money on a ten year old, made for TV film.

Kylie Rogers and Jaime Pressly

Sigh. I’ve lost my edge.

Too many Marvel and DC films have dulled my keen mind.

Finders Keepers starts with a flashback to a boy, possessed by something, and OBVIOUSLY possessed as his eyes are completely black, on a killing spree… flash forward to now, when young recently separated single mum, Alyson Simon (Jaime Pressly) and her daughter, Claire (Kylie Rogers) move to a small country town and into an unfeasibly big house for whatever wage a single mum is pulling from seemingly doing nothing.

Since the separation, though, Claire has become reserved and introverted, and not even kindly psychologist Dr Freeman (Tobin Bell) can help her, especially considering her entire being seems to be focused on an ugly toy doll that she found in the house.

Weird doll alert!

Fairly quickly, weird things start happening, like crazy cat lady Janine (Marina Sirtis) find her cats killed in her back yard, and Claire violently freaks out whenever she is separated from the doll, and not even help from her dad, and script-driven white knight, Jonathon Simon (Patrick Muldoon) can save the day.

Things escalate quickly as the film only goes for a thankfully brief 98 minutes, but who will survive? How will the police excuse the fact that it seems that a single mum is beating her child and that a child seems to be committing murder?

Only the Syfy network can answer those questions…

So as you can see by the plot synopsis, the only thing that this film brings to the table is… um… I guess, absolutely nothing. Stock standard ‘doll possession’ movie that is so cookie cutter I’m surprised it’s not made by Arnotts.

Tobin Bell and Pressly

That’s not the REALLY awful thing about it though. The script is what a B movie fan would expect, as is the plot, but if you want to talk about miscasting, this film is a TED Talk on it. Jaime Pressly is wonderful, in anything else. In this, she swans around looking spectacular and not at all like a caring mother concerned for her child. Patrick Muldoon feels like he’s not playing a estranged dad role, but instead is playing Kevin Bacon, playing an estranged dad role. Tobin Bell as the psychologist, and this may be a typecast thing, seems like a murderer posing as a doctor, which would have been an amazing plot twist! Finally, Marina Sirtis as the crazy street cat-lady must have been identified as unconvincing during the script run-through as her obsession is more based around all the ‘cat’ icons in her house rather than her performance.

What is the real shame is that Rogers, as the daughter, is the only one convincing in this whole debacle. She holds her own quite well whilst the rest of the cast wander around wearing the shoes of people who didn’t get cast. Honestly, Muldoon would have been better as the doctor so at least their could have been some temptation for Pressly’s character in the town rather than an old guy who sounds like he has a sex dungeon and the bedside manner of an undertaker.

I’ve decided that what I am going to do with this film is bury it in the floorboards of my house, so in many years time when a new family come in, or a single mum with her daughter, one of them will find it and they’ll hunt down one of those old ‘Bluray player’ things and get obsessed by it…

… though I’m pretty sure they just cry out ‘what the hell is this crap’ and rebury it like the stale old bone that it is.

Menu screen for Finders Keepers

Extras: No extras on this Bluray.

Marina Sirtis… Deanna Troi didn’t see THAT coming!

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

The Umbrella release of Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

Why?

It’s a question I ask myself a lot in regards to movies.

For example, why the HELL does a horror movie starring Winnie the Pooh exist? Is it because of the fandom behind the video game Five Nights at Freddy’s, and the strange horror films with nostalgic/ childish themes of Willy’s Wonderland and The Banana Splits? More likely it was because the rights to the characters become public domain on the 1st January 2022, and even though Disney have the rights to their depiction of the characters, they can’t really control anything that anyone else wants to do… including writer/ director Rhys Frake-Waterfield, who claimed in an Instagram post ‘that’s what I’m try to do, ruin everybody’s childhood!’

I don’t know about you, but I can smell the soiled nappy of Enfant terrible!

The excellent thing about this film is it is actually a sequel to all of A. A. Mine’s original stories, with some embellishments.

Mary (Paula Coiz) and Christopher Robin (Nikolai Leon) smell some Pooh.

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey tells of Christopher Robin (Nikolai Leon) who as a child met some strange half human, half animal creatures, Owl, Rabbit, Eeyore, Piglet and Winnie the Pooh, in 100 Acre Wood, whom he befriended and everyday took them food and played with them… but little boys grow up and eventually, Christopher left them to fend for themselves, but they had lost their animalistic instincts, and on one particularly hungry night, killed Eeyore and ate him. This effected them so badly that they swore they would never ever talk to a human ever again.

Many years later, Christopher takes his fiancé Mary (Paula Coiz) back to prove to her that every story he had told her about his childhood was true, but after Piglet (Chris Cordell) murders her, and he and Winnie the Pooh (Craig David Dowsett) take Christopher prisoner, they start a rampage which includes a local house which has had recently had a group of young women have moved in for a short holiday, getting away from the pressure of the real world and the digital age.

Lara (Natasha Tosini) is about to be in even hotter water!

This film has one thing that is quite frustrating about it: the premise is so damned stupid that you want to hate it and as a gory monster movie… we’ll, it’s actually not that bad! It does the simple thing of filling itself full of standard horror tropes as they obviously expected that such an idea would be thought of as ridiculous. Also, in it making the 100 Acre Wood animals just men in masks, the need for the sense of disbelief that would be required for animatronics or stop motion is bypassed, and we can just get into the ideas of the story and the 100 mile-an-hour gore and violence.

I’ll just double down on what I claimed too: the masks look like something Trick or Treat Studios would produce to piss of Disney, and they are just whacked onto the heads of monstrously sized actors (well they appear to be, whether they are or not could be a trick of the camera) and the buffoonishly friendly faces belie the terror that they can cause. This juxtaposition of childhood memories and adult violence are off-putting and really make them terrifying. The effects are on point too, with some really strange bits with Pooh’s friendly face being coated in blood as he dispatches another human.

The gore is frequent and often

The acting is, well, classic horror trope-ish as well, with a combination of actual decent actors, and people who can read words but are attractive, so being convincing is just a side product. I can’t imagine any of the people in the film will ever be concerned about this being on their resume when they are accepting their Oscar.

The music and set pieces are top notch and make this weird film weirder. The 100 Acre Woods are flat out bizarre, and some of the other sets, like the abandoned garage, are places that I would have be unsettled by even if I was just the location scout. The soundtrack matches the odd places as well, confirming the location’s odd look with its soundscape.

The story of converting the legend of Pooh and his friends is quite clever, with starvation and abandonment being their motivations for being killers, and this is well incorporated into what proves itself to be a well-made slasher/ monster movie… I’m still not quite sure which as it on one hand it’s like a Frankenstein movie, but on the other, seems like Texas Chain Saw Massacre, or The Hills Have Eyes. Maybe seeing as it does have the ‘remote violent family’ thing happening, it’s more a hillbilly horror movie.

I think if I must make the comparison to another movie, it would be Wrong Turn. It’s got that 70s/ 80s remoteness vibe to it, but certainly is a modern take on it. The addition of Winnie the Pooh seems more like an afterthought to an existing script to give it notoriety and attention, but it slides right in like a knife between the ribs.

To its detriment, it does somehow feel like it goes on a little too long. Is it because it’s a joke that outstays it’s welcome? Maybe, but it took me several sittings to get through it.

Despite that, I did have a lot of fun watching this film, but I think without the Pooh references it would be easily forgotten. It’s good, but like many horror movies of this type, I think it might fade quite quickly and be one of those ‘yeah, I think I saw that like ten years ago’ movies.

The menu screen to the Umbrella Entertainment release

There’s some interesting stuff amongst the extras on this Australian Bluray release of the film.

Behind the Scenes is literally just some shot-on-phone footage of on-set ways of making the movie. No information, no commentary, just stuff that happened. There’s not a great deal of interest here. It’s probably a nice keepsake for those who worked on the film.

Bloopers is just what it says on the box. As with the above extra, the people who worked on the film would possibly find it funnier than we, the viewers.

Winnie the Pooh – Violins and Honey is actually a fascinating piece… it’s a piece that will also make you say ‘why?’ but it’s interesting nevertheless. For some reason, composer Andrew Scott Bell and his manager Mike Rosen travel to an apiary as they had heard that a company called Violin Torture had set a violin in a hive to see if bees would use it, and Bell wanted to use the violin on the soundtrack. This is their story.

Fan Art is a 30 second slideshow of some fan art for the movie.

There is also a trailer for the film.

This disc also features an audio commentary, which I didn’t find until later as it’s in the ‘set up’ menu option rather than the ‘extras. The commentary is with writer/ director Rhys Frake-Waterfield and cinematographer Vince Knight. It’s a very engaging commentary with discussions about budget and even the release date and it’s competitor releases.

The film was reviewed using the Australian release Bluray, purchased from JB Hifi.

Seriously, if you have this much blood on your Pooh, seek medical advice!

Renfield (2023)

The Australian Bluray release of Renfield

Renfield (2023)

Disc: Of all the things in the world I never though I’d need, like an underwater car, or a parrot, or skydiving lessons, Nicholas Cage as Dracula was certainly amongst them, but now I’m starting to look at that list… do I want to drive underwater, would a pet bird be fun and is plummeting to my almost certain death from an aeroplane things I DO need, because Cage as Dracula is most definitely something that made me happy.

Renfield was written by Ryan Ripley, based on a treatment by Invincible and The Walking Dead’s Robert Kirkman, and was directed by Chris McKay, best known as the director of the incredibly popular The Lego Batman Movie (2017). Is he the right guy for a horror movie? Well no, but he is certainly right for this amusing look at Dracula and his henchman Renfield.

This film has an interesting take of the legend of Dracula as its told from the point of view of his interred assistant, Renfield (Nicholas Hoult).

Hoult as Renfield

This tale takes place in modern day, and after a small recounting of his life as Dracula’s slave (told with some fun deep-fakery with Bela Lugosi’s Dracula film from the 30s) we get stuck right into it as we find Renfield at a support group in New Orleans. This support group is one to help those in abusive relationships, and whilst Renfield initially uses it as a way to find people who ‘deserve’ to be fed to Dracula, he finds some of the stories resonating and that he himself is in an abusive relationship with his master.

Cage as Dracula

Before that though, we find Renfield helping one of the group members who has been abused by her drug dealer boyfriend, who has stolen drugs from the Lobo crime family. On the same night he goes to get him to feed Dracula, the son of the crime family matriarch, Teddy (Ben Schwartz) has delivered an assassin to kill the dealer/thieves and so Renfield finds himself in a three way fight.

By the way, I should point out that Renfield gains temporary super powers whenever he eats a bug, which leads to some funny and gross moments in the film.

The resulting bloodshed results in the police getting involved, and we find cop Rebecca (Awkwafina) hot on the tail of Teddy, to try and avenge her father, a cop killed by the Lobo family.

Awkwafina as Rebecca

Renfield quickly finds an ally in Rebecca and in response, and in a petty relationship moment that many of us have endured, Dracula finds himself as a volunteer in the Lobo crime family! So what happens when a crime family, the police and an ancient evil collide? Bloodshed, of course… lots and lots of it.

I like to say I am not a big fan of the horror/ comedy sub-genre, but considering I rate Return of the Living Dead, Shaun of the Dead and Reanimator high on my favourite movies list, I should probably stop saying that. Whilst Renfield doesn’t hit the heights of those three, it is a fun take of the legend of Dracula.

Nicholas Hoult as Renfield is obviously the prime character in the film, and he does the stuttering, doddering Englishman role to a T, to the point I occasionally thought he was doing an impression of Hugh Grant. His nervousness and jittery characterisation of Renfield is a fantastic juxtaposition to the super powered, blood machine that he becomes after eating a bug.

Nic Cage as Dracula is obviously the standout in the film. An actor who seemingly has become a conscious parody of himself in the past ten years has really shone him in this role, as he adapts so many affectations of various other Dracula films including Nosferatu, Bela Lugosi’s performance and even his own uncle’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula film from the 90s. He chews up every scene and delivers both the threat and the laughs with an equal amount of gusto. Honestly, the conscious parody has actually benefitted him in this performance.

Awkwafina is surprising in the cop role, riffing a little bit of Samuel L. Jackson (but there’s not Bats on a mother fucking Plane here) with her foul-mouthed, no nonsense, shouty, abusive, bullying cop. Her and Hoult share a few amazing action sequence too which stand out as high points in both the violence and the comedy stake.

On that: the film has a great look to it and the New Orleans backdrop for the crime family is fantastic. Many of the set pieces are perfect, including the Lobo family torture chamber, and the hospital that Renfield and Dracula have holed up in, abandoned after a major disaster but taking place of a gothic domicile and looking like a run down castle fits perfectly. The fight scenes are also spectacularly silly, and even have a Marvel/ superhero film ridiculousness to it, but with more blood than I care to even be able to understand. There’s SO much I’m sure, even after watching the making-of stuff, that at least some of it MUST have not been practical.

I can comfortably see this in a regular rotation in my re-watch list of films. It’s heaps of fun and tells an interesting tale about abusive relationships, and Cage’s Dracula is spectacularly amazing.

The Australian Bluray menu screen

We have a lot of extras on this Australian Bluray release.

There a big set of Deleted and Extended Scenes and a few Alternate Takes as well. As I usually say, the film was neither better nor suffered without them, and the takes used in the film were clearly the best.

Dracula UnCaged looks at Cage’s performance as Dracula, with commentary from co-stars and crew, along with his own affection for the role, based on a childhood love of Nosferatu (1922) and right through to being an adult fan of vampire films. Cage recounts his performance via his personal history with the craft of acting, and with that of his family’s experience with making vampire films.

Monsters and Men: Behind the Scenes of Renfield discusses at the motivation of the film, and its origins and execution. They breakdown everything from the look of the film to the costumes and everything else, all in under 15 minutes!

Stages of Rejuvenation is an interesting look at the make up effects on Cage’s face.

Flesh and Blood looks at the practical effects of the film which surprised me. I had to go back and rewrite a part of this very review because I assumed by the amount of blood that it was CGI and it wasn’t!

Fighting Dirty unpacks the ridiculous and amazing fight scenes that are scrappy and comic-booky but oh-so-violent in there execution!

The Making of a Deleted Scene: Renfield’s Dance is interesting but essentially superfluous as the sequence didn’t make it into the film. I appreciate that they included it as it would be frustrating for all involved if it didn’t get seen at all.

Feature Commentary with Producer Samantha Nisenboim, Screenwriter Ryan Ridley and Crew (they do list themselves at the beginning of the commentary but they shoot out there names so quickly I couldn’t catch them all) is spectacularly enthusiastic and really informative.

Did I mention it’s got some blood and gore in it?

M3GAN (2022)

The cover to the Australian Bluray release of M3GAN.

M3GAN (2022)

If James Wan has kids, I feel sorry for them because the man clearly has an issue with dolls in the house. From Dead Silence, to the Annabelle films and now M3GAN, the poor man clearly has some residual childhood trauma based around a doll of some sort.

As a younger sibling, I bet he has an older sister!

M3GAN was written by Akela Cooper, who wrote Malignant (which I really liked) based on Wan’s story, and was directed by Gerard Johnstone, who also directed the quirky New Zealand horror tale Housebound and tells of 9 year old Cady (Violet McGraw), who lost her parents in a tragic car accident and has been made the ward of her aunt, Gemma (Allison Williams) who works for the toy company, Funki and is the creator of the popular app-based toy, PerPetual Pets.

Gemma (Allison Williams) isn’t very good at life, real or artificial

Gemma is somewhat of a loner and is ill-prepared for parenthood, and so she revisits her design for a virtual friend called ‘M3GAN’ (Amie Donald as the body, Jenna Davis as the voice and various special effects models) whom she imprints Cady onto so they can become best of friends. M3GAN’s programming allows her to grow and adapt to her environment, and her AI adjusts to suit the owner’s needs, including education and protection.

Cady (Violet McGraw)

Unfortunately, Cady becomes far too dependent on M3GAN, and more worryingly, M3GAN’s comprehension of her ‘protective’ programming becomes far more literal and those who hurt or cross Cady end up in M3GAN’s crosshairs, with deadly results…

Model 3 Generative Android aka M3GAN

The film sits firmly in those ‘evil doll’ sub-genre of horror films, even though the technological aspect probably is rarer than the ‘possessed by a demon’ idea as in Annabelle or Dolly Dearest. It doesn’t offer much new, as in the threat of the doll is the cornerstone of the story, and even the technological aspect has been used before in things like Small Soldiers, and more recently in 2019’s Child’s Play remake.

I feel this film really is influenced by what I’ve observed in working retail and the way some parents parent their children these days. The misunderstanding of Gemma of what it is to be to be a parent, and to just hand a child something like an iPad and hope they are ok is so prevalent in society that to me, it’s borderline child abuse. Some children are so absorbed with their devices that they no longer become aware of an outside world: I work in a toy store and it horrifies me when I see kids not look up from their screens to look at the toys.

The cast in this film are a perfect fit. McGraw is comfortable in her role as a child… funnily enough she is one… and manages the emotional movement from mourning to obsessive as a more mature actor would. Williams, who I loved in Jordan Peele’s Get Out, is fabulous in her clearly out of her depth sudden parent role, who is not managing to maintain a work/ life balance. A special shout out has to go to Ronny Chieng as David, Gemma’s boss who quite frankly, is a massive arsehole, and he plays it to a T: that ambition Xennial type who sacrifices relationships for financial status.

The real winner cast member though is M3GAN herself. The special effects are fabulous and the menacing looks from what is essentially a blank slate shows a subtlety that stands above. The physical presence of Donald with some of the strange dances and bodily contortions really speak to the characterisation as well. Davis’ voice talents as M3GAN’s again, like the face, have a underlying threat to almost everything she says.

The character is such a striking image that the use of her in the viral Tik Tok-styled dance advertising was the perfect storm of weird and hard to look away from.

The film also seems to be lining up a couple of toy companies, even actually the entire toy industry, in its sights, from the frankly crass advertisement that the film opens with for the PerPetual Pet that emulates the awful fad toys that toy companies continue to force upon parents, especially with the advent of influencers who are claiming to be anti-corporate or ‘green’ whilst showing off the latest piece of plastic crap they were ‘gifted’ by the companies for ‘review purposes’, to what seems to be the direct targeting of Funko, of Funko Pop (TM) fame, with the company name ‘Funki’.

I wanted to like this film, and I believe I have a simmering affection for it due to the characters rather than the story, which let’s face it, is simply too late! As mentioned before, the remake of Child’s Play in 2019 certainly offered the idea of a fully interactive electronic toy as the villain and even though the much-loved Aubrey Plaza and Mark Hamill are in it, it was poorly received. This is certainly a better film than that but that doesn’t make it a good film, thoigh it is a fun and easy-to-watch distraction with some solid performances.

This disc comes with two different versions of the film, a theatrical, and the incorrectly named ‘Unrated’ version (incorrectly named as it quite clearly says <MA15+> on the cover) which has a little more gore and a few extra bits of swearing, because you know, the difference between a film for adults and one for teenagers is how often the word ‘fuck’ is said. Ridiculous. Funnily enough, the unrated, gorier version is shorter because with the gore added back in, the scenes of tension didn’t need to be in place so those scenes are shorter.

The menu screen to the Bluray release of M3GAN

Disc: There are only three extras on this disc:

A New Vision of Horror is the occasionally slightly embarrassing ‘oh, he’s the master of modern horror’ pieces that these things have on them.

Bringing life to M3GAN looks at the special effects and the young artist who played the title role, and how the rest of the cast reacted to them.

Getting Hacked is not about you PC, but a look an the gore and violence in the film and how it was executed.

This film was reviewed on the Australian Bluray release, purchased from JB Hifi.

M3GAN on the workbench

Smile (2022)

The cover to the Australian Bluray release of Smile

Smile (2022)

Trauma is a terrible thing and can effect the lives of people who witness or suffer from some kind of event permanently. Horror films are your best source of finding characters flawed by what ever it was that came to them and essentially broke them. These characters with trauma in them will do either doing one of two things: try to escape the trauma that effected them, like in the Nightmare on Elm St films where the parents choose to ignore their murder of paedophile child-killer Freddy Krueger, or they embrace it, like in the original Friday the 13th where Mrs Voorhees deals with the death of her son by murdering other kids, spreading her pain amongst many.

This film, Smile, based on the short film Laura Hasn’t Slept by Parker Finn is certainly a film about trauma, both historical family trauma, and the horrific trauma of a supernatural event.

Susie Bacon as Rose Cotter

Smile tells of psychiatrist, Rose Cotter (Susie Bacon) a passionate hospital psychiatrist who attempts to help a freshly arrived impatient, Laura (Caitlin Stasey) who claims to be being followed by an entity that can appear as anyone and has a horrifying smile. Laura’s has what seems to be a seizure and her behaviour causes a vase to be knocked over, she quickly recovers and smiles weirdly at Rose just before slicing her own throat open with a broken piece of the vase.

Caitlin Stasey as Laura

Laura had shared that she had felt this way since saw someone commit suicide by beating themselves to death with a hammer, whilst smiling, and this clue causes Rose to befriend police officer Joel (Kyle Gallner) who is her only help after she starts hallucinating, and alienating her boyfriend, Trevor (Jessie T. Usher), her sister Holly (Gillian Zisner) and her family.

Results of a hammer-based suicide

Together, they start to investigate the mystery of the smiling suicides, and after she is forced to take leave from work for erratic behaviour, she has plenty of time to do so, but the worse the hallucinations get, the more deranged she becomes. Will she survive whatever it is that is happening to her?

The first thing that really struck me about this film was the absolutely magnificent cinematography of every scene. First, some of the tracking shots are a magnificent combination of photography and CGI. One that springs to mind is when the character of Laura is admitted to the hospital, the camera looks down at her ambulance pulling up and her being extracted from it, then tracks up the building before becoming parallel to a window, which it then enters and a new scene begins. It’s almost seamless and a great segue. Finn also has this great sense of mise-en-scêne in so much as everything in the film is so deliberately placed and the choreography of each scene has a great sense of distance and segregation; was this due to covid? Perhaps, but it also increased the sense of solitude for the main character.

There was a lot of brave choices made, perhaps through the same reason, but there are so many facial close ups of the cast. It’s a brave choice for the cast to agree to have their faces appear on screen so big as modern cameras don’t allow for any imperfections to be hidden, but it also is to great effect, and the just a position of the agoraphobic images of distance mixed with the claustrophobia of the close ups keep the audience unsettled.

I think the cast are fantastic in the film with only one exception. Bacon is fabulous and her descent from highly-motivated professional to seemingly deranged person is palpable. Both male leads Usher and Gallner play their parts to a T, and even when they appear in various delusions they are solid. The highlights for me were Rose’s therapist, played by Robin Weigert, whose smile even haunts MY dreams and Caitlin Stasey, who played Laura, the first person encountered with ‘the problem’ who is so catlike in her skittishness that her fear can be tasted! My only disappointment in the film was, in my mind, the miscast Kal Penn, an actor who in some roles I thoroughly enjoy, but he seemed out of place here somehow.

The look and the design of the film are solid, and the soundtrack by Cristobal Tapia de Veer keeps the viewer on edge the entire time. The film has a really great two first acts, but starts to fall apart at the in the third. I don’t know exactly what I would have done different though, as normally I may have an idea of how I would prefer a film to end, but I just cannot put my finger on it. Maybe if I watch it a few more times I will be able to work it out, but for now, I would rather watch something like It Follows again, a similar in theme film that worked far better in my mind.

The menu screen from the Australian Bluray release of Smile

Disc: There’s a nice collection of extras on this Blu-ray Disc:

The Commentary by writer/ director Parker Finn is fascinating as it’s always great to listen to a commentary by someone who clearly loves the genre and what they have accomplished.

Something’s Wrong With Rose is an actual making of (and not a ten minute self appreciating love fest like many of them) that goes for almost 30 minutes and discusses the evolution of the short film Laura Hasn’t Slept, starring Lew Temple and Caitlin Stasey, especially considering it was during the pandemic (remember that thing) that preproduction started.

Flies on the Wall: Inside the Score is some dialogue-less images of how the sounds used for the soundscapes in the soundtrack were created. Akin to films like Saw, these are less music and more moods created with various atypical instruments to what a traditional music score would be. On the The Black Film Bluray, Scott Derrickson describes the soundtrack to his film as ‘childhood trauma’… Cristobal Tapia de Veer, the composer of this film has done the same thing, but different. As a soundtrack on vinyl collector I appreciate the moods created, but I couldn’t imagine ever listening just to the soundtrack.

There are two deleted scenes, one a far too long scene where Rose has a panic attack and sees ‘something’, and the other has Rose talking to Joel after visiting a victim of the thing. The first scene reveals the threat far too early in the film and would have lessened the impact of it, and the second is a two minute bit of fluff, character development that shows off the acting chops of the two leads but is unnecessary really in the grander scope of the film. Both scenes have commentary by Finn.

Laura Hasn’t Slept is the short film written and directed by Finn, starring Lew Temple and Caitlin Stasey about a young woman visiting her psychiatrist because she is afraid of sleeping, but finds that all is not what it seems. It’s a well cast and beautifully made short film that for just didn’t quite cut it as far as the story goes. Yes, I appreciate that there’s not going to be indepth character development in a ten minute film, but it’s more a card trick: what you have been presented with initially isn’t actually what’s happening and at the end you go ‘huh, clever’ and the impression left is the skill of the magician, not the content of the trick.

This film was reviewed with the Australian released Bluray purchased from Jb Hifi.

Rose’s Mum definitely does NOT have it going on.

The Menu (2022)

The cover the the Australian Bluray release of The Menu

The Menu (2022)

It’s weird how some movies can be sold to you by your friends and colleagues.

I had vaguely heard about The Menu, and being my workplaces ‘horror guy’, I was constantly being asked if I had seen it, and if I’m honest, I resisted because I was being told how good it was by people who think The Conjuring and Insidious are horror high-points, which I do not!

I did have two people offer me advice that I did take though. One was my daughter, and considering I moulded her love of horror, I trust her opinions, and the other comment was a single sentence that should have been the tagline: Two X-men and Luigi Mario Vs Voldemort.

I’m joking of course. The Menu had actually been on my radar for a while. After the Netflix series The Queen’s Gambit, I had fallen in love with Anya Taylor-Joy and Nicholas Hoult is someone I am a fan of as well. The concept of Ralph Fiennes playing a hyper-obsessed celebrity chef also hit high on my ‘interest-o-meter’.

The film was directed by Mark Myloid, who directed episodes of Shameless and Game of Thrones, as well as the Ali G Indahouse and was written by Seth Reiss and Will Tracy, both of whom have a varied history working on late night and comedy shows, and the dry sense of humour and parody is certainly in full effect in this film.

Anya Taylor-Joy as Margot

The Menu tells of Tyler (Hoult) as obsessed foodie who, along with his partner, Margot (Taylor-Joy) have managed to secure a reservation at the very exclusive restaurant, Hawthorn, a restaurant on an island by executive chef, Chef Julian Slowik (Fiennes) and his staff who live on the secluded island, and forage for food in the immediate environment. Along with other guests, they make their way by boat.

Ralph Fiennes as Chef Julian Slowik

Else (Hong Chau) the severe maître d’hôtel, offers all the guests a tour of the island, pointing out that Margot is not Tyler’s original guest, and questions her reasons for being on the island.

The guests take their seats and the food starts appearing, with an explanation as to its reason for existence by Chef Slowik. The food is pompous and part of the chef’s greater plan for the evening, but it is not to Margot’s taste, and her lack of respect for the dishes is intruding on Tyler’s enjoyment.

The dinner continues and is an extreme degustation, with obviously made-for-the-art-rather-than-the-taste (and also contains some scandalous revelations), but when one of the young sous-chef commits suicide as part of the spectacle of the fourth course, in front of the guests, the whole event takes a sudden, but not unexpected, left turn.

Beautiful food styling and cinematography, and a wry description

To say I was surprised by how much I liked this film is an understatement. Whilst I can’t see it being a regular rewatcher, it certainly is a film that simmers its horrific elements of obsession, murder and death with a drop of poking fun at foodies and celebrity chef culture… perhaps all sub-cultures that end up with obsessive fanbases to great effect.

The thing about being obsessive is the ritual of obsession. Most people who have an obsession receive a dopamine hit from the ritual of obtaining ‘the thing’ rather than the actual thing itself, and this film certainly delves into that, and using a meal, which is a ritual as well, with its food prep, setting of the table, sitting at ‘your’ seat, et cetera, is the perfect scenario.

The design of the film is so well thought out as everything on the island that Slowik’s restaurant sits is representative of his personality, as is the food he serves. Apparently the director kept two camera running at all times, and all the cast were on set constantly so the background constantly was an organic thing.

The direction on this film is truly remarkable. The actors seem to have been given a lot of leeway to try new things and it certainly makes for a living breathing thing, rather than a series of set pieces. So often even though he has a foreground thing happening, the actors in the background are still being effected by a previous event.

The actor all certainly rise to their roles too. Hoult and Taylor-Joy are magnificent in their roles, and as their relationship is revealed, their attitudes towards each other become more apparent. The other diners are all fabulous in their roles as well, from the bored rich wife Judith Day to the has-been actor John Leguizamo, they all sit wonderfully as ingredients in this film. Fiennes sits on top of this heap as the master of events and he truly commands every scene he is in, both as actor and character.

Special note must go to Chau as the cold Maître D Elsa, truly a revelation in her role as the dedicated acolyte of Slowik’s cult-like staff.

One other thing I found interesting about this film is that I think it is the first time I’ve seen any form of media where the pandemic was an actual trigger for some of the events in the film. Most forms of media seem to dance around it, but this sits amongst it and screams ‘ this is partially to blame’.

Time for heaps of food-based puns. This film was a feast on the eyes, and I gorged myself on the performances of the entire cast. It’s a shame more films aren’t like this as I believe we should all dine out on this sort of thing.

Seriously though, The Menu is a fantastic film and well worthy of your time.

The menu for the Australian Bluray release

Disc: There are two listed extras, but the first, Open Kitchen, A Look Inside The Menu, is divided into 3 ‘courses’ to keep in theme of the movie.

First Course looks at the design of the ACTUAL food for The Menu, which was designed by chef Dominique Crenn, who also, with discussions with Fiennes, co-created his character and his impulses and motivations. Kendall Gensler, a food stylist, was also present to add to the character of Slowik through the way the food looked on the plate.

Second Course looks at the design of the restaurant, including it’s uniforms, and the way the island reflects his entire vision of the restaurant. It also explores the characters and their motivations with commentary by the actors involved. It also takes a peek behind the curtain of the director’s methods so that any improvised nuances by the actors where captured. It’s an interesting, albeit short, look at the making of the entire production.

Dessert looks at the finale… DO NOT watch this before watching the film! It looks at the production design of the finale.

Deleted scenes contains 3 scenes from throughout the film. Normally I would say that a fiom is better off without the deleted scenes but these I wish were still in the film. Realistically it would have pushed the film over the 1 hour 50 minute point, but it’s only 5 minutes of extra footage, and I found them quite revealing.

This film was reviewed with the Australian release Bluray, purchased from JB Hifi.

Tyler (Nicholas Hoult) is taught a lesson by Chef Slowik

Black Phone (2021)

Black Phone (2021)

The Australian Bluray release of The Black Phone

A few years ago, the film Sinister absolutely put me on my butt. It had been such a long time since I’d seen a horror film that actually felt like a horror story, and not just gore for gores sake, or that post-millennial ghost story trope that teens and regular cinema goers gravitate towards like The Conjuring or Insidious: you know, that easy, non-threatening ghostly rubbish made for mass market that is not much different from a movie from the Marvel or Star Wars universe.

That film came out in 2012 and there was a massively disappointing sequel released a few years later but to me with that first film, writer/ director Scott Derrickson parked his creative car firmly into the parking station of my brain. I admit I was excited at his employment as the director of the 2016 Doctor Strange film, being a fan of the character, and whilst I liked the film, I was disappointed by the casting of Benedict Cumberbatch as the lead, not because I don’t like him as an actor, but instead due to his horrible American accent.

The idea of Derrickson making a film based on a short story of Joe Hill’s, from his 20th Century Ghost compilation (also republished/ repackaged as The Black Phone And Other Stories to cash in on the film’s release) is a great one, and the expansion of that prose with the incorporation of his own upbringing in a violent neighbourhood in the 70s really rounds the tale off perfectly, with the juxtaposition of the violence of familial assault, bullying and a serial child murderer being so in line that I’m still not sure after several viewings, which was the worse situation.

Ethan Hawkes portrayal of The Grabber is quite disturbing

The Black Phone tells of a small town in Denver, Colorado that has become the hunting grounds of a serial child killer called ‘The Grabber’ (Ethan Hawke) by the local papers.

Several boys who go to the same school as Finney (Mason Thames) have already been taken, by the Grabber, including a tough kid who defended Him against the school bullies, and parents are on edge.

Mason Thames as Finney

Finney’s sister, Gwen (Madeline McGraw) has inherited her mother’s second sight, and much to her father’s (Jeremy Davies) dismay, has been talking to the police regarding one of the missing boys, and she continues to use it after Finney is inevitably taken.

Madeline McGraw as Gwen

After being attacked when stopping to help a children’s magician, Finney finds himself trapped in the basement owned by the magician, aka The Grabber. The basement is soundproofed, with just a single window, a bare bed, and strangely, a black phone hanging on the wall.

The black phone, of course, no longer works, but for some reason, Finney hears it ring, and when answered, he is visited by the voices of The Grabber’s previous victims, all of whom have advice on how to survive The Grabber’s advances… but will Finney be able to escape?

Derrickson has taken a very short story by Joe Hill and has expanded upon it using elements of his own childhood, growing up in Denver, Colorado. He mentions in the commentary that some parts of the script writing process felt like therapy. The incredible thing about the story is the upbringing is so violent, the bullying so intense and the parental beatings so brutal that when Finney gets taken by The Grabber, it feels like a release, and that before he was taken that the other kids have a subtle, nuanced jealousy of those no longer subject to the abuse.

This is a difficult thing to convey and not an idea you’d expect in a horror movies as it sounds more like a family drama film. The key to having this idea work was to have a cast capable of doing it, and even though Derrickson had many young actors in their roles, they were able to do so perfectly. Derrickson proves himself to very much be an actor’s director with how delicate those performances are.

The whole atmosphere is created with Derrickson’s choices in the presentation of the film. The soundtrack is provided by Mark Korven of The VVitch and The Lighthouse and when you consider Derrickson claims the pitch to him was ‘childhood trauma’, he absolutely hammered it home. These sounds in co-operation with the visuals which appear VHS-like at times, and in psychic visions have the grain of a Super 8, make for a film that has a Texas Chain Saw Massacre styled documentary or old news footage feel, which makes it all so much more effective.

The film was a wonderful example of modern horror filmmaking, and especially one done without a generic, so-called ‘true’ ghost story attached to it. I honestly can’t recommend seeing this film enough; it truly is a modern classic of horror movie storytelling. Do me one favourite please, Hollywood: you’ve made a wonderful, original film, please don’t consider remaking or sequelising this film.

Disc: This film was reviewed using the Australian Bluray release, which contains the following extras.

There are 2 deleted scenes which as usual, the film doesn’t suffer for them being absent.

There is a bunch of shorts that make up the next 4 extras that honestly, I suspect would have been far more interesting as a 40 minute ‘making of’ instead of a selection of shorts.

Ethan Hawke’s Evil Turn sees Hawke discuss what it takes to create an ‘evil’ character for a film, and then there is the usual ‘he’s so scary’ accompanying stuff. Hawke’s commentary about playing The Grabber is certainly interesting.

Beautifully shot and atmospheric, Derrickson’s film is a treat

Answering the Call: Behind the scenes of The Black Phone is a usual BTS styled thing, and it only goes for ten minutes, but still some of the sound bytes are interesting. There is a bit of circle-jerk offing as you would expect, but it still offers some insights to the making of the film.

Devil in the Design looks not just at the style of the Grabber and his basement cell, but also making it look like the 70s, and how it felt like it was real, and properly lived in.

Super 8 Set briefly discusses the use of Super 8 film to signify the dreams from the film, and how it’s appearance gives an unsettling feeling.

Shadowprowler – a Short Film by Scott Derrickson was filmed during lock down and stars, and is based upon an idea by his son Dashiell, with the music provided by his other son, Atticus, who also plays in the film. It’s a quirky little home-made horror film about home invasion made by a family who was bored whilst living in Kevin Sorbo’s house.

There is an amazing director’s commentary with Scott Derrickson which acts as both a discussion on the creation of his own film, and his own upbringing. Occasionally it almost seems like Derrickson is exorcising some ghosts from his own past, maybe he was, but the entire commentary is a must listen.

The Invitation (2022)

The Australian Bluray release of The Invitation

The Invitation (2022)

If the popularity of Jackass and Fail Army can tell us one thing, it’s that humans like to see someone fail terribly at something that could have been an achievement of mammoth proportions. The thing is, though, is that you only have to burn several seconds of your precious life with the set-up and pay-off of these skits, so it doesn’t feel like you’ve wasted time until you’ve slid down a YouTube hole into a void that started at 7pm but finished 30 minutes before you are supposed to get out of bed for work.

The problem with a film that does the same thing is that the promising set-up isn’t seen to fail until 90 minutes to 2 hours later, and that bit of time thievery can occasionally be unforgivable. At the risk of burying the lead, this film suffers from this very thing.

Our protagonist, Evie (Nathalie Emmanuel)

The Invitation is a 2022 film, directed by Australian director Jessica M. Thompson who received critical acclaim for her 2017 film The Light of the Moon, and was written by Blair Butler, who genre fans will know as the screenplay writer for the 2018 slasher-in-an-amusement-park film Hell Fest.

The Invitation tells of struggling artist Evie (Nathalie Emmanuel) who is given a ‘Find Yourself’ DNA kit after working as a caterer at one of their events. She resists the idea at first but eventually gives it a go as she feels disconnected from past relatives. Very soon she discovers a long-lost cousin, Oliver (Hugh Skinner), a quite overbearing member of English aristocracy to reveals to her that she is the part of a family-wide scandal as her great-grandmother had an affair with one of the footmen (a BLACK footman! )at her estate, and had a child who was kept hidden.

Oliver invites her to come to a wedding at New Carfax Abbey in England, offering an all-expenses paid trip to meet other members of the family. Upon arrival, she awkwardly meets Mr Fields (Sean Pertwee) who assumes, due to her skin colour, that she is one of the hired help for the wedding, a mistake soon rectified by the arrival of the charming and handsome Walter DeVille (Thomas Doherty), the Lord of the Manor, who appears to be quite taken with Evie.

Quickly, though, we, the viewers, find weird goings on at the manor: maids start disappearing and Evie feels strange presences in her room, and her feelings of alienation increase as she meets more and more of the wedding guests, all of whom are white, and some of whom seem to be deliberately making her stay even more uncomfortable.

As our story unfolds, we discover a terrible secret within the house that may effect the future of Evie and her entire family!

The mysterious Walt DeVille (Thomas Doherty)

This film starts with a bang, and because I knew nothing about it before watching it, I found myself thinking we were entering a film similar to Jordan Peele’s Get Out, which alters slightly as you begin to realise that the problem within the family is not a medical one, but instead is more of a supernatural one.

Thompson’s direction is wonderful, and reminds me a little of the first Twilight film with its lush, moist exteriors and darkened and claustrophobic interiors. I thoroughly enjoyed the performances by the cast as well, with Emmanuel’s American character feeling SO out of place amongst the posh accents of the privileged aristocracy, which adds to the stranger-in-a-strange-land feel to the film.

The images and darkened tone of the film are brilliantly underlined by a spectacularly haunting score by Dara Taylor, whose work can be heard in The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, and various pieces amongst The Boys series. The claustrophobic interiors are certainly made more cramped by the atmosphere it creates.

Evie’s cousin, Oliver (Hugh Skinner)

The dialogue of the script is wonderful too, and the performers are convincing in their roles, but that’s not to say the actual STORY is consistently good, and as I mentioned early, descends into somewhat of a car wreck.

When one considers modern horror through the eyes of Peele and his contemporaries, and the tales they tell, this feels more like something akin to Wes Craven’s much-maligned werewolf movie Cursed (one I actually enjoy). I expected to be wowed in a fashion like the afore-mentioned Get Out, or to be shocked like I was with the Wicker Man-esque Midsommar from writer director Ari Astor, but instead, this amazing set-up crashes horribly into an almost teen friendly result of a series of films that would be ripping off things like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake books, or worse, Wesley Snipes’ Blade films. The car crash at the end of the film is the hamfisted shift in gear from psychological thriller, to supernatural terror, to wannabe monster-hunting franchise.

Another criticism of the script is the dreadful bait-and-switch performed within its story. Some creatures of the night have set rules throughout literature and cinema, and when a story chooses to ignore those boundaries for the sake of hiding the identity of a well known trope, it’s deceitful and not very good writing. Again, this reveal is towards the end of the film when it loses the traction it got at the beginning so it is not unsurprising.

My comparison to a Fail Army video is not so much that I wanted enjoyment from seeing someone fail, but instead, from watching someone achieving a magnificent feat: it’s a shame it instead descends into silliness.

I do look forward to more films by the director as I thoroughly enjoyed the visuals, and the quality of the cast, but were tragically let down by a story made more disappointing by an incredibly promising start. I didn’t like it, and couldn’t see myself rewatching it, and I don’t think it’s worth wasting your time on due to those disappointing story points. If delicious cinematography is your thing though, give it a look with the sound turned down.

Disc: This film was reviewing using the Australian Bluray release, which contains the following extras.

First, there are two versions of the film available to watch. The first is the theatrical version, whilst the second is the extended cut. General rule of thumb is to always watch the longer version as in general, the first things to be cut for timing, or ratings, is violence and nudity, which is definitely the case here, even though both are still on the lighter end of both elements.

There are some outtakes and bloopers which are not particularly funny or clever, but the cast seem to enjoy themselves through them so bravo to them.

There are two deleted scenes and an alternate ending. As one would expect, the film does better without the extended scenes, and it CERTAINLY is better into it the awful Goosebumps-styled ending presented here. Interesting to see the film actually could have ended even worse than what it did.

It’s amusing that all of these extras have wedding related names which are relevant considering the story, but not as obvious now the films name was changed from the more blatant ‘The Bride’

The Wedding Party – Meet the Cast is a brief introduction to the cast and the director, and their perceptions of the characters in the film.

The stunning statue from the foyer of the manor

Til Death Do Us Part – production and Design looks at how the filmmakers made the decisions of how the film should look, and the dichotomy of the ‘upstairs’ and ‘downstairs’ of British aristocracy, or at least how it’s perceived in cinematic language. It is a beautiful film with some lovely design choices to lean into the bad stuff involved with the family, including a wonderful statue depicting something like the St George vanquishing the dragon artworks of Brent Notke or Adrian Jones, but the dragon clearly having the upper hand.

Lifting the Veil – Designing the Story investigates the idea of a more feminist view of a horror story and specifically the direct influences of a source novel I don’t wish to share as it is a spoiler, on this film. Some of the tributes are quite subtle whereas others are somewhat clumsy, and don’t work anywhere near as well, and announce where the story is going early, though you may, like me, hope it’s not going in that way.

The spa is one of the delightful features of the manor.