I find that sometimes the best way to watch a film is on the odd occasion when you have been lucky enough to avoid all media based around it. In this day and age that is a difficult thing to do, but I managed it with this film. This film, Immaculate, is knew nothing about: i didn’t see a trailer, no comments on my social media… it just slipped me by.
All I knew about it was that it starred current ‘it’s girl (not a female Pennywise but instead the latest movie star social media crush) Sydney Sweeney, and honestly, the only thing I really even knew about HER was that she was one of the stars of the Sony turd-that-sunk-to-the-bottom Marvel film, Madame Web.
This film was really driven by Sweeney. She first auditioned for the film in 2014, but the film was never made but the story by Andrew Lobel really resonated with her. Later, she pursued the script, took on the producer’s hat and was the driving force behind getting the film made, employing the directorial talents of Michael Mohan, who previously directed her in The Voyeurs and Everything Sucks!
Sister Cecilia (Sydney Sweeney)
Immaculate tells of young nun, Sister Cecelia (Sweeney) whose parish in Detroit closed down and she made the decision to travel to Italy and take on a role of assisting older nuns transition to Heaven in a convent/ hospice.
The usual jealousies that can happen when an interloper comes into a new environment, but those jealousies escalate when after a few weeks, Sister Cecelia, is discovered to have had an immaculate conception.
The church is dubious at first but eventually excited by the prospect of their environment being the place that the rebirth of Jesus himself may take place. None are more excited than Father Tedeschi (Alvaro Morte), a former biologist now member of the clergy, who seems to be resisting taking Sister Cecelia to a proper hospital, instead keeping the pregnancy amongst only those within the convent, including the in-house doctor, Dr. Gallo (Giampiera Judica).
The leaders of the convent.
As the pregnancy continues, the members of the order become more and more strange in the attitude towards her, and secretive… are they involved in this immaculate conception, and who are the clergy in red masks that she keeps seeing…
There’s no doubt that Sweeney’s passion for the project wasn’t unfounded. It is a very clever story steeped in religious iconography but not so deep that someone with only a surface level understanding of Catholicism or Christianity would be lost.
Tarantino may NOT appreciate the foot stuff in this flick
The tale has three very distinct acts which coincide with the idea of the trimesters of pregnancy and each trimester reveals more of the mystery and steadily the situation becomes worse and worse for the main character and more and more exciting for us the viewer.
This film was a pleasant surprise in a world of sequels, remakes and attempts at making ‘universes’ and franchises. I would even say that not seeing anything about the film beforehand was a blessing in disguise.
The menu screen of the Australian release of Immaculate
Disc: There is a series of interviews on this disc: actor/ producer Sweeney, director Mohan, and actors Morte and Giulia Heathfield Di Renzi, who played Sister Isabel, one of the sisters jealous of Cecelia’s choice as the mother of the rebirth of Jesus Christ. These make for a quite interesting collection of information in regards to the film. Well worth watching even though the way it’s presented is with text questions followed by the videoed answers.
Convent or not: skin care should always be a priority
This Blu-ray was reviewed with a copy of the film purchased from JB Hifi in Australia.
The cover to the Australian Bluray Steelbook of Kong Skull Island
KONG: SKULL ISLAND (2017)
I never like to think of any movie I enjoy as a ‘Guilty Pleasure’. I figure if you feel embarrassed about something you love, you probably don’t actually love it but enjoy it for nostalgic or other reasons… but today I watched Kong Skull Island.
KSI is the second part of the ‘Monsterverse’ series of films… you know, because EVERYTHING has to be a ‘universe’ these days… which is also known as the ‘Legendary Series’ that started with 2014’s kinda-boring Godzilla, that starred Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen.
This film was written by a handful of screenwriters: Dan Gilroy (Nightcrawler), Max Borenstein (Hypnotic, with Robert Rodiguez), Derek Connolly (who, honestly, seems to be consistently a ‘team-player’ writer) and John Gatins (Flight) and it is obvious insomuch as there is a bunch of different stories a happening simultaneously, and whilst I appreciate that most movies are like that, this was very much very different stories in a similar situation.
The film was directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts, director of Successful Alcoholics and The Kings of Summer, did a great job with this film as he clearly saw that monster movies aren’t just about the monsters, but also the human stories that exist within them; something many horror movies forget… and superhero movies, and sci-fi movies… basically any ‘pop culture’ films.
Its not always about selling toys, Hollywood!
When you consider that the first film of King Kong was created in 1933, and influenced so many sequels, remakes and themes, it isn’t a surprise that films based on the character aren’t still being made. What is surprising though is that this was made so soon after Peter Jackson’s 2005 hit film which is far more a character piece rather than a monster movie like this one. Kong appears very early in this film and there is no hesitation in telling the viewer just exactly who is the star of this film.
Kong: Skull Island starts in 1973, with the Vietnam war almost officially over and Bill Randa (John Goodman) is in charge of an expedition to travel to a previously unexplored island that has remained hidden behind a serious weather anomaly.
Hiddleston and Larson
Coming with his team are members of Landsat, a computer mapping organisation, with the intention of dropping seismic bombs on the island to get an idea of the landmass, assumed to be hollow. The transportation is provided by a platoon of Vietnam soldiers, under the command of Colonel Preston Packard (Samuel L. Jackson) in their choppers, now dormant with Americas withdrawal from the Vietnam war. Finally, a former SAS James Conrad (Tom Hiddleston) and a press photographer, Mason Weaver (Brie Larson) round out the motley crew.
After traversing a quite heinous storm to get to the island, the teams set up their equipment, and start dropping the seismic devices from the choppers but they find that there is resistance to the bombs being dropped in a giant ape called Kong.
The Big Monkey himself
Kong attacks the helicopters, separating the teams. Packard and his becomes obsessed with destroying Kong as he so viciously attacked them, but the other team, including Conrad and Weaver, meet a tribe of natives and Marlow (John C. Reilly), a WW2 pilot who became lost on the island during that war, and who knows, after his years on the island, that Kong has an important role in nature… keeping the horrifying Skullcrawlers at bay…
Will Kings defenders get to Packard in time to stop his attempts at killing Kong, or is mankind doomed…
Samuel L. Jackson in angry soldier mode
I have to start with the cast of this film when discussing it. Its a combination of Marvel second fiddles (Dr. Doom, Loki, Captain Marvel and Nick Fury aka Toby Kebbell, Tom Hiddleston, Brie Larson and Samuel L. Jackson respectively) mixed with character actors and ‘I know that persons face, whats their name again’ actors like John Goodman, John C Reilly, Thomas Middleditch and Shea Whigham. I LOVE this cast as I was so shocked BY their performances. Hiddleston as the military expert takes the heroic spot like it should always have been his. Jackson plays to type as the shell-shocked army colonial still fighting a war that America lost but its a different style of performance, almost Apocalypse Now-ish in its obsession. Brie Larson, who I liked in Scott Pilgrim but detested as Captain Marvel is warm as the photographer, and surprisingly likeable. Toby Kebbell was great as a ‘doomed’ soldier (sorry) stuck by himself on Skull Island trying to get home to his family, when you consider I have only seen him in the awful 2015 Fantastic Four and as an ape in the more recent Planet of the Apes flicks, anything would have been different!
John C. Reilly was a lot of fun in his role too as the displaced World War 2 soldier as well, playing crazy but not irredeemably psychotic like some of these sorts of roles can end up.
Kong himself was beautifully designed as nature intended and ape to look but he has a fantastic presence here, and always look great in his animation expect where there is water as some of the water scenes look rough. Most of the other creatures look great except for the ‘bad’ creatures, the so-called Skullcrawlers, are supposed to be horrific and whilst there presence and intention is, they look stupid with a human looking upper body attached to a snake tail and heads that look like horse’s skulls. Surely they could have come up with a better design that this. It looks like it was designed by a bunch of suits talking about things that scare them.
Speaking of looks the entire look of the overall film is fantastic. It has a stunning visual palette that’s half (the aforementioned) Apocalypse Now mixed with a Wild West feature. There is some amazing shots of Kong with the sun at his back and they make for exciting visuals due to their used of bright yellow and red. On the flips side, the lush green environments of Vietnam are apparent and beautiful.
Like I mentioned earlier, there’s no shying away from the monsters in this film either. Kong is seen in the first few minutes and then as soon as the expedition hits the island is monster-a-go-go, with all the beast clearly on display, none of that slow reveal rubbish here: money shot up front!
The story is a great deal of fun too. It takes its silly premise just seriously enough that you actually get involved in it without it seeming like parody, but not so serious that it loses its sense of enjoyment.
I honestly didn’t think I’d like this film as i found the predecessor of the series, 2014’s Godzilla, to be plodding and uninteresting except for when the King of Monsters himself lumbered across the screen. This, however, was truly a blockbuster of the highest order. Like a Fast and the Furious film, there was always something happening and at no point did I look at my phone or watch as I was completely enthralled and entertained.
Guilty pleasure indeed, but with zero guilt, so I guess that means this is just a pleasure.
The menu screen to the Australian Release on bluray
Disc:
A whole bunch of bananas on this disc!
Creating a King, which is broken down into two parts, Realising an Icon and Summoning a God. Honestly I don’t know why these are two features as they could have been cut together nicely into one 25 minute feature. Together they look at the themes of mans intrusion into the primative world, much like Cannibal Holocaust did, and his destruction of it, combined with the cinematic history of the monster that is Kong, but transforming the character into a god-like character. Lots of amazing design paintings and special effects explanations for those who love HOW movies are made.
On Location: Vietnam is almost a travelogue of how lush and beautiful some parts of Vietnam are. I have gone from no interest in travelling there to a GREAT DEAL of interest!! Hiddleston does say its more beautiful than the other locations of Hawaii and Australia so screw that guy.
Tome Hiddleston: The Intrepid Traveller follows Hiddleston’s journeys across the world as the feature was filmed and the interesting things he found about each location.
Through the Lens: Brief Larson’s Photography is a selection of photos and footage of Larson taking said photos. I think its pretty cool that Larson was actually taking these pics that her character was taking.
Monarch Files 2.0 (Companion Archive) is a fictional file of Monarch’s exploration of Skull Island. It is a delightful addition to the mythos.
Commentary is performed by Vogt-Roberts, and is an enthusiastic and informative commentary. Its always nice to watch a film with a commentary by someone who is so influenced and informed by film, comics, manga and video games.
Deleted Scenes are, as usual, unnecessary additions that the film benefits from their absence, though Hiddleston’s and Jackson’s character’s first meeting was deliciously uncomfortable.
Recently, my wife and I bought a house in the country. Quiet, secluded, peaceful and away from the city. We gave up our lives of hustle and bustle to enjoy the countryside, but being a horror fan comes with its disadvantages. All I could think of before the move was the ‘supernatural’ problems that can come with a new house, and in amongst thinking about all those film that enjoy a ‘new’ house as a core of its plot, the is film, 1976’s Burnt Offerings, kept coming to mind.
Now I’ll just clarify I wasn’t scared of moving to the new house, I was just reminded of it by the situation, and a yearning to watch it came to mind, especially after my more recent foray into ‘new home’ horror with Night Swim came about.
Burnt Offerings was directed by Dark Shadows creator, Dan Curtis, and it was co-written by him with William F. Nolan, the co-creator of Logan’s Run, and based on the book of the same name, published in 1973 by Robert Marasco.
The cover to Marasco’s 1973 novel
Burnt Offerings tells of the Rolf family, Ben (Oliver Reed), his wife Marian (Karen Black) and their 12 year old son David (Lee Montgomery), who, along with their Aunt Elizabeth (Bette Davis) have rented a summer house in the country off the Allardyce family for an almost incomprehensible low price for the entire summer.
Oliver Reed and Karen Black: Cinema Legends
The Allardyces, Roy (Eileen Heckart) and her brother Arnold (Burgess Meredith) have only one stipulation for the stay: The Rolfs must feed their mother, a recluse who has no desire to leave with the siblings on their respite, three times a day and maintain the property whilst they stay.
Another legend: Burgess Meredith
Soon, though, Ben starts to lose control and become violent and thuggish, as Marian becomes more and more obsessed with the house, but what is causing these behaviour changes, and what do they have to do with the horrible visions of the Chauffeur (Anthony James) that Ben is having… and does the house seeing to be repairing itself..?
There’s no doubt that Burnt Offerings is a classic film and that Dan Curtis’ style drips from every single frame.
… and another: Bette Davis
The cast are suitable amazing when you consider the legends that are within it. Heckart and Meredith are totally bizarre as the brother sister combination, and Davis plays the ostentatious Aunt as only SHE can. Black and Reed are a fantastic choice as the leads and even though they, on paper, probably shouldn’t work together; if I am honest, they feel like a couple who would have a bizarre sex dungeon, or buy waterproof fake fur to make chaps.
Or maybe I am projecting.
The story is fascinating and a slow burn horror, certainly of its time, that probably couldn’t be made today as there is not the amount of WHIZ and BANG to keep a modern audience interested for too long. If I am completely honest, I do feel the almost two hour run time could have a bit of a trim as even I found my mind wandering through some of the longer breaks from the mysteries of the house.
One interesting note is that when Curtis first read the book, he liked it but pitied any director who took on the job of directing any film that may have been made of it as he didn’t like the way the novel finished. Upon taking the job of directing on, he promptly changed the ending.
It is a gem of a film though and it absolutely is marked with Curtis’s style, from the soundtrack to the way the scenes are laid out. I’ve watched it several times and even though it isnt a favourite of mine, I must admit to a regular revisit, probably just due to the providence of the director and actors, but more likely because I, like many, have an obsession with Karen Black.
The Menu screen from the DVD
Disc: This DVD from the Cinema Cult isn’t the greatest as far as quality of image goes. I cannot say that I have seen a better image on a different release, but what I can say is that this is misty and slightly out of focus. This collection has two extras.
There is an audio commentary by Curtis, Black and Nolan which is lovely and conversation and fully discusses the film, with Nolan acting like a moderator more than someone who worked on the film at times.
There is also a theatrical trailer, which I have to say, is an absolute corker of a trailer!
I’ve never played a Five Nights at Freddy’s game… EVER. Honestly, I’ve never even SEEN the game but I am aware of what a pop culture phenomenon it is.
From 2016 to 2024, I managed a pop culture retail shop, and when we first opened, we had an entire section dedicated to the franchise, and sold everything from plush to Funko pops, actions figures and all kinds of other stuff, and it was super popular but like a lot of pop culture stuff, the shine left it and the section in the store diminished to nothing.
Then randomly in 2022 a film was announced and for some reason no toys or product was available to us so we missed a boat that could have been huge. Even Funko didn’t release much stuff for the films release so maybe there was a doubt that the film would be any good.
Maybe they saw the name ‘Blumhouse’ attached to it.
Anyway, I’m not sure if not having any knowledge about the ‘lore’ associated with the game makes me more or less qualified to review it, but I CAN tell you that I had friends who were fans of the game who went from loving its original take to hating it for detracting from the core of the ideas in the game.
This film was directed by Emma Tammi, who co-wrote the script with Seth Cuddeback, Tyler McIntyre and Chris Lee Hill, based on the script of the original game by Scott Cawthon, with the animatronics characters created by the Jim Henson Workshop.
Josh Hutcherson as Mike
Five Nights at Freddy’s tells of Mike (Hutcherson) who has been fired from his job in mall security after beating up a man who he thought was abducting a child, which rings to his past as his younger brother was kidnapped whilst under his care, an event he constantly dreams of and attempts to get more details of.
His parents, now both deceased, have left him in charge of his younger sister, Abby (Piper Rubio) so he has have to put his life on hold to make sure she is ok, so losing this job is catastrophic, especially considering his Aunt Jane (Mary Stuart Masterson) is desperate to take Abby under her care.
Matthew Lillard as Steve, amongst others…
At a job centre, Mike meets Steve (Matthew Lillard) who offers him a security position at the abandoned Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, a children’s restaurant from the 80s with a dark history but the owner insists on protecting it even though its not been open for years.
Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria
Mike feels that there is something odd about the job, but his fears are waylaid by the introduction of Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail), a friendly cop who has stopped by to check on the new security guard. He continues to do the job, but as his life falls apart, things at work get weirder and weirder…
Visually, it’s not entirely that it’s a bad film, but I think it just came too late, as Willy’s Wonderland and Banana Splits managed to get out first and also don’t have the weight of the history behind the game weighing it down. From my understanding, the animatronic characters look true to form, and according to one of the extras, the YouTuber fans of the game franchise were impressed by the set also.
Unfortunately the praise stops there. The main characters… all of them… are drastically unlikable that I found myself continuing to pray that they would come to their ends. Hutcherson, as the hero of the piece, is so dramatically unlikable that its hard to feel anything about his personal plight, and Rubio as the obnoxious sister bring ‘obnoxicity’ to a new level. Lillard, lets face it, isn’t the greatest of actor in the world unless pantomime is your thing, so his overacting nonsense you’d feel would be perfect for a project like this but stands out horribly… there is a scene where he notices something and the pause is so long that both him and the director should have just held up ‘this is a plot device’ sign. Masterson as the Aunt is suitable malodorous which she is supposed to be, and Lail is pleasant as the cute female love interest but isn’t really given much to do, which is a shame.
The basic plot was nothing new, but I’m a horror fan who also likes Star Wars and superhero films so ‘new’ is hardly a concept that I should criticise and I suppose it’s my error for thinking that a movie based on a video game would really bring anything new to the table, especially one marketed at kids. Weirdly also, for something that is obviously aimed at a younger audience, considering it’s YouTube history and ‘M’ rating. The sub-plot that is introduced as Mike’s trauma is so telegraphed from the absolute beginning that even my wife who, whilst sitting next to me for one viewing but NOT actually watching it, picked it immediately.
I’m sure that fans of this game franchise enjoyed this film but as someone who has zero association with it, that is I don’t know if it’s good or not, i did not. Its a generic attempt at a film franchise that came too late as Willy’s Wonderland and Banana Splits beat them to the punch.
The menu screen from the 4K release of FNAF
Disc: Only three extras on the disc:
Five Nights at Freddy’s: From Game to Big Screen looks at how the filmmakers went from adapting the video game phenomenon to a big budget horror film. There is interviews with cast and crew, and also some YouTubers who came onto the set after years of be FNAF content producers.
Killer Animatronics sees how the actors interacted with these ‘real’ fictional characters, and the puppeteers from Jim Henson who created them.
Five Nights in Three Dimensions look at the reaction of the Pizzeria that the characters exist within. It’s a pretty detail set so this extra was quite fascinating.
The ‘horrifying’ children’s characters
This film was reviewed with the Australian 4K release purchased from JB Hifi.
Even though I am quite regularly critical of both Blumhouse Pictures and James Wan, I still like to give their new products a go. Just like Marvel and DC and Star Wars movies, I know the product is going to be generic claptrap with little imagination involved, but I’m still prepared and wait in hope that either of them might actually make something that is actual horror, and not just nonsensical pablum based in some kind of weird and archaic fear of the occult.
I mean come on people, are you REALLY afraid of The Conjuring and Insidious films?!?
Anyway, this film is the directorial debut of Bryce McGuire who based this on a short film he made 10 years earlier with his writing partner, Rod Blackhurst. Ill give one thing to McGuire, from the extras on this disc he is an enthusiastic filmmaker and hopefully will be given another chance in the future to actually make something good.
Oh, did I just bury the lead?
Ray (Wyatt Russell) and Eve (Kerry Condon)
Night Swim tells the tale of Ray Waller (Wyatt Russell), a former pro-baseball player who has had to retire from playing due to an illness. He and his wife, Eve (Kerry Condon), and children Izzy (Amelie Hoeferie) and Elliot (Gavin Warren) are house hunting and find a place that is a little rundown but has a pool that is potentially a great option for Ray as hydrotherapy could really help him out…
… and help him out it does! Over a very short period, Ray seems to be improving rapidly, even down to a deep cut on his hand miraculously disappearing after the family cat goes missing… coincidence? Maybe…
As Ray gets better though, his behaviour starts to change and the rest of the family all have strange occurrences with the pool happen to them individually which makes them all start to fear the back yard entertainment area.
At a pool party, the real estate agent tells Eve that she found out that in 1992 and young girl drowned in the pool, and after some research, she discovers a series of events that put the pool in a dark light… and after meeting the parent of the drowning victim, she decides she needs to get the family out asap before something bad happens to them…
The original natural spring from where the pool comes.
This is an interesting film insomuch as whilst watching the film all this sounds feasible but when you recount the tale to another person (or in a review) it sounds fucking ridiculous. There’s been some pretty obtuse ideas of haunted items and while this isn’t necessarily haunted per se, it does have a freaky backstory that doesn’t sound slightly feasible outside the confines of its universe.
I guess thats what most films are like but this seemed really more apparent than a lot of other horror films.
The performances of the cast was mostly fine, with Condon and Russell really being the foundations of the whole thing, though there were a few characters that didn’t really hold up in the greater scheme of things as they almost seemed like parody, especially the mother of the drowned girl who came across more like a joke version of a j-horror character from a Scary Movie film.
There’s something or someONE in the skimmer box
I do have to give the director some credit for the underwater scenes which were mostly shot very well and really had a decent selection of scares to them. Some really nice combinations of knowing something is there and then it disappearing to a clever effect. Actually for the most part the entire film was shot really well.
One other thing, and this is me being a bit picky, but I built pools for a few years and my step-dad owned a pool company for about 25 years and in all that time I had never heard of the type of pool that they talk about in this film; this freshwater pool. Sure it’s a piece of fiction but it just stuck out as weird for me. If anyone had heard of pools with this design and filtration, I’d be happy to hear about it.
I do have to say that i found it interesting that the local school was named ‘Harold Holt’ – not a name you would expect in an American film, especially one to have a school in his name, but certainly a name you would expect to find in a story about drowning.
This is one of those films that are a good idea stretched into an overlong space. I feel that scenes of ‘killer pools’ in things like Burnt Offerings or even Poltergeist’s corpse filled hole are really effective but I’m not sure it translates to a full feature.
The menu screen for the Australian BD release
Disc: The are a bunch of extras on this disc:
Masters of Fear sees members of the cast and crew suckling from the teat of James Wan and Jason Blum. It is full of the usual ‘foundations of modern horror’ crap that these sorts of ego rubs are full of when in actual fact these blockbuster horrors are no different from the stuff Disney is producing: safe and digestible horror movies.
Demon from the Depths looks at the costumes of the things that ‘live’ in the pool, which are pretty amazing.
Into The Deep explores filming in a water environment.
Marco Polo looked at the ‘Marco Polo’ scene and how the filmmakers idea was to ‘spoil’ the household swimming pool just like Jaws spoilt the beach.
There is also a very enthusiastic commentary by the director which is a fascinating insight into his methods of direction.
There’s something worse than an ear infection in this pool!
A lot of the time my interest in a film is based on the actors in it more than anything else. I’m not talking about blockbusters here either, sometimes it is those weird little films that slip under the radar that have character actors who wouldn’t necessarily appear in a film of that type.
This film, The Owners, provided me with the thrill of two TV actors that I would never in a million years would have ever suspected appear in a film together: Maisie Williams from Game of Thrones, and former Doctor Who from the 1980s, Sylvester McCoy. (Ok, I guess they were both in Doctor Who but their appearances were about 30 years apart)
The Owners was directed by Julius Berg, who also co-wrote the script with Mathieu Gompel and Geoff Cox, and was based on the graphic novel, Une Nuit de Plene Lune by Hermann Huppen and Yves H.
The graphic novel ‘Une Nuit de Pleine Lune’
The film takes place in the UK, where Mary (Williams) is frustrated as her boyfriend, Nathan (Ian Kenny) has not returned her car so she can get to work. She finds him with two of his mates, Terry (Andrew Ellis) and someone unknown to her, Gaz (Jake Curran) is her car, stoned, and casing the house of the town doctor, Richard Huggins (McCoy) and his wife, Ellen (Rita Tushingham)
Mary (Maisie Williams) and Nathan (Ian Kenny)
They have been observing the house for a while and have the inclination to rob it as Terry’s mother, Jean (Stacia Hicks) told him casually that there was a big safe in the basement.
The boys break in and find the safe, leaving Mary outside waiting in the car, only to find that its an old safe that they don’t have the tools to
open, so the only answer is to wait for the elderly Doctor to return.
Nathan (Ian Kenny) and Terry (Andrew Ellis) aren’t cracking it
Mary gets frustrated after waiting for a while and is coaxed inside by Nathan, only to be horrified by their intentions, and when the couple do arrive home, things go from bad to worse as the Huggins’, tied to chairs in the basement, refuse to open the safe door…
Mrs. and Dr. Huggins (Rita Tushingham and Sylvester McCoy
I remember seeing From Dusk Til Dawn for the first time and being stunned by the sudden gear shift from crime movie to vampire movie and whilst the gear shift isn’t as sudden, it is a breath of fresh air in a world of superhero sequels, Star Wars expansions and remakes. Sure it does riff on a few other films which i wont mention here as they will give the story away slightly, but the performances really sell it.
McCoy and Tushingham are delightful as the old couple, and remain endearing through the course of their performances no matter what they do; Tushingham in particular is amazing with her tragic dementia patient. Williams and Kenny play the couple whose relationship dissolves before our eyes really well and Ellis’ Terry is as frustrating a coward as ever.
The real villain of the piece is Curran’s Gaz, whose performance is straight out of an early Guy Ritchie flick and is more as more unlikable as his character is revealed. Its been a while since Ive seen a film where I’ve actively disliked a character and Curran really nails the wannabe hard man in this.
This was one of those pleasant surprises that really made me happy to have taken a $19 chance on a film I know nothing about except for some of the cast. Fantastic. Get on it.
The menu screen for the Australian DVD release
Disc: Surprising these days for a DVD in Australia, there actually is a couple of extras, even though its not much.
Behind the Scenes looks at the set up for some of the scenes in the film. It doesn’t go for very long and there isn’t any commentary on it but some of it is fascinating to see.
Interviews is a brief series of interviews with writer/ director Julius Berg, producers Alain De La Mata and Christopher Granier-Deferre, Maisie Williams, Sylvester McCoy, Rita Tushingham, Andrew Ellis, Jake Curran and Ian Kenny. Its just a fluff piece really but interesting to hear the cast and crews perspectives of the story.
If Gaz (Jake Curran) doesn’t quit dope, he might get hammered
I don’t always research a film I’ve not heard of before reviewing. I find that if I know too much up front it could influence my opinion of the film so I’ll make a point of avoiding anything about it. The reason that, at the time of viewing, that I decided to grab this movie on Bluray was due to mainly two things: Jaime Pressly, whom I’ve alway had a bit of a bitchy-high-school-girl-who’d-spit-on-me-rather-than-talk-to-me crush on, and Tobin Bell… the Jigsaw Killer himself: how could I resist them.
What I found out afterwards was that in the few months that I’d taken break from writing for Digital Retribution, I’d become a rube. Not only had these two names influenced my purchase, but I’d spent good money on a ten year old, made for TV film.
Kylie Rogers and Jaime Pressly
Sigh. I’ve lost my edge.
Too many Marvel and DC films have dulled my keen mind.
Finders Keepers starts with a flashback to a boy, possessed by something, and OBVIOUSLY possessed as his eyes are completely black, on a killing spree… flash forward to now, when young recently separated single mum, Alyson Simon (Jaime Pressly) and her daughter, Claire (Kylie Rogers) move to a small country town and into an unfeasibly big house for whatever wage a single mum is pulling from seemingly doing nothing.
Since the separation, though, Claire has become reserved and introverted, and not even kindly psychologist Dr Freeman (Tobin Bell) can help her, especially considering her entire being seems to be focused on an ugly toy doll that she found in the house.
Weird doll alert!
Fairly quickly, weird things start happening, like crazy cat lady Janine (Marina Sirtis) find her cats killed in her back yard, and Claire violently freaks out whenever she is separated from the doll, and not even help from her dad, and script-driven white knight, Jonathon Simon (Patrick Muldoon) can save the day.
Things escalate quickly as the film only goes for a thankfully brief 98 minutes, but who will survive? How will the police excuse the fact that it seems that a single mum is beating her child and that a child seems to be committing murder?
Only the Syfy network can answer those questions…
So as you can see by the plot synopsis, the only thing that this film brings to the table is… um… I guess, absolutely nothing. Stock standard ‘doll possession’ movie that is so cookie cutter I’m surprised it’s not made by Arnotts.
Tobin Bell and Pressly
That’s not the REALLY awful thing about it though. The script is what a B movie fan would expect, as is the plot, but if you want to talk about miscasting, this film is a TED Talk on it. Jaime Pressly is wonderful, in anything else. In this, she swans around looking spectacular and not at all like a caring mother concerned for her child. Patrick Muldoon feels like he’s not playing a estranged dad role, but instead is playing Kevin Bacon, playing an estranged dad role. Tobin Bell as the psychologist, and this may be a typecast thing, seems like a murderer posing as a doctor, which would have been an amazing plot twist! Finally, Marina Sirtis as the crazy street cat-lady must have been identified as unconvincing during the script run-through as her obsession is more based around all the ‘cat’ icons in her house rather than her performance.
What is the real shame is that Rogers, as the daughter, is the only one convincing in this whole debacle. She holds her own quite well whilst the rest of the cast wander around wearing the shoes of people who didn’t get cast. Honestly, Muldoon would have been better as the doctor so at least their could have been some temptation for Pressly’s character in the town rather than an old guy who sounds like he has a sex dungeon and the bedside manner of an undertaker.
I’ve decided that what I am going to do with this film is bury it in the floorboards of my house, so in many years time when a new family come in, or a single mum with her daughter, one of them will find it and they’ll hunt down one of those old ‘Bluray player’ things and get obsessed by it…
… though I’m pretty sure they just cry out ‘what the hell is this crap’ and rebury it like the stale old bone that it is.
Menu screen for Finders Keepers
Extras: No extras on this Bluray.
Marina Sirtis… Deanna Troi didn’t see THAT coming!
The Umbrella release of Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey
Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)
Why?
It’s a question I ask myself a lot in regards to movies.
For example, why the HELL does a horror movie starring Winnie the Pooh exist? Is it because of the fandom behind the video game Five Nights at Freddy’s, and the strange horror films with nostalgic/ childish themes of Willy’s Wonderland and The Banana Splits? More likely it was because the rights to the characters become public domain on the 1st January 2022, and even though Disney have the rights to their depiction of the characters, they can’t really control anything that anyone else wants to do… including writer/ director Rhys Frake-Waterfield, who claimed in an Instagram post ‘that’s what I’m try to do, ruin everybody’s childhood!’
I don’t know about you, but I can smell the soiled nappy of Enfant terrible!
The excellent thing about this film is it is actually a sequel to all of A. A. Mine’s original stories, with some embellishments.
Mary (Paula Coiz) and Christopher Robin (Nikolai Leon) smell some Pooh.
Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey tells of Christopher Robin (Nikolai Leon) who as a child met some strange half human, half animal creatures, Owl, Rabbit, Eeyore, Piglet and Winnie the Pooh, in 100 Acre Wood, whom he befriended and everyday took them food and played with them… but little boys grow up and eventually, Christopher left them to fend for themselves, but they had lost their animalistic instincts, and on one particularly hungry night, killed Eeyore and ate him. This effected them so badly that they swore they would never ever talk to a human ever again.
Many years later, Christopher takes his fiancé Mary (Paula Coiz) back to prove to her that every story he had told her about his childhood was true, but after Piglet (Chris Cordell) murders her, and he and Winnie the Pooh (Craig David Dowsett) take Christopher prisoner, they start a rampage which includes a local house which has had recently had a group of young women have moved in for a short holiday, getting away from the pressure of the real world and the digital age.
Lara (Natasha Tosini) is about to be in even hotter water!
This film has one thing that is quite frustrating about it: the premise is so damned stupid that you want to hate it and as a gory monster movie… we’ll, it’s actually not that bad! It does the simple thing of filling itself full of standard horror tropes as they obviously expected that such an idea would be thought of as ridiculous. Also, in it making the 100 Acre Wood animals just men in masks, the need for the sense of disbelief that would be required for animatronics or stop motion is bypassed, and we can just get into the ideas of the story and the 100 mile-an-hour gore and violence.
I’ll just double down on what I claimed too: the masks look like something Trick or Treat Studios would produce to piss of Disney, and they are just whacked onto the heads of monstrously sized actors (well they appear to be, whether they are or not could be a trick of the camera) and the buffoonishly friendly faces belie the terror that they can cause. This juxtaposition of childhood memories and adult violence are off-putting and really make them terrifying. The effects are on point too, with some really strange bits with Pooh’s friendly face being coated in blood as he dispatches another human.
The gore is frequent and often
The acting is, well, classic horror trope-ish as well, with a combination of actual decent actors, and people who can read words but are attractive, so being convincing is just a side product. I can’t imagine any of the people in the film will ever be concerned about this being on their resume when they are accepting their Oscar.
The music and set pieces are top notch and make this weird film weirder. The 100 Acre Woods are flat out bizarre, and some of the other sets, like the abandoned garage, are places that I would have be unsettled by even if I was just the location scout. The soundtrack matches the odd places as well, confirming the location’s odd look with its soundscape.
The story of converting the legend of Pooh and his friends is quite clever, with starvation and abandonment being their motivations for being killers, and this is well incorporated into what proves itself to be a well-made slasher/ monster movie… I’m still not quite sure which as it on one hand it’s like a Frankenstein movie, but on the other, seems like Texas Chain Saw Massacre, or The Hills Have Eyes. Maybe seeing as it does have the ‘remote violent family’ thing happening, it’s more a hillbilly horror movie.
I think if I must make the comparison to another movie, it would be Wrong Turn. It’s got that 70s/ 80s remoteness vibe to it, but certainly is a modern take on it. The addition of Winnie the Pooh seems more like an afterthought to an existing script to give it notoriety and attention, but it slides right in like a knife between the ribs.
To its detriment, it does somehow feel like it goes on a little too long. Is it because it’s a joke that outstays it’s welcome? Maybe, but it took me several sittings to get through it.
Despite that, I did have a lot of fun watching this film, but I think without the Pooh references it would be easily forgotten. It’s good, but like many horror movies of this type, I think it might fade quite quickly and be one of those ‘yeah, I think I saw that like ten years ago’ movies.
The menu screen to the Umbrella Entertainment release
There’s some interesting stuff amongst the extras on this Australian Bluray release of the film.
Behind the Scenes is literally just some shot-on-phone footage of on-set ways of making the movie. No information, no commentary, just stuff that happened. There’s not a great deal of interest here. It’s probably a nice keepsake for those who worked on the film.
Bloopers is just what it says on the box. As with the above extra, the people who worked on the film would possibly find it funnier than we, the viewers.
Winnie the Pooh – Violins and Honey is actually a fascinating piece… it’s a piece that will also make you say ‘why?’ but it’s interesting nevertheless. For some reason, composer Andrew Scott Bell and his manager Mike Rosen travel to an apiary as they had heard that a company called Violin Torture had set a violin in a hive to see if bees would use it, and Bell wanted to use the violin on the soundtrack. This is their story.
Fan Art is a 30 second slideshow of some fan art for the movie.
There is also a trailer for the film.
This disc also features an audio commentary, which I didn’t find until later as it’s in the ‘set up’ menu option rather than the ‘extras. The commentary is with writer/ director Rhys Frake-Waterfield and cinematographer Vince Knight. It’s a very engaging commentary with discussions about budget and even the release date and it’s competitor releases.
The film was reviewed using the Australian release Bluray, purchased from JB Hifi.
Seriously, if you have this much blood on your Pooh, seek medical advice!
Disc: Of all the things in the world I never though I’d need, like an underwater car, or a parrot, or skydiving lessons, Nicholas Cage as Dracula was certainly amongst them, but now I’m starting to look at that list… do I want to drive underwater, would a pet bird be fun and is plummeting to my almost certain death from an aeroplane things I DO need, because Cage as Dracula is most definitely something that made me happy.
Renfield was written by Ryan Ripley, based on a treatment by Invincible and The Walking Dead’s Robert Kirkman, and was directed by Chris McKay, best known as the director of the incredibly popular The Lego Batman Movie (2017). Is he the right guy for a horror movie? Well no, but he is certainly right for this amusing look at Dracula and his henchman Renfield.
This film has an interesting take of the legend of Dracula as its told from the point of view of his interred assistant, Renfield (Nicholas Hoult).
Hoult as Renfield
This tale takes place in modern day, and after a small recounting of his life as Dracula’s slave (told with some fun deep-fakery with Bela Lugosi’s Dracula film from the 30s) we get stuck right into it as we find Renfield at a support group in New Orleans. This support group is one to help those in abusive relationships, and whilst Renfield initially uses it as a way to find people who ‘deserve’ to be fed to Dracula, he finds some of the stories resonating and that he himself is in an abusive relationship with his master.
Cage as Dracula
Before that though, we find Renfield helping one of the group members who has been abused by her drug dealer boyfriend, who has stolen drugs from the Lobo crime family. On the same night he goes to get him to feed Dracula, the son of the crime family matriarch, Teddy (Ben Schwartz) has delivered an assassin to kill the dealer/thieves and so Renfield finds himself in a three way fight.
By the way, I should point out that Renfield gains temporary super powers whenever he eats a bug, which leads to some funny and gross moments in the film.
The resulting bloodshed results in the police getting involved, and we find cop Rebecca (Awkwafina) hot on the tail of Teddy, to try and avenge her father, a cop killed by the Lobo family.
Awkwafina as Rebecca
Renfield quickly finds an ally in Rebecca and in response, and in a petty relationship moment that many of us have endured, Dracula finds himself as a volunteer in the Lobo crime family! So what happens when a crime family, the police and an ancient evil collide? Bloodshed, of course… lots and lots of it.
I like to say I am not a big fan of the horror/ comedy sub-genre, but considering I rate Return of the Living Dead, Shaun of the Dead and Reanimator high on my favourite movies list, I should probably stop saying that. Whilst Renfield doesn’t hit the heights of those three, it is a fun take of the legend of Dracula.
Nicholas Hoult as Renfield is obviously the prime character in the film, and he does the stuttering, doddering Englishman role to a T, to the point I occasionally thought he was doing an impression of Hugh Grant. His nervousness and jittery characterisation of Renfield is a fantastic juxtaposition to the super powered, blood machine that he becomes after eating a bug.
Nic Cage as Dracula is obviously the standout in the film. An actor who seemingly has become a conscious parody of himself in the past ten years has really shone him in this role, as he adapts so many affectations of various other Dracula films including Nosferatu, Bela Lugosi’s performance and even his own uncle’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula film from the 90s. He chews up every scene and delivers both the threat and the laughs with an equal amount of gusto. Honestly, the conscious parody has actually benefitted him in this performance.
Awkwafina is surprising in the cop role, riffing a little bit of Samuel L. Jackson (but there’s not Bats on a mother fucking Plane here) with her foul-mouthed, no nonsense, shouty, abusive, bullying cop. Her and Hoult share a few amazing action sequence too which stand out as high points in both the violence and the comedy stake.
On that: the film has a great look to it and the New Orleans backdrop for the crime family is fantastic. Many of the set pieces are perfect, including the Lobo family torture chamber, and the hospital that Renfield and Dracula have holed up in, abandoned after a major disaster but taking place of a gothic domicile and looking like a run down castle fits perfectly. The fight scenes are also spectacularly silly, and even have a Marvel/ superhero film ridiculousness to it, but with more blood than I care to even be able to understand. There’s SO much I’m sure, even after watching the making-of stuff, that at least some of it MUST have not been practical.
I can comfortably see this in a regular rotation in my re-watch list of films. It’s heaps of fun and tells an interesting tale about abusive relationships, and Cage’s Dracula is spectacularly amazing.
The Australian Bluray menu screen
We have a lot of extras on this Australian Bluray release.
There a big set of Deleted and Extended Scenes and a few Alternate Takes as well. As I usually say, the film was neither better nor suffered without them, and the takes used in the film were clearly the best.
Dracula UnCaged looks at Cage’s performance as Dracula, with commentary from co-stars and crew, along with his own affection for the role, based on a childhood love of Nosferatu (1922) and right through to being an adult fan of vampire films. Cage recounts his performance via his personal history with the craft of acting, and with that of his family’s experience with making vampire films.
Monsters and Men: Behind the Scenes of Renfield discusses at the motivation of the film, and its origins and execution. They breakdown everything from the look of the film to the costumes and everything else, all in under 15 minutes!
Stages of Rejuvenation is an interesting look at the make up effects on Cage’s face.
Flesh and Blood looks at the practical effects of the film which surprised me. I had to go back and rewrite a part of this very review because I assumed by the amount of blood that it was CGI and it wasn’t!
Fighting Dirty unpacks the ridiculous and amazing fight scenes that are scrappy and comic-booky but oh-so-violent in there execution!
The Making of a Deleted Scene: Renfield’s Dance is interesting but essentially superfluous as the sequence didn’t make it into the film. I appreciate that they included it as it would be frustrating for all involved if it didn’t get seen at all.
Feature Commentary with Producer Samantha Nisenboim, Screenwriter Ryan Ridley and Crew (they do list themselves at the beginning of the commentary but they shoot out there names so quickly I couldn’t catch them all) is spectacularly enthusiastic and really informative.
The cover to the Australian Bluray release of M3GAN.
M3GAN (2022)
If James Wan has kids, I feel sorry for them because the man clearly has an issue with dolls in the house. From Dead Silence, to the Annabelle films and now M3GAN, the poor man clearly has some residual childhood trauma based around a doll of some sort.
As a younger sibling, I bet he has an older sister!
M3GAN was written by Akela Cooper, who wrote Malignant (which I really liked) based on Wan’s story, and was directed by Gerard Johnstone, who also directed the quirky New Zealand horror tale Housebound and tells of 9 year old Cady (Violet McGraw), who lost her parents in a tragic car accident and has been made the ward of her aunt, Gemma (Allison Williams) who works for the toy company, Funki and is the creator of the popular app-based toy, PerPetual Pets.
Gemma (Allison Williams) isn’t very good at life, real or artificial
Gemma is somewhat of a loner and is ill-prepared for parenthood, and so she revisits her design for a virtual friend called ‘M3GAN’ (Amie Donald as the body, Jenna Davis as the voice and various special effects models) whom she imprints Cady onto so they can become best of friends. M3GAN’s programming allows her to grow and adapt to her environment, and her AI adjusts to suit the owner’s needs, including education and protection.
Cady (Violet McGraw)
Unfortunately, Cady becomes far too dependent on M3GAN, and more worryingly, M3GAN’s comprehension of her ‘protective’ programming becomes far more literal and those who hurt or cross Cady end up in M3GAN’s crosshairs, with deadly results…
Model 3 Generative Android aka M3GAN
The film sits firmly in those ‘evil doll’ sub-genre of horror films, even though the technological aspect probably is rarer than the ‘possessed by a demon’ idea as in Annabelle or Dolly Dearest. It doesn’t offer much new, as in the threat of the doll is the cornerstone of the story, and even the technological aspect has been used before in things like Small Soldiers, and more recently in 2019’s Child’s Play remake.
I feel this film really is influenced by what I’ve observed in working retail and the way some parents parent their children these days. The misunderstanding of Gemma of what it is to be to be a parent, and to just hand a child something like an iPad and hope they are ok is so prevalent in society that to me, it’s borderline child abuse. Some children are so absorbed with their devices that they no longer become aware of an outside world: I work in a toy store and it horrifies me when I see kids not look up from their screens to look at the toys.
The cast in this film are a perfect fit. McGraw is comfortable in her role as a child… funnily enough she is one… and manages the emotional movement from mourning to obsessive as a more mature actor would. Williams, who I loved in Jordan Peele’s Get Out, is fabulous in her clearly out of her depth sudden parent role, who is not managing to maintain a work/ life balance. A special shout out has to go to Ronny Chieng as David, Gemma’s boss who quite frankly, is a massive arsehole, and he plays it to a T: that ambition Xennial type who sacrifices relationships for financial status.
The real winner cast member though is M3GAN herself. The special effects are fabulous and the menacing looks from what is essentially a blank slate shows a subtlety that stands above. The physical presence of Donald with some of the strange dances and bodily contortions really speak to the characterisation as well. Davis’ voice talents as M3GAN’s again, like the face, have a underlying threat to almost everything she says.
The character is such a striking image that the use of her in the viral Tik Tok-styled dance advertising was the perfect storm of weird and hard to look away from.
The film also seems to be lining up a couple of toy companies, even actually the entire toy industry, in its sights, from the frankly crass advertisement that the film opens with for the PerPetual Pet that emulates the awful fad toys that toy companies continue to force upon parents, especially with the advent of influencers who are claiming to be anti-corporate or ‘green’ whilst showing off the latest piece of plastic crap they were ‘gifted’ by the companies for ‘review purposes’, to what seems to be the direct targeting of Funko, of Funko Pop (TM) fame, with the company name ‘Funki’.
I wanted to like this film, and I believe I have a simmering affection for it due to the characters rather than the story, which let’s face it, is simply too late! As mentioned before, the remake of Child’s Play in 2019 certainly offered the idea of a fully interactive electronic toy as the villain and even though the much-loved Aubrey Plaza and Mark Hamill are in it, it was poorly received. This is certainly a better film than that but that doesn’t make it a good film, thoigh it is a fun and easy-to-watch distraction with some solid performances.
This disc comes with two different versions of the film, a theatrical, and the incorrectly named ‘Unrated’ version (incorrectly named as it quite clearly says <MA15+> on the cover) which has a little more gore and a few extra bits of swearing, because you know, the difference between a film for adults and one for teenagers is how often the word ‘fuck’ is said. Ridiculous. Funnily enough, the unrated, gorier version is shorter because with the gore added back in, the scenes of tension didn’t need to be in place so those scenes are shorter.
The menu screen to the Bluray release of M3GAN
Disc: There are only three extras on this disc:
A New Vision of Horror is the occasionally slightly embarrassing ‘oh, he’s the master of modern horror’ pieces that these things have on them.
Bringing life to M3GAN looks at the special effects and the young artist who played the title role, and how the rest of the cast reacted to them.
Getting Hacked is not about you PC, but a look an the gore and violence in the film and how it was executed.
This film was reviewed on the Australian Bluray release, purchased from JB Hifi.
Digital Retribution 